so my boyfriend of 3yr's mom is an alcoholic.. she is an amazing person, nice, giving, friendly(honestly will talk to anyone), Curtious, truthful (even when it hurts), etc. but has had a troubleling past with abuse physical and mentally which lead her to drinking... last labor day.. she said that she that was the last day of her drinking... she was gonna cut cold turkey, she already talked to her dr. and was going to group/one on one meetings to help her.. well after a month we found out she was sneaking beer when no one was home... or when she thought we weren't looking.. she hid them in her bathroom, and drank from a Styrofoam cup w/ lid (we couldn't see threw).. then on her birthday.. yestureday... she said that she wanted to have a few drinks b/c it was her b-day (she doesnt know that we know she drank before this day) so she bought the beer... not 1 six pack but 2 wich means she planed on drinking 12... wich up set me b/c i hate to see her put her self threw this.. she did so well and now it is back to step one... i understand her relapsing is normal and i knew it would happen.. but after watching her take beer after beer yesterday... and then seeing her pass out while we were watching a movie... i heard her opening a can in her bedroom today :( it tear's me up inside and i know it is hurting her kids.. they dont know she drank to day tho.. by bf was at work and i took the brothers out to the store and stuff... i wrote her a letter... just telling her that were here for her. and that it hurts me that she is sneaking around and lieing to us.../ not trusting us so she can confide in us... and let her know how much it is hurting the boys... she is not a bad drunk as in violent.. she is annoying but not bad... our main concern is that it is killing her.. u can see it...taking a toll on her... so i just need some suggestions/ advise...
have u ever had to deal with an alcoholic or were you one...
how'd u get over it?/ deal with it?What do i do?( to help her stop drinking)?
Alcoholics ARE some of the most lovable, funny and sensative people I know...still drinking or sober!
What YOU need to do is go to Alanon and learn about the three C's: (1)You didn't cause it, (2)you can't cure it and (3)you can't control it. If you really want to help this woman, contact a Treatment Center about doing an Intervention. I have been sober for almost 23 yrs. and it's the greatest gift I've EVER received. I attend AA meetings regularly.My entire life has changed and I finally like myself in my own skin! It is a miracle working program. Alcoholism is about the pain and the thinking, NOT the drinking. This is why AA has saved so many lives and transformed people.
I will be praying for a miracle for your BF's mother!What do i do?( to help her stop drinking)?
Stop giving her alcohol. BUT NOT AT ONCE. Make sure it's stopped progressively. Like cut down the amount slowly. a bottle one day.. few days later 3/4 of a bottle. few days later. 1/2 a bottle. then 1/4.. Then taa daa. :D
Let the mind have time to understand a change
Let her drink, she'll stop when she get ready, you cant make someone stop drinking you can only tell them whats in your opinion best for them and leave it at that and just hope she'll make the desicion to do what you think is the right thing.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
If I wrote a book about personal drug/ alcohol addiction, would you read it?
The grammar and spelling may be terrible (i apologize).
I have been thinking about this for some time now. I am now 27 and over the last 7 years have experienced way too much drug and alcohol incidents. I'm trying real hard to hit the key points of why I think the last 7 years of my life would interest anyone enough to read. From grade school until I graduated high school, I remained the most straight edge kid you ever met. I Even graduated high school being on National Honor's society and was near the top of the class. I was an athlete and came from a middle class family, but the whole time I was dealing with an alcoholic father on the weekends. He was a good father most of the time, but did not handle drinking so well. For that reason, I did not have a drink until I was almost 21, but did start doing drugs at age 20. I have been arrested 7 times for alcohol related incidents and yet I have held down a very respected professional job for three years now after graduating college with a 3.2. I have friends that are millionaires and friends that have literally lived on the street. I have a daughter that was born when I was 25. I have dwelt with addiction problems since I can remember. Starting early with being addicted to being perfect in everything I did, which then turned into playing basketball, and then right before drugs, I was addicted to sex. To try and quit one addiction I just start doing another more often. Every time I quit doing drugs, I start drinking more or becoming addicted to sex again. I discovered online poker which became my worst addiction of all. To this day I am paying back over 6000 in credit cards used to play online poker during college. I am in the process of going through my 2nd DUI which may result in the losing of my job. I have dwelt with being put in a psych ward twice and have been given the diagnosis of Manic Depressant (Bi Polar) and having generalized anxiety since I was 18. I fight off abusing drugs for months at a time only to end up going back or becoming a worst alcoholic again.
