When I was young, my Mum was an alcoholic. I always worried that I would become like that but never actually thought I would because I use to be against drinking. But now I am an underage alcoholic and can't tell me counselor because, well, I just can't. Should I accept that I've turned into my mum? Or try to stop?How do I deal with this?
You have not turned into you mom.
Please talk to your counselor.. you must if you want to get better.How do I deal with this?
you should try and stop because, if you continue, you will have alot of health problems as a young adult. also if you keep drinking now, you will have a hard time quitting as an adult
There is in fact a genetic marker for alcoholism. That does not mean you have to be an alcoholic it means that you have this tendency therefore will have to work harder to overcome it. You are underage that is young. Young is good it means you will have an easier time stopping. Because you need to stop. I am not preaching I simply know that the longer you drink the harder it is to quit. Cut down gradually, decrease your amount by 1/3 every week. Good luck honey.
You NEED to get help for yourself. You deserve it. Think of what damage you could be doing to your body by remaining an alcoholic. If you don't get help- you will stay like this for the rest of your life, and it will eventually kill you if the addiction becomes bad enough.
You really should tell your counselor about this. if you don;t tell him.her, then you won't get the help you so badly need.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
How can I deal with being an adult child of alcoholics (on my own)? I can't get over it, I really suffer:(
I am not able to trust, to talk...I can't imagine talking to a bunch of people on the meetings...
I am helpless:(How can I deal with being an adult child of alcoholics (on my own)? I can't get over it, I really suffer:(
I understand how you feel.. My father was an alcoholic and recently almost died so now he is recovering. I know it's hard to talk about it. I couldn't go to the Al anon meetings either because I was so afraid. What I did do was start reading on it. Their are several books out there. If your too embarrassed to go to a book store, they are on line. This is the one I recommend : http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1558741鈥?/a>
This book is good. It will explain alot of things, like your trust issues and reasons you act the way you do. I know it's difficult, but seriously I had thought the same things and this book really helped me. Good luck!How can I deal with being an adult child of alcoholics (on my own)? I can't get over it, I really suffer:(
Al-Quran stopped humanity from drinking Alcohol.
1. Prohibition of alcohol in the Qur鈥檃n
The Glorious Qur鈥檃n prohibits the consumption of alcohol in the following verse:
';O ye who believe!
Intoxicants and Gambling,
(Dedication of) stones,
And (divination by) arrows,
Are an Abomination 鈥?
Of Satan handiwork;
Eschew such (abomination),
That ye may prosper.';
[Al-Qur鈥檃n 5:90]
2. Prohibition of alcohol in the Bible
The Bible prohibits the consumption of alcohol in the following verses:
';Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging; and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.';
[Proverbs 20:1]
';And be not drunk with wine.';
[Ephesians 5:18]
Ask your physician to recommend a counselor.
if you are above 18, i'd suggest u move out, find a job %26amp; study at the same time. It's gonna be tough, but it'll be a chance to meet new people, make new freinds and most important of all DO NOT APPROCH ALCOHOL ever in your life, as u can see what it leads to..
Perhaps you seek the private/individual guidance of a sincere and highly trained therapist specialized in treating adult children of alcoholic parents.
Most all medical doctors have a Rolodex for patient recommendations, perhaps you can find such a specialized therapist by asking him.
As a one-time member of Alanon, I can sympathize. I sat there a long time before I could talk in front of a group of people, but if you hang in there, you can get a lot of help. Alanon, Alateen and Alcoholics Anonymous all have support groups for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Call a local AA group to find out when and where ACOAs meet.
Here's how you can get more info:
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA)
Alanon, Alateen, and Alcoholics Anonymous
Alcoholics Anonymous World Service, Inc.
Box 459 Grand Central Station
New York, NY 10163
Or go look at Alanon's web site:
I am helpless:(How can I deal with being an adult child of alcoholics (on my own)? I can't get over it, I really suffer:(
I understand how you feel.. My father was an alcoholic and recently almost died so now he is recovering. I know it's hard to talk about it. I couldn't go to the Al anon meetings either because I was so afraid. What I did do was start reading on it. Their are several books out there. If your too embarrassed to go to a book store, they are on line. This is the one I recommend : http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1558741鈥?/a>
This book is good. It will explain alot of things, like your trust issues and reasons you act the way you do. I know it's difficult, but seriously I had thought the same things and this book really helped me. Good luck!How can I deal with being an adult child of alcoholics (on my own)? I can't get over it, I really suffer:(
Al-Quran stopped humanity from drinking Alcohol.
1. Prohibition of alcohol in the Qur鈥檃n
The Glorious Qur鈥檃n prohibits the consumption of alcohol in the following verse:
';O ye who believe!
Intoxicants and Gambling,
(Dedication of) stones,
And (divination by) arrows,
Are an Abomination 鈥?
Of Satan handiwork;
Eschew such (abomination),
That ye may prosper.';
[Al-Qur鈥檃n 5:90]
2. Prohibition of alcohol in the Bible
The Bible prohibits the consumption of alcohol in the following verses:
';Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging; and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.';
[Proverbs 20:1]
';And be not drunk with wine.';
[Ephesians 5:18]
Ask your physician to recommend a counselor.
if you are above 18, i'd suggest u move out, find a job %26amp; study at the same time. It's gonna be tough, but it'll be a chance to meet new people, make new freinds and most important of all DO NOT APPROCH ALCOHOL ever in your life, as u can see what it leads to..
Perhaps you seek the private/individual guidance of a sincere and highly trained therapist specialized in treating adult children of alcoholic parents.
Most all medical doctors have a Rolodex for patient recommendations, perhaps you can find such a specialized therapist by asking him.
As a one-time member of Alanon, I can sympathize. I sat there a long time before I could talk in front of a group of people, but if you hang in there, you can get a lot of help. Alanon, Alateen and Alcoholics Anonymous all have support groups for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Call a local AA group to find out when and where ACOAs meet.
Here's how you can get more info:
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA)
Alanon, Alateen, and Alcoholics Anonymous
Alcoholics Anonymous World Service, Inc.
Box 459 Grand Central Station
New York, NY 10163
Or go look at Alanon's web site:
How do i tell my mom i don't want to live with her anymore?
i want to live with my dad. he is an alcoholic but i have dealt with that before. i feel so bad since i barely know him and it hurts whenever i see him. he hates me but i still want to know him. i am tired of living with my mom but i love her. i just want to try it with my dad. and plus there is a better school where my dad lives. how do i tell her?How do i tell my mom i don't want to live with her anymore?
exatly the same way you wrote it except more sensitive like this:
Hey mom, i dont know if this is the right time to say this or not but i do know some things about dad isnt right like how i know my dad is an alcoholic but i have dealt with that before and i feel so bad since i barely know him and it hurts whenever i see him. And i know he kind of hates me but i still want to get to know him. So what im trying to say is that I want to live with dad.And there is a better school there. Dont think that i dont love you anymore or that i hate living with you i just think that im old enough to get to know my dad a little better.
so...
HOPE THIS HELPS !!!GOOD LUCKHow do i tell my mom i don't want to live with her anymore?
just say..mom..i really miss dad and i want to try to live with him for a while.
Tell your mom you want to spend the summer with your dad. That way you can finish the school year where you are and won't have to worry about instantly fitting in at the new school. Then if things go good with your dad for the summer you can start school there next fall, and by then you will have some friends in the neighborhood who will help you get to know everybody at the new school.
Just remember that drunk men sometimes do things they shouldn't do and be careful. Always have a plan to get out fast if you have to.
Best wishes and may God bless you.
exatly the same way you wrote it except more sensitive like this:
Hey mom, i dont know if this is the right time to say this or not but i do know some things about dad isnt right like how i know my dad is an alcoholic but i have dealt with that before and i feel so bad since i barely know him and it hurts whenever i see him. And i know he kind of hates me but i still want to get to know him. So what im trying to say is that I want to live with dad.And there is a better school there. Dont think that i dont love you anymore or that i hate living with you i just think that im old enough to get to know my dad a little better.
so...
HOPE THIS HELPS !!!GOOD LUCKHow do i tell my mom i don't want to live with her anymore?
just say..mom..i really miss dad and i want to try to live with him for a while.
