I feel horrible, but I have to draw a line and dump a good friend who has issues?

I have a good friend - who I really like, but I found out that she was lying to me for months.



About a year ago she got herself involved with a roommate who occupied another room in a flat where she was staying. I have supportively listened to her complain about his drunkenness, self-sabotage, drug usage, depression, and how he has abused and used her --- especially to the tune of at least 2000 bucks in a month (that is what she will admit to - I know there is probably more) as I watched her fall deeper and deeper into codendency with this looser. I was there for tears, anger, advice --- basically I was a good friend --- even though it got tiring sometimes and I felt like she was nuts.



I stood by her side, listened to her complain, helped her find her own apartment so that she could rid herself of this mess and have peace. Two months later ---last week when she got her keys...she started acting funny, avoiding me..... today, the day she is supposed to move in ---- I find out that she is putting me off, because she is bringing HIM to stay with her (rent free) because ';he has no place else to go'; and telling me how she can't just throw him out,etc.....



I am of two minds --- first mind says ';she really wants you as a friend and she lied to you because she is embarrassed and desperate---- be her friend, give her time, she needs support';



the other mind says

';you deserve friends who are honest and authentic. You are a 34 year old adult child of an alcoholic who has dealt with liars and enablers and codependents all your life. She is triggering you. Send her an email and tell her that you understand her decisions but this is too difficult for you. You deserve health and drama free friends.';



I had a feeling all-along that she was just going to bring this guy with her...and I begged her not to do it. She told me that she wouldn't, that she couldn't. .she hung out with me probably 10 times and lied to me to my face. I know she lied to me because she is desperate --I don't really have hurt feelings about that....I am just more disgusted with her choices and lifestyle and I feel like this stuff is triggering serious boundary issues for me......



Advice? What do I tell her?

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I feel horrible, but I have to draw a line and dump a good friend who has issues?
I think you already know the answer, but it tastes of a little guilt and shame. I love the cognitive, you know';you deserve friends who are honest and authentic. etc.



I am a recovering addict of anything and more, and also a adult child of alcoholic. When and if she dumps this guy, there is a good chance she find his clone, it's just who she is for right now. Just let her know that you will be there for her when the lying, manipulating, drama and man addicting has passed. She needs mucho help. Oh, and by the way, you are a good friend and will be a better one if you follow through.I feel horrible, but I have to draw a line and dump a good friend who has issues?
Thats bad... you don't need a friebnd thats not listening to you and avoiding you... thats not what the meaning of 'friend' is.