I am looking for a way to make everything bad and dumb I have done be helpful and meaningful some way.I think that maybe If I wrote a book telling my life story so far, that it might be able to help some people. I have experienced a lot of life in a few short years that people who are lucky only have to watch in movies. Also, because of my profession, it is ridiculous that I am the person that I am. I know its wrong and I feel bad, yet I still do dumb things. I was the youngest person to ever be voted ';employee of the month '; at my job. Yet, I've had to deal with all the guilt of the bad things I keep doing. My book would focus on having three goals: to entertain, to educate,and to help: either those people about the make the same mistakes I did, or to help their families to understand the mind set of someone with an addictive personality.
The book would include sex, drugs, over coming them, and how to deal with them, . I am not sure if there are many books out there like this. I know a lot of people have lived WAY worst lives, but most of the ones that I know, never finished college, are behind bars, are have passed away.
I have managed to get a good job, do it well, yet I still deal with the addiction issues and am still figuring out how to stop.
Thanks for your time and I am fine with criticisms, but the real question I am asking is if you think this is a book worth writing to be read. I am also going to be pursuing a career as a speaker to younger children and teens about my life and ideas to stay clean.If I wrote a book about personal drug/ alcohol addiction, would you read it?
From what you say I think your book would help many people struggling with drug and alcohol addiction. Follow your dreams and write the book. I wish you lots of luck.If I wrote a book about personal drug/ alcohol addiction, would you read it?
I'm an addict myself, and addict to addict, is there really any book you could have read that would have stopped you from pursuing your addiction?
I think the most helpful/successful books are of people who were down and how they found peace.
I have been thinking about this for some time now. I am now 27 and over the last 7 years have experienced way too much drug and alcohol incidents. I'm trying real hard to hit the key points of why I think the last 7 years of my life would interest anyone enough to read. From grade school until I graduated high school, I remained the most straight edge kid you ever met. I Even graduated high school being on National Honor's society and was near the top of the class. I was an athlete and came from a middle class family, but the whole time I was dealing with an alcoholic father on the weekends. He was a good father most of the time, but did not handle drinking so well. For that reason, I did not have a drink until I was almost 21, but did start doing drugs at age 20. I have been arrested 7 times for alcohol related incidents and yet I have held down a very respected professional job for three years now after graduating college with a 3.2. I have friends that are millionaires and friends that have literally lived on the street. I have a daughter that was born when I was 25. I have dwelt with addiction problems since I can remember. Starting early with being addicted to being perfect in everything I did, which then turned into playing basketball, and then right before drugs, I was addicted to sex. To try and quit one addiction I just start doing another more often. Every time I quit doing drugs, I start drinking more or becoming addicted to sex again. I discovered online poker which became my worst addiction of all. To this day I am paying back over 6000 in credit cards used to play online poker during college. I am in the process of going through my 2nd DUI which may result in the losing of my job. I have dwelt with being put in a psych ward twice and have been given the diagnosis of Manic Depressant (Bi Polar) and having generalized anxiety since I was 18. I fight off abusing drugs for months at a time only to end up going back or becoming a worst alcoholic again.
I am looking for a way to make everything bad and dumb I have done be helpful and meaningful some way.I think that maybe If I wrote a book telling my life story so far, that it might be able to help some people. I have experienced a lot of life in a few short years that people who are lucky only have to watch in movies. Also, because of my profession, it is ridiculous that I am the person that I am. I know its wrong and I feel bad, yet I still do dumb things. I was the youngest person to ever be voted ';employee of the month '; at my job. Yet, I've had to deal with all the guilt of the bad things I keep doing. My book would focus on having three goals: to entertain, to educate,and to help: either those people about the make the same mistakes I did, or to help their families to understand the mind set of someone with an addictive personality.