Tell your mom you want to spend the summer with your dad. That way you can finish the school year where you are and won't have to worry about instantly fitting in at the new school. Then if things go good with your dad for the summer you can start school there next fall, and by then you will have some friends in the neighborhood who will help you get to know everybody at the new school.
Just remember that drunk men sometimes do things they shouldn't do and be careful. Always have a plan to get out fast if you have to.
Best wishes and may God bless you.
Has anyone else had an alcoholic parent?
How did you deal with it? I've lived with my mom forever, and I can't take it anymore that she is an alcoholic. Every night she sits back with a bottle of wine and gets trashed. I'm ready to move on with my life, but the thing is I'm worried about how she will be without me. I'm going into the Military so I'm going to be moving out soon.
Any advise would be great.Has anyone else had an alcoholic parent?
My mother was I moved away to go to college she did fine without me, she had her bottle and t.v. We tried helping her to no avail, you can only help a person for so long, some don't want help. Sorry you are going through this.Has anyone else had an alcoholic parent?
OK well there is a reason why she is drinking and getting trashed. Find out why and maybe you can help. furtheremore, you should def talk about it with someone and dont hold in your emotions. also, know that its not your fault for real. haha also avoid arguing with her. when she isnt drunk consider talking to her about how it makes you feel. and when she is drunk and is yelling at you, keep your cool. Lastly, dont let it get to you where it feels like your in an empty room and your being pushed into a corner. Good luck in the military for real, thanks.
1) Al-anon will teach you loads.
2) military: bad choice. You need real life to overcome the damage she's done to you.chicken enchilada recipe
Any advise would be great.Has anyone else had an alcoholic parent?
My mother was I moved away to go to college she did fine without me, she had her bottle and t.v. We tried helping her to no avail, you can only help a person for so long, some don't want help. Sorry you are going through this.Has anyone else had an alcoholic parent?
OK well there is a reason why she is drinking and getting trashed. Find out why and maybe you can help. furtheremore, you should def talk about it with someone and dont hold in your emotions. also, know that its not your fault for real. haha also avoid arguing with her. when she isnt drunk consider talking to her about how it makes you feel. and when she is drunk and is yelling at you, keep your cool. Lastly, dont let it get to you where it feels like your in an empty room and your being pushed into a corner. Good luck in the military for real, thanks.
1) Al-anon will teach you loads.
2) military: bad choice. You need real life to overcome the damage she's done to you.
I think I have to dump my friend --- please advise....?
I have a good friend - who I really like, but I found out that she was lying to me for months.
About a year ago she got herself involved with a roommate who occupied another room in a flat where she was staying. I have supportively listened to her complain about his drunkenness, self-sabotage, drug usage, depression, and how he has abused and used her --- especially to the tune of at least 2000 bucks in a month (that is what she will admit to - I know there is probably more) as I watched her fall deeper and deeper into codendency with this looser. I was there for tears, anger, advice --- basically I was a good friend --- even though it got tiring sometimes and I felt like she was nuts.
I stood by her side, listened to her complain, helped her find her own apartment so that she could rid herself of this mess and have peace. Two months later ---last week when she got her keys...she started acting funny, avoiding me..... today, the day she is supposed to move in ---- I find out that she is putting me off, because she is bringing HIM to stay with her (rent free) because ';he has no place else to go'; and telling me how she can't just throw him out,etc.....
I am of two minds --- first mind says ';she really wants you as a friend and she lied to you because she is embarrassed and desperate---- be her friend, give her time, she needs support';
the other mind says
';you deserve friends who are honest and authentic. You are a 34 year old adult child of an alcoholic who has dealt with liars and enablers and codependents all your life. She is triggering you. Send her an email and tell her that you understand her decisions but this is too difficult for you. You deserve health and drama free friends.';
I had a feeling all-along that she was just going to bring this guy with her...and I begged her not to do it. She told me that she wouldn't, that she couldn't. .she hung out with me probably 10 times and lied to me to my face. I know she lied to me because she is desperate --I don't really have hurt feelings about that....I am just more disgusted with her choices and lifestyle and I feel like this stuff is triggering serious boundary issues for me......
Advice? What do I tell her?
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I think I have to dump my friend --- please advise....?
Listen to you 'other mind' and break this cycle. for your sanity you have to keep your distance from this. you dont have to be mean, mad, or rude to her. just make it plain that you deserve friends who wont use and lie to you. YOU DONT DESERVE FRIENDS WHO USE OR LIE TO YOU. You deserve healthy relationships. give this friend time find this for herself as well.I think I have to dump my friend --- please advise....?
If i were you i would stay her friend. Its her dumb decision not yours. She'll regret it one day.
answer mine please:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
About a year ago she got herself involved with a roommate who occupied another room in a flat where she was staying. I have supportively listened to her complain about his drunkenness, self-sabotage, drug usage, depression, and how he has abused and used her --- especially to the tune of at least 2000 bucks in a month (that is what she will admit to - I know there is probably more) as I watched her fall deeper and deeper into codendency with this looser. I was there for tears, anger, advice --- basically I was a good friend --- even though it got tiring sometimes and I felt like she was nuts.
I stood by her side, listened to her complain, helped her find her own apartment so that she could rid herself of this mess and have peace. Two months later ---last week when she got her keys...she started acting funny, avoiding me..... today, the day she is supposed to move in ---- I find out that she is putting me off, because she is bringing HIM to stay with her (rent free) because ';he has no place else to go'; and telling me how she can't just throw him out,etc.....
I am of two minds --- first mind says ';she really wants you as a friend and she lied to you because she is embarrassed and desperate---- be her friend, give her time, she needs support';
the other mind says
';you deserve friends who are honest and authentic. You are a 34 year old adult child of an alcoholic who has dealt with liars and enablers and codependents all your life. She is triggering you. Send her an email and tell her that you understand her decisions but this is too difficult for you. You deserve health and drama free friends.';
I had a feeling all-along that she was just going to bring this guy with her...and I begged her not to do it. She told me that she wouldn't, that she couldn't. .she hung out with me probably 10 times and lied to me to my face. I know she lied to me because she is desperate --I don't really have hurt feelings about that....I am just more disgusted with her choices and lifestyle and I feel like this stuff is triggering serious boundary issues for me......
Advice? What do I tell her?
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I think I have to dump my friend --- please advise....?
Listen to you 'other mind' and break this cycle. for your sanity you have to keep your distance from this. you dont have to be mean, mad, or rude to her. just make it plain that you deserve friends who wont use and lie to you. YOU DONT DESERVE FRIENDS WHO USE OR LIE TO YOU. You deserve healthy relationships. give this friend time find this for herself as well.I think I have to dump my friend --- please advise....?
If i were you i would stay her friend. Its her dumb decision not yours. She'll regret it one day.
answer mine please:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
I am 35 weeks pregnant and my husband has been put into a mental institution. Is there hope?
My husband used to be a real sweetie when I met him three years ago, but little by little all these things came out into the open. First, I found out that he was an alcoholic, then after dealing with that, it is though enough on its own, because he behaves totally erratic when he drinks. He cannot handle stress one bit. He is a medical resident and has already been kicked out of his first residency program. Back in March, when this happened, he completely lost it and went driving under the influence of Ambien and Vodka and got into two car accidents. He tried to jump out a window and smashed his head through a windshield. To top it off, he started screaming at me at target and take fun of me because I was constipated in front of a whole bunch of customers. All this while I was pregnant. He was on bipolar medication since March, but none of it worked and today he went off the deep end again collapsed after driving under the influence of who knows what and was put back into the mental institution. They are not quite sure if he truly is bipolar, because he pretty much only has the characteristics when he is under the influence of something. He just cannot handle stress at all. He said that he was not happy about the baby because he is not even sure how he will support her since he might not have a job anymore. All of this is causing so much distress to me. I had ZERO support from him throughout this pregnancy. I feel so lonely and hopeless and have done so much to better his situation but he is back on square on. Can he be helped?I am 35 weeks pregnant and my husband has been put into a mental institution. Is there hope?
Seek the wisdom of Robby the Sheath. He might be able to help, but you are in a pickle.I am 35 weeks pregnant and my husband has been put into a mental institution. Is there hope?
There is only hope. But honestly if this has been happening the whole time you've been with him, I wouldnt trust him with my children, especially in a car, and at a BBQ party, or even better yet treating me at the hospital!!