The book would include sex, drugs, over coming them, and how to deal with them, . I am not sure if there are many books out there like this. I know a lot of people have lived WAY worst lives, but most of the ones that I know, never finished college, are behind bars, are have passed away.
I have managed to get a good job, do it well, yet I still deal with the addiction issues and am still figuring out how to stop.
Thanks for your time and I am fine with criticisms, but the real question I am asking is if you think this is a book worth writing to be read. I am also going to be pursuing a career as a speaker to younger children and teens about my life and ideas to stay clean.If I wrote a book about personal drug/ alcohol addiction, would you read it?
From what you say I think your book would help many people struggling with drug and alcohol addiction. Follow your dreams and write the book. I wish you lots of luck.If I wrote a book about personal drug/ alcohol addiction, would you read it?
I'm an addict myself, and addict to addict, is there really any book you could have read that would have stopped you from pursuing your addiction?
I think the most helpful/successful books are of people who were down and how they found peace.
My dad is so screwed up!!!!?
am 38 and he is 66. he is an alcoholic. he gets drunk every night. i did not know this and i moved in with them just until i remodel my house. wow did i get an eyeful. we got into it one night. he was drinking and got mad . i had these columns i was going to put in my house and i was telling him how i didnt know he was an alcoholic and he was saying lies about me to my mom. then he attempts to pick up my column and throw them out the door into the garage. luckily my mom stopped him. and had to stop him quite a few times. he never used to do this not until about 7 years ago. has anyone ever dealt with an alcoholic before. my mom just feels he is out of her control and she has never worked and is so dependant on him. he really believes he has no drinking problem. i have tried talking to him but he just says yes i can stop and i wont do it anymore. dealing with an older parent who has a drinking problem is just something noone knows how to deal withMy dad is so screwed up!!!!?
If I were you, I would get in touch with your local Al-Anon group. I'm in Texas but I'm sure wherever you're located, the will have a group.
http://www.texas-al-anon.org/reptiles
If I were you, I would get in touch with your local Al-Anon group. I'm in Texas but I'm sure wherever you're located, the will have a group.
http://www.texas-al-anon.org/
My dad is so screwed up......?
I am 38 and he is 66. he is an alcoholic. he gets drunk every night. i did not know this and i moved in with them just until i remodel my house. wow did i get an eyeful. we got into it one night. he was drinking and got mad . i had these columns i was going to put in my house and i was telling him how i didnt know he was an alcoholic and he was saying lies about me to my mom. then he attempts to pick up my column and throw them out the door into the garage. luckily my mom stopped him. and had to stop him quite a few times. he never used to do this not until about 7 years ago. has anyone ever dealt with an alcoholic before. my mom just feels he is out of her control and she has never worked and is so dependant on him. he really believes he has no drinking problem. i have tried talking to him but he just says yes i can stop and i wont do it anymore. dealing with an older parent who has a drinking problem is just something noone knows how to deal withMy dad is so screwed up......?
I'm 16 and my mother used to be alcoholic, she cut back, which I am glad for, I talked to her about it when she is sober. When there are those nights she does drink, she drinks too much at one time (1.5 litres of wine in a couple of hours) so I dump some out, and she doesn't say anything about it. She even said to keep doing it because she doesn't want to drink.
Good luck.
Help with mine please?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Amgrv79espeltHPlzGLwZRfsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100510085359AAwpAGT
I'm 16 and my mother used to be alcoholic, she cut back, which I am glad for, I talked to her about it when she is sober. When there are those nights she does drink, she drinks too much at one time (1.5 litres of wine in a couple of hours) so I dump some out, and she doesn't say anything about it. She even said to keep doing it because she doesn't want to drink.
Good luck.
Help with mine please?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Amgrv79espeltHPlzGLwZRfsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100510085359AAwpAGT
How do you let someone who has a past drinking problem finally make their own decisions when your married?
and you have everything to lose together? I don't want to be the one telling him not to anymore.
I don't want to fight over it anymore.
I do want to find myself again. I am so wrapped up in him, I don't know who I am anymore.
To those who have dealt with an alcoholic what helped you get passed it?How do you let someone who has a past drinking problem finally make their own decisions when your married?
You have to be strong - you can tell him that yes! he can have that beer - but in having that beer, he is in danger of losing you - so he has a choice to make - have the beer, or lose his wife - quite a tough decision.
Obviously, if he starts having a beer, he could go back into the alcoholism again - you certainly don't want nor need that.
I am quite concerned about you being so wrapped up in him - and the fact that you don't know who you are anymore.
That isn't good - you need to find out who you are and where you stand in this marriage- and you have to prepare yourself in case he makes the wrong choice - beer.
Good Luck!How do you let someone who has a past drinking problem finally make their own decisions when your married?
I can honestly tell you that you are going to have problems after that first beer. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and we have been through rehab and everything. When he wants to drink he wants to be with me but when he wants to be sober he doesn't have a need for me. I am telling you this because my husband started off just wanting a taste of liquor. I can tell you that one shot turned into two and a pint turned into a fifth and that turned into a half of gallon. If he has the one drink it is going to be hard especially for a recovering alcoholic to quit. My husband left me about 2 months ago and this is how it started it started with him making all of his own decisions because mines weren't good enough because he was the man and I didn't make him feel like that so he say. It is best that you continue to encourage him not to drink and even though it is not guaranteed to work because he does have his own mind be prepared to get ready to go through some tough times. Another thing look for local Al-Anon meetings. I attended it helped me deal with my husband because the program will help let you know that it is his problem and not yours not only that it will also teach you that we sometimes can be enablers and it makes them not like us because of us being willing to accept the drinking. Just attend one and I promise it will help because it help make you really understand what they are going through but it helps you keep control of you while they are going through. GOOD LUCK!!!
Go to AlAnon to learn how to cope with his problem. It's a significant, present day problem when he wants to drink now. Trust him when he's going to AA, has a sponsor he talks to every day or many times a week, and he sounds like he's working on sobriety, not relapse.
I hope for your sake that you aren't married to this man.
EDIT: DO NOT tell an alcoholic to drink. He's already looking for any excuse. Say, ';What did your sponsor tell you to do? Have you read the Big Book today? Have you talked to another alcoholic? Have you been to a meeting today? Would you like me to go to one with you?';
If you're tired of feeling responsible for his sobriety, leave him.
I don't want to fight over it anymore.
I do want to find myself again. I am so wrapped up in him, I don't know who I am anymore.
To those who have dealt with an alcoholic what helped you get passed it?How do you let someone who has a past drinking problem finally make their own decisions when your married?
You have to be strong - you can tell him that yes! he can have that beer - but in having that beer, he is in danger of losing you - so he has a choice to make - have the beer, or lose his wife - quite a tough decision.
Obviously, if he starts having a beer, he could go back into the alcoholism again - you certainly don't want nor need that.
I am quite concerned about you being so wrapped up in him - and the fact that you don't know who you are anymore.
That isn't good - you need to find out who you are and where you stand in this marriage- and you have to prepare yourself in case he makes the wrong choice - beer.
Good Luck!How do you let someone who has a past drinking problem finally make their own decisions when your married?
I can honestly tell you that you are going to have problems after that first beer. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and we have been through rehab and everything. When he wants to drink he wants to be with me but when he wants to be sober he doesn't have a need for me. I am telling you this because my husband started off just wanting a taste of liquor. I can tell you that one shot turned into two and a pint turned into a fifth and that turned into a half of gallon. If he has the one drink it is going to be hard especially for a recovering alcoholic to quit. My husband left me about 2 months ago and this is how it started it started with him making all of his own decisions because mines weren't good enough because he was the man and I didn't make him feel like that so he say. It is best that you continue to encourage him not to drink and even though it is not guaranteed to work because he does have his own mind be prepared to get ready to go through some tough times. Another thing look for local Al-Anon meetings. I attended it helped me deal with my husband because the program will help let you know that it is his problem and not yours not only that it will also teach you that we sometimes can be enablers and it makes them not like us because of us being willing to accept the drinking. Just attend one and I promise it will help because it help make you really understand what they are going through but it helps you keep control of you while they are going through. GOOD LUCK!!!