I would leave, live with your parents or what have you...at least until he's clean and a calm mature adult.
He needs three things to happen.
To find God.
To stay on his meds.
To quit drinking.
He will need all three to have any sucessful relationships.
God luck %26amp; God bless
you knew all of this and still stayed? and now you are having his child?
I do not feel 1 bit sorry for you... you knew he was crazy... and you still decided to stay and conceive a child who will probably be bi polar as well.. its genetic... now the child is going to suffer!
This is what happens when you are caught up in the moment, or needy!
Focus on your child... you or your Boyfriend don't matter anymore.. only the well being of that baby!
you need to stay away from him, at least until he's better. it is not healthy for you or your baby. maybe he needs to go to rehab for drug and alcohol addictions. live with your parents for a while, or maybe a trustworthy and responsible friend just in case he tries to harm you or your child when he is ';under the influence.';
Whether or not he can be helped is irrelevant. It's not your job to help him, nor are you qualified. Just about any one thing he has done since you've known him (that you mentioned in your question) is enough to motivate any normal person to GET OUT. This is what I call the ';Oprah Situation.'; It's usually females facing a ridiculous man, wondering how they can save the relationship. When you see another girl doing what you are now doing, it's easy for you to realize the folly in the situation. I can hear you now- 'girl, you gotta get OUT!'
Well, we're all outside looking in, and we're not tied up emotionally with this freakin IDIOT. Leave this man. NOW. Once he's fixed, great. Let him prove it, then you can start back over at the beginning. Anything else will fail- it's classic emotional baggage. Just the fact that you have to ask the question proves it.
People don't come here to vent, or to get that nice, understanding pat on the back from girlfriends saying, 'girl, I know how you feel.' Not here. We're giving you truth. Hard answers. Use them to give yourself resolve and do what you have to do. You lived your whole freakin life without this man in it. How is it you can't seem to do it now?
You do need to get counseling for yourself as this is a mental and physical drain especially in your condition. Also try to find support groups whether on-line or through the Behavioral Health Dept in your area. I will list some sites to check out. Do not isolate yourself as that can make the mental stress of what you are going through worse. Don't worry about him he is where he should be, you have to concentrate on you and the baby now. Good luck and God Bless!
Im sorry you are going through all of this but the best thing you can do is remember its NOT YOUR FAULT. He is an adult and he makes bad choices. He may be bipolar and all and there is help but he has to want it first of all. Bipolar's are very impulsive and have highs and lows. Never a middle ground and he seems to have very poor coping skills and seems to be self medicating himself with alcohol. He needs to stay on his mood stabilizer and see a psychiatrist regularly to monitor how he is doing. Those meds wont help if he doesnt take them everyday for one either, so that may be your problem. There is a simple blood test to check and see if the level is therapeutic. Then the alcohol and the ambien which is also a downer, seems to me he is self medicating his problems and not dealing with them. He needs a lot of work and you have to tell him that he must get help and stick with it or else its over. If you stay with him and he continues to do this to not only the two of you but your baby to be.
Sit him down and tell him that he cant do this no more or you are leaving.
Just remember though, are you willing to put up with this. He will continue to have the same problems if he doesnt want to change and sadly it will bring you down.
Go get counseling for yourself and you should really consider if this is really what you want for you and your baby.
Im sorrry but this is a double sword here and seriously...he has to want help and want to stay clean.
Sometimes hitting bottom and losing everything (his family) is a wake up call but not always.
I wish you luck with him but take care of yourself no matter what the cost.
Seek the wisdom of Robby the Sheath. He might be able to help, but you are in a pickle.I am 35 weeks pregnant and my husband has been put into a mental institution. Is there hope?
There is only hope. But honestly if this has been happening the whole time you've been with him, I wouldnt trust him with my children, especially in a car, and at a BBQ party, or even better yet treating me at the hospital!!
I would leave, live with your parents or what have you...at least until he's clean and a calm mature adult.
He needs three things to happen.
To find God.
To stay on his meds.
To quit drinking.
He will need all three to have any sucessful relationships.
God luck %26amp; God bless
you knew all of this and still stayed? and now you are having his child?
I do not feel 1 bit sorry for you... you knew he was crazy... and you still decided to stay and conceive a child who will probably be bi polar as well.. its genetic... now the child is going to suffer!
This is what happens when you are caught up in the moment, or needy!
Focus on your child... you or your Boyfriend don't matter anymore.. only the well being of that baby!
you need to stay away from him, at least until he's better. it is not healthy for you or your baby. maybe he needs to go to rehab for drug and alcohol addictions. live with your parents for a while, or maybe a trustworthy and responsible friend just in case he tries to harm you or your child when he is ';under the influence.';
Whether or not he can be helped is irrelevant. It's not your job to help him, nor are you qualified. Just about any one thing he has done since you've known him (that you mentioned in your question) is enough to motivate any normal person to GET OUT. This is what I call the ';Oprah Situation.'; It's usually females facing a ridiculous man, wondering how they can save the relationship. When you see another girl doing what you are now doing, it's easy for you to realize the folly in the situation. I can hear you now- 'girl, you gotta get OUT!'
Well, we're all outside looking in, and we're not tied up emotionally with this freakin IDIOT. Leave this man. NOW. Once he's fixed, great. Let him prove it, then you can start back over at the beginning. Anything else will fail- it's classic emotional baggage. Just the fact that you have to ask the question proves it.
People don't come here to vent, or to get that nice, understanding pat on the back from girlfriends saying, 'girl, I know how you feel.' Not here. We're giving you truth. Hard answers. Use them to give yourself resolve and do what you have to do. You lived your whole freakin life without this man in it. How is it you can't seem to do it now?
You do need to get counseling for yourself as this is a mental and physical drain especially in your condition. Also try to find support groups whether on-line or through the Behavioral Health Dept in your area. I will list some sites to check out. Do not isolate yourself as that can make the mental stress of what you are going through worse. Don't worry about him he is where he should be, you have to concentrate on you and the baby now. Good luck and God Bless!
Im sorry you are going through all of this but the best thing you can do is remember its NOT YOUR FAULT. He is an adult and he makes bad choices. He may be bipolar and all and there is help but he has to want it first of all. Bipolar's are very impulsive and have highs and lows. Never a middle ground and he seems to have very poor coping skills and seems to be self medicating himself with alcohol. He needs to stay on his mood stabilizer and see a psychiatrist regularly to monitor how he is doing. Those meds wont help if he doesnt take them everyday for one either, so that may be your problem. There is a simple blood test to check and see if the level is therapeutic. Then the alcohol and the ambien which is also a downer, seems to me he is self medicating his problems and not dealing with them. He needs a lot of work and you have to tell him that he must get help and stick with it or else its over. If you stay with him and he continues to do this to not only the two of you but your baby to be.
Sit him down and tell him that he cant do this no more or you are leaving.
Just remember though, are you willing to put up with this. He will continue to have the same problems if he doesnt want to change and sadly it will bring you down.
Go get counseling for yourself and you should really consider if this is really what you want for you and your baby.
Im sorrry but this is a double sword here and seriously...he has to want help and want to stay clean.
Sometimes hitting bottom and losing everything (his family) is a wake up call but not always.
I wish you luck with him but take care of yourself no matter what the cost.
I feel horrible, but I have to draw a line and dump a good friend who has issues?
I have a good friend - who I really like, but I found out that she was lying to me for months.
About a year ago she got herself involved with a roommate who occupied another room in a flat where she was staying. I have supportively listened to her complain about his drunkenness, self-sabotage, drug usage, depression, and how he has abused and used her --- especially to the tune of at least 2000 bucks in a month (that is what she will admit to - I know there is probably more) as I watched her fall deeper and deeper into codendency with this looser. I was there for tears, anger, advice --- basically I was a good friend --- even though it got tiring sometimes and I felt like she was nuts.
I stood by her side, listened to her complain, helped her find her own apartment so that she could rid herself of this mess and have peace. Two months later ---last week when she got her keys...she started acting funny, avoiding me..... today, the day she is supposed to move in ---- I find out that she is putting me off, because she is bringing HIM to stay with her (rent free) because ';he has no place else to go'; and telling me how she can't just throw him out,etc.....