Go to AlAnon to learn how to cope with his problem. It's a significant, present day problem when he wants to drink now. Trust him when he's going to AA, has a sponsor he talks to every day or many times a week, and he sounds like he's working on sobriety, not relapse.
I hope for your sake that you aren't married to this man.
EDIT: DO NOT tell an alcoholic to drink. He's already looking for any excuse. Say, ';What did your sponsor tell you to do? Have you read the Big Book today? Have you talked to another alcoholic? Have you been to a meeting today? Would you like me to go to one with you?';
If you're tired of feeling responsible for his sobriety, leave him.
My dad is an alcoholic, how am I supposed to deal with it?
My dad was a alcoholic. I started dumping out his booze. When he hid it I started taking pictures of him when he was drunk and leaving them for him when he was sober.
He didn't stop completely but he learned to be more responsible. I don't know if it would have eventually worked because he became too sick to drink.My dad is an alcoholic, how am I supposed to deal with it?
Go to an AL-ANON meeting. I think that's what it's called. It's for children/family of of alcoholics.
Here: www.al-anon.alateen.orgMy dad is an alcoholic, how am I supposed to deal with it?
you just do. As long as he's not hurting you, accept him for all his problems, and try and help anyway you can
Tell the family to get an intervention on him, or do an intervention on him yourself. You only have one Dad Alcoholism will kill him if he doesn't get help. I hope for the best of you because my father Died when I was 11. I wasn't old enough to relise that my Dad had a problem. Get your Dad some help before its too late. It changes the family forevor when you lose a parent. I have yet to forgive him.
http://www.camh.net/About_Addiction_Ment鈥?/a>
Go to Ala-non, or Ala-teen. [depending] . You need support as much as he needs AA [or something] I went thru it too. Both parents died from drink. It wasn't pretty. Get help.
Alateen if you are a teenager, or Alanon if adult.
http://www.al-anon.org/alateen.html
http://www.al-anon.org/
TALK TO HIM AND OR TALK TO A TEACHER,FRIEND,OR FAMILY MEMBER
I'm sorry to say your just gonna have to go with the flow for the time being until u can move out there is nothing you can do until your dad is willing I'm sorry to say x
It is very difficult but you have to seek professional help for him. Try AAA or whatever org in your country. Either that or try to live with it like I did. It should make you stronger and determine not to be like him..
You don't give many details but Ill say this . If your dad is abusive when hes drunk that is one thing . Now if he is just and alcholic and just embarasses you I say ride it out till your old enough then move out and give him ultimatum . Tell him hes going to have to get help or relationship is over !
Im so sorry. Thats really hard. I have an alcoholic uncle and he just pisses me off. If your dad is drunk, go to a friends or neighbors house. someone that you trust. Discuss before hand about coming over when your dad is drinking, so they know. Thats what I do.
In your own way.
It's a sad situation, but a reality. Without knowing the details, it's somewhat hard to make any real suggestions. But even those are limited (let's be real here, most families aren't going to seek professional help). I wish they would, but they don't.
Stay strong and above all, learn from this experience.
tell him that you and your futrue children will miss him that you wish he could have been around longer and now what are you supposed to tell his grandchildren about grandpa
If he's mean when he's drunk, don't talk to him.
But all I can say is : don't do what he does, and try to stay away from him (when he's drunk) or try talking to him.
Well my answer starts with one of empathy.
You see my dad was an alcoholic and he died of alcohol related medical issues when he was 49 and I was 18. I still have mental health issues that relate to being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACA)I don't mean to scare you.
First, see if there are any ACA groups in your area.
Second, if not, and your dad has admitted his problem to the family, see if you and your dad can attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting together.
Lastly, the first thing you will learn in ACA and AA meetings is that
You must accept the things you cannot change
You must actively change the things you can
You must have the wisdom to know the difference between the two of them.
You cannot change your father. If he wants to kill himself with booze that is his choice and not yours.
But you can change yourself.
Accept his alcoholism. It is an illness and he still loves you.
Beyond that, the rest is up to you.
Good luck.
I know that in most if not all towns and cities, there are meetings for Family of Alcoholics. I think if you go to your local community center or library there are usually flyers about the meetings.
If that doesn't fan out, try going to http://www.al-anon.alateen.org
Or you could find a Family of Alcoholics chat group online. That's what I did since I didn't want everyone in my town knowing my mom was an alcoholic.
After you find a group, either in real life or in cyber space, talk to your mom or an aunt or uncle to see if they could form an intervention for your dad.
I really hope your dad gets better, I know my life got so much better when my mom started getting help.
dealing with an alcholic is a really hard job. the best thing to do is stay clear of him when hes drinking. i know sometimes they are nicer when they are drinking and mean when there not. try to talk to him about what it is doing to himself and to you. i had a dad who drank. i got involed in some allateen groups they seem to help me cope with it a little better. just rember your not alone talking sometimes is a really big help
my dad was one for most of my life.. its kinda always on the back of my mind. but i discovered the secret, get away from the situation. become a hippy. ( without the drugs ) stay positive. i know its hard to do. i know everything your going through right now. and it sucks. but move on, remove yourself. and love life!
hey!
my mom is an alcoholic...i found that it helped to lean on friends...talk to them when you are having a bad day because of him...join sports, it helps to get your mind off of things...if only for a minute (it feels good not to have to worry,be scared, or just be sad)... Talk to a school councelor...they are there to help...and most of all talk to your dad and let him know how he is affecting your life,school,friends,etc. It may not seem like it will help...But then again it may open his eyes and it may help HIM more than you would ever know.
Hope that this helps you ;-)
Jett B
He didn't stop completely but he learned to be more responsible. I don't know if it would have eventually worked because he became too sick to drink.My dad is an alcoholic, how am I supposed to deal with it?
Go to an AL-ANON meeting. I think that's what it's called. It's for children/family of of alcoholics.
Here: www.al-anon.alateen.orgMy dad is an alcoholic, how am I supposed to deal with it?
you just do. As long as he's not hurting you, accept him for all his problems, and try and help anyway you can
Tell the family to get an intervention on him, or do an intervention on him yourself. You only have one Dad Alcoholism will kill him if he doesn't get help. I hope for the best of you because my father Died when I was 11. I wasn't old enough to relise that my Dad had a problem. Get your Dad some help before its too late. It changes the family forevor when you lose a parent. I have yet to forgive him.
http://www.camh.net/About_Addiction_Ment鈥?/a>
Go to Ala-non, or Ala-teen. [depending] . You need support as much as he needs AA [or something] I went thru it too. Both parents died from drink. It wasn't pretty. Get help.
Alateen if you are a teenager, or Alanon if adult.
http://www.al-anon.org/alateen.html
http://www.al-anon.org/
TALK TO HIM AND OR TALK TO A TEACHER,FRIEND,OR FAMILY MEMBER
I'm sorry to say your just gonna have to go with the flow for the time being until u can move out there is nothing you can do until your dad is willing I'm sorry to say x
It is very difficult but you have to seek professional help for him. Try AAA or whatever org in your country. Either that or try to live with it like I did. It should make you stronger and determine not to be like him..
You don't give many details but Ill say this . If your dad is abusive when hes drunk that is one thing . Now if he is just and alcholic and just embarasses you I say ride it out till your old enough then move out and give him ultimatum . Tell him hes going to have to get help or relationship is over !
Im so sorry. Thats really hard. I have an alcoholic uncle and he just pisses me off. If your dad is drunk, go to a friends or neighbors house. someone that you trust. Discuss before hand about coming over when your dad is drinking, so they know. Thats what I do.
In your own way.
It's a sad situation, but a reality. Without knowing the details, it's somewhat hard to make any real suggestions. But even those are limited (let's be real here, most families aren't going to seek professional help). I wish they would, but they don't.
Stay strong and above all, learn from this experience.
tell him that you and your futrue children will miss him that you wish he could have been around longer and now what are you supposed to tell his grandchildren about grandpa
If he's mean when he's drunk, don't talk to him.
But all I can say is : don't do what he does, and try to stay away from him (when he's drunk) or try talking to him.
Well my answer starts with one of empathy.