I am of two minds --- first mind says ';she really wants you as a friend and she lied to you because she is embarrassed and desperate---- be her friend, give her time, she needs support';
the other mind says
';you deserve friends who are honest and authentic. You are a 34 year old adult child of an alcoholic who has dealt with liars and enablers and codependents all your life. She is triggering you. Send her an email and tell her that you understand her decisions but this is too difficult for you. You deserve health and drama free friends.';
I had a feeling all-along that she was just going to bring this guy with her...and I begged her not to do it. She told me that she wouldn't, that she couldn't. .she hung out with me probably 10 times and lied to me to my face. I know she lied to me because she is desperate --I don't really have hurt feelings about that....I am just more disgusted with her choices and lifestyle and I feel like this stuff is triggering serious boundary issues for me......
Advice? What do I tell her?
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I feel horrible, but I have to draw a line and dump a good friend who has issues?
I think you already know the answer, but it tastes of a little guilt and shame. I love the cognitive, you know';you deserve friends who are honest and authentic. etc.
I am a recovering addict of anything and more, and also a adult child of alcoholic. When and if she dumps this guy, there is a good chance she find his clone, it's just who she is for right now. Just let her know that you will be there for her when the lying, manipulating, drama and man addicting has passed. She needs mucho help. Oh, and by the way, you are a good friend and will be a better one if you follow through.I feel horrible, but I have to draw a line and dump a good friend who has issues?
Thats bad... you don't need a friebnd thats not listening to you and avoiding you... thats not what the meaning of 'friend' is.
About a year ago she got herself involved with a roommate who occupied another room in a flat where she was staying. I have supportively listened to her complain about his drunkenness, self-sabotage, drug usage, depression, and how he has abused and used her --- especially to the tune of at least 2000 bucks in a month (that is what she will admit to - I know there is probably more) as I watched her fall deeper and deeper into codendency with this looser. I was there for tears, anger, advice --- basically I was a good friend --- even though it got tiring sometimes and I felt like she was nuts.
I stood by her side, listened to her complain, helped her find her own apartment so that she could rid herself of this mess and have peace. Two months later ---last week when she got her keys...she started acting funny, avoiding me..... today, the day she is supposed to move in ---- I find out that she is putting me off, because she is bringing HIM to stay with her (rent free) because ';he has no place else to go'; and telling me how she can't just throw him out,etc.....
I am of two minds --- first mind says ';she really wants you as a friend and she lied to you because she is embarrassed and desperate---- be her friend, give her time, she needs support';
the other mind says
';you deserve friends who are honest and authentic. You are a 34 year old adult child of an alcoholic who has dealt with liars and enablers and codependents all your life. She is triggering you. Send her an email and tell her that you understand her decisions but this is too difficult for you. You deserve health and drama free friends.';
I had a feeling all-along that she was just going to bring this guy with her...and I begged her not to do it. She told me that she wouldn't, that she couldn't. .she hung out with me probably 10 times and lied to me to my face. I know she lied to me because she is desperate --I don't really have hurt feelings about that....I am just more disgusted with her choices and lifestyle and I feel like this stuff is triggering serious boundary issues for me......
Advice? What do I tell her?
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I feel horrible, but I have to draw a line and dump a good friend who has issues?
I think you already know the answer, but it tastes of a little guilt and shame. I love the cognitive, you know';you deserve friends who are honest and authentic. etc.
I am a recovering addict of anything and more, and also a adult child of alcoholic. When and if she dumps this guy, there is a good chance she find his clone, it's just who she is for right now. Just let her know that you will be there for her when the lying, manipulating, drama and man addicting has passed. She needs mucho help. Oh, and by the way, you are a good friend and will be a better one if you follow through.I feel horrible, but I have to draw a line and dump a good friend who has issues?
Thats bad... you don't need a friebnd thats not listening to you and avoiding you... thats not what the meaning of 'friend' is.
I am 35 weeks pregnant and my husband has been put into a mental institution. Is there hope?
My husband used to be a real sweetie when I met him three years ago, but little by little all these things came out into the open. First, I found out that he was an alcoholic, then after dealing with that, it is though enough on its own, because he behaves totally erratic when he drinks. He cannot handle stress one bit. He is a medical resident and has already been kicked out of his first residency program. Back in March, when this happened, he completely lost it and went driving under the influence of Ambien and Vodka and got into two car accidents. He tried to jump out a window and smashed his head through a windshield. To top it off, he started screaming at me at target and take fun of me because I was constipated in front of a whole bunch of customers. All this while I was pregnant. He was on bipolar medication since March, but none of it worked and today he went off the deep end again collapsed after driving under the influence of who knows what and was put back into the mental institution. They are not quite sure if he truly is bipolar, because he pretty much only has the characteristics when he is under the influence of something. He just cannot handle stress at all. He said that he was not happy about the baby because he is not even sure how he will support her since he might not have a job anymore. All of this is causing so much distress to me. I had ZERO support from him throughout this pregnancy. I feel so lonely and hopeless and have done so much to better his situation but he is back on square on. Can he be helped?I am 35 weeks pregnant and my husband has been put into a mental institution. Is there hope?
Please understand that you cannot count on him for anything. Let him work his program try to help when he can, but you must take care of yourself and your baby. You cannot do that while you are taking care of him too. Go to alanon at least every week for the next year. Join Nami and attend their family to family program to learn about bipolar illness and dual diagnosis. Life is hard, but you can make it. Unfortunately, your child has about a 25 to 60% chance of growing up to have similar problems as your husband. But fortunately there is a 40 to 75% chance the child will not have those issues. Good luck to you. You will be alright if you are not afraid to accept help from people.I am 35 weeks pregnant and my husband has been put into a mental institution. Is there hope?
its sad some one is ill but i believe if he does what the dr. says he should be ok and a lot of praying
Time to get on a bus and start a new life somewhere else.
Happened to my dad, he is back and all is good.
Forget about him like you said he is now in the institution. Right now you should be trying to make sure you and the baby are ok. If you are sad it will have ill effects on you and the baby after it is born. i am not saying that you should totally forget about him but I would try to make her have a safe home.
Please understand that you cannot count on him for anything. Let him work his program try to help when he can, but you must take care of yourself and your baby. You cannot do that while you are taking care of him too. Go to alanon at least every week for the next year. Join Nami and attend their family to family program to learn about bipolar illness and dual diagnosis. Life is hard, but you can make it. Unfortunately, your child has about a 25 to 60% chance of growing up to have similar problems as your husband. But fortunately there is a 40 to 75% chance the child will not have those issues. Good luck to you. You will be alright if you are not afraid to accept help from people.I am 35 weeks pregnant and my husband has been put into a mental institution. Is there hope?
its sad some one is ill but i believe if he does what the dr. says he should be ok and a lot of praying
Time to get on a bus and start a new life somewhere else.
Happened to my dad, he is back and all is good.
Forget about him like you said he is now in the institution. Right now you should be trying to make sure you and the baby are ok. If you are sad it will have ill effects on you and the baby after it is born. i am not saying that you should totally forget about him but I would try to make her have a safe home.
Help???? i don't know how????
my best friend is a great mom to her 6,2,and 4 month old... well the problem is the father of the 4 month old they are together and she has some mood swing but it is tolerable... well he up and leaves and doesn't call for days and he doesn't call to check up on the baby either while he is gone... she has some mental issues she is a bipolar manaic and she has severe anxiety... the problem is that her doctor hasn't got her on the right meds he keeps switching her well the thing is her main thing is that before she had the baby she was a real bad alcoholic...so she deals with that to...but the question is how do i help her out??? im here for her and that and i help her out as much as i can, when she don't feel good i take care of her infant... but i want to help more but i don't know what to do?????Help???? i don't know how????
You sound like a good friend. Take your friend to another doctor, because a doctor shouldnt be switching meds like that with his patient. Talk to your friend about the guy, if she doesnt want to be with him, tell her to take him to court so he could pay for child support. You just being there helping here out is great help. Just be there for her in her time of need.Help???? i don't know how????
go over and check on her and maybe stay a few nights over to make sure the kids and her are ok
Unless you can help her get to the doctor for her appointments, it sounds like your doing a lot for her. She needs to seek and receive the help she needs from a professional. Keep being there for her, and keep being a good friend. Just having someone to talk to that she can trust will be more help then you'll ever know.