You see my dad was an alcoholic and he died of alcohol related medical issues when he was 49 and I was 18. I still have mental health issues that relate to being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACA)I don't mean to scare you.
First, see if there are any ACA groups in your area.
Second, if not, and your dad has admitted his problem to the family, see if you and your dad can attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting together.
Lastly, the first thing you will learn in ACA and AA meetings is that
You must accept the things you cannot change
You must actively change the things you can
You must have the wisdom to know the difference between the two of them.
You cannot change your father. If he wants to kill himself with booze that is his choice and not yours.
But you can change yourself.
Accept his alcoholism. It is an illness and he still loves you.
Beyond that, the rest is up to you.
Good luck.
I know that in most if not all towns and cities, there are meetings for Family of Alcoholics. I think if you go to your local community center or library there are usually flyers about the meetings.
If that doesn't fan out, try going to http://www.al-anon.alateen.org
Or you could find a Family of Alcoholics chat group online. That's what I did since I didn't want everyone in my town knowing my mom was an alcoholic.
After you find a group, either in real life or in cyber space, talk to your mom or an aunt or uncle to see if they could form an intervention for your dad.
I really hope your dad gets better, I know my life got so much better when my mom started getting help.
dealing with an alcholic is a really hard job. the best thing to do is stay clear of him when hes drinking. i know sometimes they are nicer when they are drinking and mean when there not. try to talk to him about what it is doing to himself and to you. i had a dad who drank. i got involed in some allateen groups they seem to help me cope with it a little better. just rember your not alone talking sometimes is a really big help
my dad was one for most of my life.. its kinda always on the back of my mind. but i discovered the secret, get away from the situation. become a hippy. ( without the drugs ) stay positive. i know its hard to do. i know everything your going through right now. and it sucks. but move on, remove yourself. and love life!
hey!
my mom is an alcoholic...i found that it helped to lean on friends...talk to them when you are having a bad day because of him...join sports, it helps to get your mind off of things...if only for a minute (it feels good not to have to worry,be scared, or just be sad)... Talk to a school councelor...they are there to help...and most of all talk to your dad and let him know how he is affecting your life,school,friends,etc. It may not seem like it will help...But then again it may open his eyes and it may help HIM more than you would ever know.
Hope that this helps you ;-)
Jett B
How to deal with a self centered, unfaithful and alcoholic husband?
Deal with the alcohol first and ignore the under-30 ignorant responses you'll get here.
Talk to a professional rehab counselor who can get help for your husband. Believe me, I have much experience in this field.
The alcohol is a response to his own self-hatred and anger and it will come out as misplaced and on you.
You must deal with this, this is the key. All of it is connected, but the professionals will tell you and so will I: The alcohol is never the problem: what makes a person want to drink is.
Being self-centered and unfaithful also spring from this.
Take action, don't wait, don't enable, don't make excuses, don't feel sorry for yourself. Just act.
JeffHow to deal with a self centered, unfaithful and alcoholic husband?
Bye , see you in court .How to deal with a self centered, unfaithful and alcoholic husband?
get booting
his no good a$$
out
the door
Sounds like you don't have a lot of affection left for him. Is there a reason you think the marriage is NOT over? Because just from that statement, it seems pretty obvious that you should leave. Self centered, unfaithful, and alcoholic could easily develop into abusive, if it hasn't already.
tell him you want a divorce, then do it!
His stuff on the curb. Or yours in a suitcase as you head out the door, whichever works.
LEAVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!! Get counseling to get the strength to leave and to get back your self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. He sure doesn't care about you, nor does he care about honoring you as a partner/wife. Don't sit around hoping he will change. These guys NEVER change. Trust me!
Three strikes...He's out!!!
Leave the dude. Life is tooooo short to put up with such bullsh@t!!!! Nothing is worth getting trampled on. Be strong pack his **** and get him the hell out.
You will be much happier with a guy that will be faithful and love you back. Wouldnt it be a sad life, to live like you dont mean it?
If you love him, give him one more chance to go to marriage counseling. This is probably the only way you can save your marriage. If he is not willing to go or does not change with counseling, I think the best thing to do is to leave. I'm all about second chances, but only if there is a second chance to be had.