Talk to her about her meds and help her understand she needs to be firm with her dr. Even go with her, if you need to. As far as the man goes, help her realize he is not worth the trouble. If you think she is going on a manic, see if she will let you have the kids and maybe even invite her to stay with you a couple of days. I hope this helps.
Be as supportive to her as possible, makes sure she takes her meds and keeps her appointments. She needs to tell her doctor that the meds aren't right as soon as possible but keep doing what your are doing it helps.a run games laptop excel
You sound like a good friend. Take your friend to another doctor, because a doctor shouldnt be switching meds like that with his patient. Talk to your friend about the guy, if she doesnt want to be with him, tell her to take him to court so he could pay for child support. You just being there helping here out is great help. Just be there for her in her time of need.Help???? i don't know how????
go over and check on her and maybe stay a few nights over to make sure the kids and her are ok
Unless you can help her get to the doctor for her appointments, it sounds like your doing a lot for her. She needs to seek and receive the help she needs from a professional. Keep being there for her, and keep being a good friend. Just having someone to talk to that she can trust will be more help then you'll ever know.
Talk to her about her meds and help her understand she needs to be firm with her dr. Even go with her, if you need to. As far as the man goes, help her realize he is not worth the trouble. If you think she is going on a manic, see if she will let you have the kids and maybe even invite her to stay with you a couple of days. I hope this helps.
Be as supportive to her as possible, makes sure she takes her meds and keeps her appointments. She needs to tell her doctor that the meds aren't right as soon as possible but keep doing what your are doing it helps.
How does your body deal with too much alcohol?
According to most of the websites I've read, your body can process 1 unit of alcohol per hour. Many alcoholics report drinking more than a litre of spirits a day, that would be about 40 units. So what happens to the 16 units that your body apparently can't process?How does your body deal with too much alcohol?
You throw it up.How does your body deal with too much alcohol?
u throw it up or pee it out
Heavy drinkers develop an ';alternative'; metabolism pathway known a M.E.O.S. Or ';Microsomal Ethanol Oxidizing System';. This form of alcohol metabolism is not healthy and is the reason why light drinking is good for you, while heavy drinking is bad for you.
M.E.O.S creates a lot of free radicals including acetaldehyde, faster than your body can process them. NAC or N-Acetyl Cysteine, available in most vitamin shops or on line can help your body deal with these free radicals (and also prevent hangovers quite well). There is also a supplement called PPC, a polyunsaturated lecithin that can ';down regulate'; M.E.O.S, and protect your liver from alcoholic damage.
You throw it up.How does your body deal with too much alcohol?
u throw it up or pee it out
Heavy drinkers develop an ';alternative'; metabolism pathway known a M.E.O.S. Or ';Microsomal Ethanol Oxidizing System';. This form of alcohol metabolism is not healthy and is the reason why light drinking is good for you, while heavy drinking is bad for you.
M.E.O.S creates a lot of free radicals including acetaldehyde, faster than your body can process them. NAC or N-Acetyl Cysteine, available in most vitamin shops or on line can help your body deal with these free radicals (and also prevent hangovers quite well). There is also a supplement called PPC, a polyunsaturated lecithin that can ';down regulate'; M.E.O.S, and protect your liver from alcoholic damage.
My father is dieing how do i deal with the stress?
He is 40 years old and has been an alcoholic for more then 25 he does cocaine and has been to jail more than 98 times. (please be respectful i am not wanting rude answers i just need help thank you)My father is dieing how do i deal with the stress?
Mine died a week before my sixteenth B-day.
Be with family and friends as much as you can, but only the ones that really care for you. Maybe go out in a field or big parking lot, and scream at God or whatever you call him.
It never really gets a whole lot easier, but after a while you won't be thinking about it all the time anymore.
Try to help the others around you, the ones that are going through the same things you are trying to deal with, as it will distract you from your own pain somewhat, and years later you'll be glad you were there for them.
Sorry about all you are going through.My father is dieing how do i deal with the stress?
well i was 13 when my father died. He died of liver failure due to the lack of alochol he consumed everyday. I thought that the world would be over after he was gone, but after at least 2 years things started getting better. Just spend as much time as you can with him. Tell him you love him no matter what he dose.
Im so sorry.
Very sorry to hear that Kaitlyn. I would think now would be a time to just be with him %26amp; love him. Try your best to reconcile any past hurts etc with him %26amp; make the most of the time you have together. Do things that he enjoys. Tell him you love him.
If you have faith, pray for him. If by chance you both have faith %26amp; he is open to it, pray together - with him.
For those that believe, death is not the end. I'll pray for both of you anyway darl. God Bless.
I'm really sorry :[
You can get a therapist. They're really very helpful. I've been seeing one for over 4 years and they really help you through whatever problems you may have, and even when you're problems are over, they're good to talk to. I would really recommend getting one.
You could try something physical. If you're angry, you can go into Kickboxing or Jujitsu. If you're frustrated, you can try yoga. Find something to exert those passionate negative emotions physically.
Some advice - DO NOT RESORT TO ALCOHOL. Your father was an alcoholic, that is a KEY SIGN that you do not want to resort to alcohol because chances are that easy addiction runs in your family, and you may become one, too. This also rules out any other drugs, or cigarettes, anything you can get addicted to.
Good luck.
So sorry about whats happening in your life :(
Anyways,the best way to deal with this is by spending as much time with your father ,even if it hurts when he's passed away,you'd regret it if you didn't.Tell him you love him ,keep hoping for the best ,he might get through this.
Afterwards ,im sorry ,if he passes away ...
Try to keep yourself together ,he'd want you to be happy ,If you feel like crying ,cry it all out .Be with friends who will support you ,just keep yourself distracted until you move on .
Remember : be happy
And everything will be fine
There are some good answers here, so I'll just add a suggestion. Write! Keep a pad of paper/notebook with you and write whatever is in your mind. People will try to tell you they know how you feel, but you are the only one walking in your shoes. You will not get rid of stress, but writing may be one of several sources that can help you deal with it.
Mine died a week before my sixteenth B-day.
Be with family and friends as much as you can, but only the ones that really care for you. Maybe go out in a field or big parking lot, and scream at God or whatever you call him.
It never really gets a whole lot easier, but after a while you won't be thinking about it all the time anymore.
Try to help the others around you, the ones that are going through the same things you are trying to deal with, as it will distract you from your own pain somewhat, and years later you'll be glad you were there for them.
Sorry about all you are going through.My father is dieing how do i deal with the stress?
well i was 13 when my father died. He died of liver failure due to the lack of alochol he consumed everyday. I thought that the world would be over after he was gone, but after at least 2 years things started getting better. Just spend as much time as you can with him. Tell him you love him no matter what he dose.
Im so sorry.
Very sorry to hear that Kaitlyn. I would think now would be a time to just be with him %26amp; love him. Try your best to reconcile any past hurts etc with him %26amp; make the most of the time you have together. Do things that he enjoys. Tell him you love him.
If you have faith, pray for him. If by chance you both have faith %26amp; he is open to it, pray together - with him.
For those that believe, death is not the end. I'll pray for both of you anyway darl. God Bless.
I'm really sorry :[
You can get a therapist. They're really very helpful. I've been seeing one for over 4 years and they really help you through whatever problems you may have, and even when you're problems are over, they're good to talk to. I would really recommend getting one.
You could try something physical. If you're angry, you can go into Kickboxing or Jujitsu. If you're frustrated, you can try yoga. Find something to exert those passionate negative emotions physically.
Some advice - DO NOT RESORT TO ALCOHOL. Your father was an alcoholic, that is a KEY SIGN that you do not want to resort to alcohol because chances are that easy addiction runs in your family, and you may become one, too. This also rules out any other drugs, or cigarettes, anything you can get addicted to.
Good luck.
So sorry about whats happening in your life :(
Anyways,the best way to deal with this is by spending as much time with your father ,even if it hurts when he's passed away,you'd regret it if you didn't.Tell him you love him ,keep hoping for the best ,he might get through this.
Afterwards ,im sorry ,if he passes away ...
Try to keep yourself together ,he'd want you to be happy ,If you feel like crying ,cry it all out .Be with friends who will support you ,just keep yourself distracted until you move on .
Remember : be happy
And everything will be fine
There are some good answers here, so I'll just add a suggestion. Write! Keep a pad of paper/notebook with you and write whatever is in your mind. People will try to tell you they know how you feel, but you are the only one walking in your shoes. You will not get rid of stress, but writing may be one of several sources that can help you deal with it.
How to deal with someone?
Who is alcoholic....Run from him/her or try to help ?
I see many young people who are most time drank....That is sad....But many of them don t want to someone (me or anybody else) talk to them how is bad their condition and how they must stop drinking because they can have some diseases and be aggressive when they don t have money or someone don t give them a drink....
How to help that young man s and woman s to take them out from that kind of life - circle ...
I know many countries have a low - don t give younger of 21 to buy a drink....But I see here in neighborhood how a causer sell beer to kids who have 14 years (only) and when journalist ask her why her do that,she say :';He look older.I think he have 18 years';.....Don t ask for some ID card......How to deal with someone?
You can't help anyone who doesn't want to help themselves first.How to deal with someone?
I'm not sure what I'd do... I'm pretty sure I'd run or hide becausee I'm terrible at dealing with problems like this. I love to see people helped when they have such a serious problem, but I virtually cannot do anything to help them. Saying ';Don't drink that!'; to a complete stranger is not going to help them anymore than talking to your Dog when he eats grass. I wish there was more I could do to help, but I'm too stupid to do anything. It's a thing of beauty that I am 15 (Almost 16) And I haven't been tempted or convinced to try Smoking or Alcohol. I guess it's becaus e my parents are wonderful people without problems like that. To answer your question more fully I'd say: If you can, try to help. Help is such a beautiful thing,but it must be handled with care; it is possible to make things worse when you only try to help.
the only way an acholic is going to stop is himself u can't make him stop.but don't encorage it and tell him that it would be benificial to stop.
In fact , if u want to stop the alcoholic , u have to make group of non alcoholic person and have to come on the plateform of social justice, then ur group make the request with the government for prohibition of alcohol.
u know in some countries, use of alcohol is completely prohibited and given imprisonment and even death sentence if any person violates.
secondly, if it is not possible , govt . atleast ban on intoxictated person to go to any public place. okey, I have many more to tell u in this connection as a Advisor. But in nutshell it is enough yet
they have to want to be helped first u cant tell them they have a problem %26amp; say go get help. U have to b supportive of them %26amp; maybe make small remarks how u r worried about them, eventually they should c it too. then they will want help. Both my mom %26amp; husband have issues w/ drinking. my mom is in AA %26amp; my husband came to the conclusion all on his own %26amp; hasn't needed AA, just my support %26amp; love.
You have the weight of the world on your shoulders.They have to help themselves
People who drink lack in faith, esteem. self respect the consequence is that, they can only see their future as far as the bottom of their beer can. You can't help them, forget them, they are a lost cause.
I see many young people who are most time drank....That is sad....But many of them don t want to someone (me or anybody else) talk to them how is bad their condition and how they must stop drinking because they can have some diseases and be aggressive when they don t have money or someone don t give them a drink....
How to help that young man s and woman s to take them out from that kind of life - circle ...
I know many countries have a low - don t give younger of 21 to buy a drink....But I see here in neighborhood how a causer sell beer to kids who have 14 years (only) and when journalist ask her why her do that,she say :';He look older.I think he have 18 years';.....Don t ask for some ID card......How to deal with someone?
You can't help anyone who doesn't want to help themselves first.How to deal with someone?
I'm not sure what I'd do... I'm pretty sure I'd run or hide becausee I'm terrible at dealing with problems like this. I love to see people helped when they have such a serious problem, but I virtually cannot do anything to help them. Saying ';Don't drink that!'; to a complete stranger is not going to help them anymore than talking to your Dog when he eats grass. I wish there was more I could do to help, but I'm too stupid to do anything. It's a thing of beauty that I am 15 (Almost 16) And I haven't been tempted or convinced to try Smoking or Alcohol. I guess it's becaus e my parents are wonderful people without problems like that. To answer your question more fully I'd say: If you can, try to help. Help is such a beautiful thing,but it must be handled with care; it is possible to make things worse when you only try to help.
the only way an acholic is going to stop is himself u can't make him stop.but don't encorage it and tell him that it would be benificial to stop.
In fact , if u want to stop the alcoholic , u have to make group of non alcoholic person and have to come on the plateform of social justice, then ur group make the request with the government for prohibition of alcohol.
u know in some countries, use of alcohol is completely prohibited and given imprisonment and even death sentence if any person violates.
secondly, if it is not possible , govt . atleast ban on intoxictated person to go to any public place. okey, I have many more to tell u in this connection as a Advisor. But in nutshell it is enough yet
they have to want to be helped first u cant tell them they have a problem %26amp; say go get help. U have to b supportive of them %26amp; maybe make small remarks how u r worried about them, eventually they should c it too. then they will want help. Both my mom %26amp; husband have issues w/ drinking. my mom is in AA %26amp; my husband came to the conclusion all on his own %26amp; hasn't needed AA, just my support %26amp; love.
You have the weight of the world on your shoulders.They have to help themselves
People who drink lack in faith, esteem. self respect the consequence is that, they can only see their future as far as the bottom of their beer can. You can't help them, forget them, they are a lost cause.
I need to understand something?
I have read and watched THE SECRET
and am Nubria/Lightworker member.
Over 7 months now
I have lived Positive,filled with Gratitude
and have believed that
I am a child of the Universe
I meditate and do ceremonies,
I say positive mantra's
and have Thanked the Universe for all
For the last 2 weeks my life has fallen apart
I was told by my children's law guardian that my 4 small children
(11,9,6 and 3 yrs old)
will remain with their alcoholic,drug abusing/dealing father
because he
can provide better for them then I can
What is going on????????
Yes, I work 40 hours a week and would need child care,
But he deals drugs for a living.
How can the Universal Powers allow this?
Why would the Universal Powers want my children to be with this man
and bless him with abundance??
HELP!!!What is going on???
What do I do now!!????!!
I know wording is important
so how should I word a request like this to The Universe/God/Goddess?
Your help in this is greatly appreciated.I need to understand something?
wording isn't important with Jesus, your only true answer...try talking to Him...You'll get alot farther...I promise!I need to understand something?
Stop asking the universe for help.
Get a lawyer for ****'s sake!
you need God, the creator of the universe in your life. Only he has the power to do anything about your situation.
How to be saved -- Why does man need to be saved?
How to be saved is the most important quest of any human life. This quest begins when a man or woman first realizes their true state before a holy God.
The intimate and sweet fellowship that the Father longed for with man, the crown of His creation, was lost when Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s commandment in the Garden of Eden. When Adam and Eve sinned they lost their right to eat of the tree of life which would have enabled them to live forever. They were expelled from the garden and as such denied the loving relationship that God desired to have with them. Their sinful state made them unfit to linger in the presence of God. Far from being a minor event, this Fall and expulsion of man was the cataclysmic turning point of history and set humanity on a descent which continues to this day.
Man without God makes his own plans, follows his own counsels and lives by his own rules. Nevertheless, because man was created for fellowship with God, there remains a dissatisfaction and longing within man that can only be fulfilled by God Himself. As man is now hopelessly decadent and God is perfectly holy, there exists the need for God and man to be reconciled so that the fellowship may be restored.
How to be saved -- What has God provided for man’s salvation?
How to be saved has been outlined for every man in the preaching of the Gospel. The Gospel is the good news about Jesus Christ. “For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. . .” (2 Corinthians 5:19). God, fully knowing that man would fall, provided a means of reconciliation for man; He knew that there was nothing that a man could do to make mankind acceptable to God.
God sent Jesus Christ, who provided restoration for man with God by giving His own life, shedding His own blood. There was no other way to eradicate the effect of sin except by blood. “. . .Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sins” (Hebrews 9:22). This shedding of blood indicated that the penalty for sin had been paid; a life had been sacrificed for the lives of all who have sinned. Jesus Christ’s willing submission to the massacre on the cross paid the price for our sins and affected the means of reconciliation. “Because one person disobeyed God, many people became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many people will be made right in God's sight” (Romans 5:19).
How to be saved -- What must a man do to be saved?