Leave. For any of the above reasons, but most especially for the unfaithful and alcholic part. Life's too short for stuff like that.
Lady you need counseling. I mean would it actually be better if he were a caring, faithful, crackhead. He isn't the one with the problem, you are. He have no reasons to leave but you have plenty. So stop blaming all your problems with yourself on him.
one simple word: DIVORCE
put his bags on the curb and don't think you can change him.
why do you need to put up with him? why do you need him? leave him and dont look back!!he is worthless and isnt sober half the time, he wants other women then let him have them and hopefully he might get a a disease and his pecker will fall off, you dont want to catch whatever he is getting. good luck.
I had an unfaithful husband and it tore me up to the point I wanted to die, I loved him so much I fininally made the choice to divorce, I still love him very much you can never change him either live with it or leave let no one make that choice for you please let your heart tell you what is right good luck
just leave, find someone who will treat you like a lady, and move on.
dump his *** divorce him start a new life
Kick him out,and if's a difficult thing to make happen,pack up and leave,get a good lawyer,file for divorce,get your divorce and move on,find yourself in a better life and enjoy it,You deserve it.
Just take a long, hard look at him through your rear-view mirror.
Talk to a professional rehab counselor who can get help for your husband. Believe me, I have much experience in this field.
The alcohol is a response to his own self-hatred and anger and it will come out as misplaced and on you.
You must deal with this, this is the key. All of it is connected, but the professionals will tell you and so will I: The alcohol is never the problem: what makes a person want to drink is.
Being self-centered and unfaithful also spring from this.
Take action, don't wait, don't enable, don't make excuses, don't feel sorry for yourself. Just act.
JeffHow to deal with a self centered, unfaithful and alcoholic husband?
Bye , see you in court .How to deal with a self centered, unfaithful and alcoholic husband?
get booting
his no good a$$
out
the door
Sounds like you don't have a lot of affection left for him. Is there a reason you think the marriage is NOT over? Because just from that statement, it seems pretty obvious that you should leave. Self centered, unfaithful, and alcoholic could easily develop into abusive, if it hasn't already.
tell him you want a divorce, then do it!
His stuff on the curb. Or yours in a suitcase as you head out the door, whichever works.
LEAVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!! Get counseling to get the strength to leave and to get back your self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. He sure doesn't care about you, nor does he care about honoring you as a partner/wife. Don't sit around hoping he will change. These guys NEVER change. Trust me!
Three strikes...He's out!!!
Leave the dude. Life is tooooo short to put up with such bullsh@t!!!! Nothing is worth getting trampled on. Be strong pack his **** and get him the hell out.
You will be much happier with a guy that will be faithful and love you back. Wouldnt it be a sad life, to live like you dont mean it?
If you love him, give him one more chance to go to marriage counseling. This is probably the only way you can save your marriage. If he is not willing to go or does not change with counseling, I think the best thing to do is to leave. I'm all about second chances, but only if there is a second chance to be had.
Leave. For any of the above reasons, but most especially for the unfaithful and alcholic part. Life's too short for stuff like that.
Lady you need counseling. I mean would it actually be better if he were a caring, faithful, crackhead. He isn't the one with the problem, you are. He have no reasons to leave but you have plenty. So stop blaming all your problems with yourself on him.
one simple word: DIVORCE
put his bags on the curb and don't think you can change him.
why do you need to put up with him? why do you need him? leave him and dont look back!!he is worthless and isnt sober half the time, he wants other women then let him have them and hopefully he might get a a disease and his pecker will fall off, you dont want to catch whatever he is getting. good luck.
I had an unfaithful husband and it tore me up to the point I wanted to die, I loved him so much I fininally made the choice to divorce, I still love him very much you can never change him either live with it or leave let no one make that choice for you please let your heart tell you what is right good luck
just leave, find someone who will treat you like a lady, and move on.
dump his *** divorce him start a new life
Kick him out,and if's a difficult thing to make happen,pack up and leave,get a good lawyer,file for divorce,get your divorce and move on,find yourself in a better life and enjoy it,You deserve it.
Just take a long, hard look at him through your rear-view mirror.
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