How to be saved is within the reach of every human being on the face of the earth. When Jesus Christ died on the cross, He provided salvation for all. “‘And when I am lifted up on the cross, I will draw everyone to myself.’ He said this to indicate how he was going to die” (John 12:32-33). Salvation has been provided; it now must be accepted. Once a man or woman recognizes the need for salvation and realizes that God has provided for their salvation through Jesus Christ, he or she must go on to embrace it.
Salvation is simply a process of confessing and believing. A man must confess that Jesus is Lord, which signifies his realization that Christ must have full rule over his life with all of His righteous requirements. This confession of Christ as Lord also assumes that it is Christ who will work and fulfill His own righteousness within man.
Next, he must believe that God has raised Jesus Christ from the dead. This belief in the death and resurrection of Jesus carries with it the realization that the penalty has been paid for sin and power is provided for man to live a life free from sin. Thus man’s relationship to God is restored. “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. As the Bible tells us, “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved” (Romans 10:9-11). Do you feel unworthy to “go to heaven”? Peace with God is within your reach.
Do you understand that you are a sinner, and you believe that Jesus Christ came as the one and only Redeemer of sin? Are you ready to receive God’s gift of His Son, Jesus Christ? If so, believe in Christ, repent of your sins, and commit the rest of your life to Him as Lord:
“Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward you. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”
';Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.'; (Acts 2:38)
If you decided receive Jesus today, welcome to God's family. Now, as a way to grow closer to Him, the Bible tells us to follow up on our commitment.
Get baptized as commanded by Christ.
Tell someone else about your new faith in Christ.
Spend time with God each day. It does not have to be a long period of time. Just develop the daily habit of praying to Him and reading His Word. Ask God to increase your faith and your understanding of the Bible.
Seek fellowship with other followers of Jesus. Develop a group of believing friends to answer your questions and support you.
Find a local church where you can worship God.
I wouldn't waste your breath. There is only one true God.
It's not up to the universe, it's up to you.
Terrible things happen to people all over the world, every day.
Stop looking ';out there'; for someone or something to swoop in and save you....it's all up to you.
The Universal Powers doesn't answer because it doesn't exist. Pray to Jesus.
Hi there,
Well, first off there is only one God. He is the Creator of heaven and earth, of things seen and unseen. He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus, to be stretched out on a cross for our sin. That's how much He loves us. One thing, I wil tell you...pray about it, to God. He will help you. You must believe in Him.
Once you have done that, pray about calling the cops. That might be one of the best things you can do.
In Christ,
Randa
Maybe, just maybe, the paranormal and supernatural is not where you need to turn for help!
I would ask the Universe to give me strength, I would ask for strength, courage and guidance to help me get back my children. And then go out and find myself a good lawyer, asking for spiritual strength to get through a hard time is good, but you have to stand up and *do* something. Everyone's life has ups and downs, you'll get through it, just be strong and don't give up on what you really believe in. *Fight for those children!* The Universe/God/Goddess will be with you if you ask It to be.
';The Secret'; is just one lesson out of millions of lessons, there is much more to life than it. I believe you are being too mechanical in your approach, it's not just do step 1, then step 2 and 3 and you'll have what you want.
The wording does not matter at all, what matters is your intention, your heart. Learn to Love, Learn to Forgive, Learn to let God help you out, it's not just you and the universe.
Step by Step, each day, here a little, there a little, that is the way. Remember we don't go to heaven we Grow to heaven.
Do the best you can each day and leave the rest to God.
My prayers are with you.
If you watch the butterfly emerging from it's cocoon, it is not thinking of what is was, nor is it thinking of what it is. It is only doing what it is suppose to according to the natural order. All things will act according to their nature, and all nature will move through time. It is the nature of life to be, nothing more or less. If you expect more, you will be disappointed. Humans can be nothing more than human, just as nature must be always nature. You are unhappy, even though you try to be positive. It is rather like being positive about a negative thing. Or allowing yourself to be influenced by those events and people around you, becoming less of, and more in nature. Fight against the currents of nature and you will always lose. I cannot give you words, they are useless without intent, and only you can deliver that.
thats a really hard situation to deal with. i will never understand some of the decisions that people make.
unfortunately, the world has a mind of its own apart from religion, and humans have free will. its not that the universal powers necessarily want it, its more about the choice that humans have made.
we as humans dont always make the decisions that are right in the eyes of God or the mighty beings of our religions.
humans fall short. it sounds like the decisons being made come down to money, our society seems to revolve around money.
keep strong. you can make it through this.
just my opinion. hope this helps.
and am Nubria/Lightworker member.
Over 7 months now
I have lived Positive,filled with Gratitude
and have believed that
I am a child of the Universe
I meditate and do ceremonies,
I say positive mantra's
and have Thanked the Universe for all
For the last 2 weeks my life has fallen apart
I was told by my children's law guardian that my 4 small children
(11,9,6 and 3 yrs old)
will remain with their alcoholic,drug abusing/dealing father
because he
can provide better for them then I can
What is going on????????
Yes, I work 40 hours a week and would need child care,
But he deals drugs for a living.
How can the Universal Powers allow this?
Why would the Universal Powers want my children to be with this man
and bless him with abundance??
HELP!!!What is going on???
What do I do now!!????!!
I know wording is important
so how should I word a request like this to The Universe/God/Goddess?
Your help in this is greatly appreciated.I need to understand something?
wording isn't important with Jesus, your only true answer...try talking to Him...You'll get alot farther...I promise!I need to understand something?
Stop asking the universe for help.
Get a lawyer for ****'s sake!
you need God, the creator of the universe in your life. Only he has the power to do anything about your situation.
How to be saved -- Why does man need to be saved?
How to be saved is the most important quest of any human life. This quest begins when a man or woman first realizes their true state before a holy God.
The intimate and sweet fellowship that the Father longed for with man, the crown of His creation, was lost when Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s commandment in the Garden of Eden. When Adam and Eve sinned they lost their right to eat of the tree of life which would have enabled them to live forever. They were expelled from the garden and as such denied the loving relationship that God desired to have with them. Their sinful state made them unfit to linger in the presence of God. Far from being a minor event, this Fall and expulsion of man was the cataclysmic turning point of history and set humanity on a descent which continues to this day.
Man without God makes his own plans, follows his own counsels and lives by his own rules. Nevertheless, because man was created for fellowship with God, there remains a dissatisfaction and longing within man that can only be fulfilled by God Himself. As man is now hopelessly decadent and God is perfectly holy, there exists the need for God and man to be reconciled so that the fellowship may be restored.
How to be saved -- What has God provided for man’s salvation?
How to be saved has been outlined for every man in the preaching of the Gospel. The Gospel is the good news about Jesus Christ. “For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people's sins against them. . .” (2 Corinthians 5:19). God, fully knowing that man would fall, provided a means of reconciliation for man; He knew that there was nothing that a man could do to make mankind acceptable to God.
God sent Jesus Christ, who provided restoration for man with God by giving His own life, shedding His own blood. There was no other way to eradicate the effect of sin except by blood. “. . .Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sins” (Hebrews 9:22). This shedding of blood indicated that the penalty for sin had been paid; a life had been sacrificed for the lives of all who have sinned. Jesus Christ’s willing submission to the massacre on the cross paid the price for our sins and affected the means of reconciliation. “Because one person disobeyed God, many people became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many people will be made right in God's sight” (Romans 5:19).
How to be saved -- What must a man do to be saved?
How to be saved is within the reach of every human being on the face of the earth. When Jesus Christ died on the cross, He provided salvation for all. “‘And when I am lifted up on the cross, I will draw everyone to myself.’ He said this to indicate how he was going to die” (John 12:32-33). Salvation has been provided; it now must be accepted. Once a man or woman recognizes the need for salvation and realizes that God has provided for their salvation through Jesus Christ, he or she must go on to embrace it.
Salvation is simply a process of confessing and believing. A man must confess that Jesus is Lord, which signifies his realization that Christ must have full rule over his life with all of His righteous requirements. This confession of Christ as Lord also assumes that it is Christ who will work and fulfill His own righteousness within man.
Next, he must believe that God has raised Jesus Christ from the dead. This belief in the death and resurrection of Jesus carries with it the realization that the penalty has been paid for sin and power is provided for man to live a life free from sin. Thus man’s relationship to God is restored. “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. As the Bible tells us, “For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved” (Romans 10:9-11). Do you feel unworthy to “go to heaven”? Peace with God is within your reach.
Do you understand that you are a sinner, and you believe that Jesus Christ came as the one and only Redeemer of sin? Are you ready to receive God’s gift of His Son, Jesus Christ? If so, believe in Christ, repent of your sins, and commit the rest of your life to Him as Lord:
“Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward you. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”
';Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.'; (Acts 2:38)
If you decided receive Jesus today, welcome to God's family. Now, as a way to grow closer to Him, the Bible tells us to follow up on our commitment.
Get baptized as commanded by Christ.
Tell someone else about your new faith in Christ.
Spend time with God each day. It does not have to be a long period of time. Just develop the daily habit of praying to Him and reading His Word. Ask God to increase your faith and your understanding of the Bible.
Seek fellowship with other followers of Jesus. Develop a group of believing friends to answer your questions and support you.
Find a local church where you can worship God.
I wouldn't waste your breath. There is only one true God.
It's not up to the universe, it's up to you.
Terrible things happen to people all over the world, every day.
Stop looking ';out there'; for someone or something to swoop in and save you....it's all up to you.
The Universal Powers doesn't answer because it doesn't exist. Pray to Jesus.
Hi there,
Well, first off there is only one God. He is the Creator of heaven and earth, of things seen and unseen. He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus, to be stretched out on a cross for our sin. That's how much He loves us. One thing, I wil tell you...pray about it, to God. He will help you. You must believe in Him.
Once you have done that, pray about calling the cops. That might be one of the best things you can do.
In Christ,
Randa
Maybe, just maybe, the paranormal and supernatural is not where you need to turn for help!
I would ask the Universe to give me strength, I would ask for strength, courage and guidance to help me get back my children. And then go out and find myself a good lawyer, asking for spiritual strength to get through a hard time is good, but you have to stand up and *do* something. Everyone's life has ups and downs, you'll get through it, just be strong and don't give up on what you really believe in. *Fight for those children!* The Universe/God/Goddess will be with you if you ask It to be.
';The Secret'; is just one lesson out of millions of lessons, there is much more to life than it. I believe you are being too mechanical in your approach, it's not just do step 1, then step 2 and 3 and you'll have what you want.
The wording does not matter at all, what matters is your intention, your heart. Learn to Love, Learn to Forgive, Learn to let God help you out, it's not just you and the universe.
Step by Step, each day, here a little, there a little, that is the way. Remember we don't go to heaven we Grow to heaven.
Do the best you can each day and leave the rest to God.
My prayers are with you.
If you watch the butterfly emerging from it's cocoon, it is not thinking of what is was, nor is it thinking of what it is. It is only doing what it is suppose to according to the natural order. All things will act according to their nature, and all nature will move through time. It is the nature of life to be, nothing more or less. If you expect more, you will be disappointed. Humans can be nothing more than human, just as nature must be always nature. You are unhappy, even though you try to be positive. It is rather like being positive about a negative thing. Or allowing yourself to be influenced by those events and people around you, becoming less of, and more in nature. Fight against the currents of nature and you will always lose. I cannot give you words, they are useless without intent, and only you can deliver that.
thats a really hard situation to deal with. i will never understand some of the decisions that people make.
unfortunately, the world has a mind of its own apart from religion, and humans have free will. its not that the universal powers necessarily want it, its more about the choice that humans have made.
we as humans dont always make the decisions that are right in the eyes of God or the mighty beings of our religions.
humans fall short. it sounds like the decisons being made come down to money, our society seems to revolve around money.
keep strong. you can make it through this.
just my opinion. hope this helps.
HELP me if you care! please!?
I'm getting overly depressed and I need some advice on how to deal with my abusive alcoholic father. Tonight I can't stop crying. So if you have had a similar experience, how did you get through it? PLEASE HELP ME!HELP me if you care! please!?
You can call this number any time day or night for help....
Girls and Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
Call With any Problem, Anytime
Open 24 hours a day, everydayHELP me if you care! please!?
pray sweetie gods love and help is what you need
you can go to the Alanon and Alateen websites. they may also have chatrooms.
you can also attend meetings in your community. you can check on those sites for meetings all around the country, hon.
you can look up TEENS COPING WITH ALCOHOLIC PARENTS.
where is your mother? do you have any other relatives or adult friends you trust and who might listen to your issues? sometimes it helps to have someone to lean on, and for advice.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT... please get help. start with Alanon... and find someone to talk with! please.
Mine finally left, but this is what I did until then. Know that he's treating you badly because he's feeling bad and he wants to drag you down too. Don't let him win, OK. When you get sucked into the pain, you are enabling the behavior and you'll end up getting comfortable with it. It's not normal and you should do whatever, I mean whatever, it takes to convince yourself that his behavior isn't normal. Do you pray? Start.
I'm the child of an alchoholic. I married one too. Yes, pretty stupid, huh? If I knew what I just told you when I was young, I'd like to think I would have picked a different life for myself and my kids.
Make yourself proud. Make yourself the priority. He's making himself and his booze his top priority, so seriously, be strong and look to the future with wings spread wide.
I'll be praying for you. Good luck.
call 1-800-4ACHILD
it all depens honey, on how old you are first and what your living conditions are, like is you mother around. let me know and i will try to help you.
miss myra 0201@att.net
Honey I麓m soooooooo sorry. First,are you physically safe? If not-leave and go some where close and safe.Prayer is awsome and I agree with the other answers so far,if you have another family memeber you TRUST that can come get you-then go-and when 篓篓DAD篓is sober enough to talk.....perhaps you can explain to him that you love him......blah blah......but you NEED HIM to go to counsiling,AA-something,youll go with him for support--------but YOU-young lady-can not and do not deserve to live this way,is what I think you should say to him---------how old are you? And if you live in AZ: it is a child protection state---------perhaps your school counsellor could be of help.............good luck..........and do pray.laid off of work
You can call this number any time day or night for help....
Girls and Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
Call With any Problem, Anytime
Open 24 hours a day, everydayHELP me if you care! please!?
pray sweetie gods love and help is what you need
you can go to the Alanon and Alateen websites. they may also have chatrooms.
you can also attend meetings in your community. you can check on those sites for meetings all around the country, hon.
you can look up TEENS COPING WITH ALCOHOLIC PARENTS.
where is your mother? do you have any other relatives or adult friends you trust and who might listen to your issues? sometimes it helps to have someone to lean on, and for advice.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT... please get help. start with Alanon... and find someone to talk with! please.
Mine finally left, but this is what I did until then. Know that he's treating you badly because he's feeling bad and he wants to drag you down too. Don't let him win, OK. When you get sucked into the pain, you are enabling the behavior and you'll end up getting comfortable with it. It's not normal and you should do whatever, I mean whatever, it takes to convince yourself that his behavior isn't normal. Do you pray? Start.
I'm the child of an alchoholic. I married one too. Yes, pretty stupid, huh? If I knew what I just told you when I was young, I'd like to think I would have picked a different life for myself and my kids.
Make yourself proud. Make yourself the priority. He's making himself and his booze his top priority, so seriously, be strong and look to the future with wings spread wide.
I'll be praying for you. Good luck.
call 1-800-4ACHILD
it all depens honey, on how old you are first and what your living conditions are, like is you mother around. let me know and i will try to help you.
miss myra 0201@att.net
Honey I麓m soooooooo sorry. First,are you physically safe? If not-leave and go some where close and safe.Prayer is awsome and I agree with the other answers so far,if you have another family memeber you TRUST that can come get you-then go-and when 篓篓DAD篓is sober enough to talk.....perhaps you can explain to him that you love him......blah blah......but you NEED HIM to go to counsiling,AA-something,youll go with him for support--------but YOU-young lady-can not and do not deserve to live this way,is what I think you should say to him---------how old are you? And if you live in AZ: it is a child protection state---------perhaps your school counsellor could be of help.............good luck..........and do pray.
PLEASE PLEASE help me, advice is nice. (I'm crying so much...read on please)?
I'm getting overly depressed and I need some advice on how to deal with my abusive alcoholic father. Tonight I can't stop crying. So if you have had a similar experience, how did you get through it? PLEASE HELP ME!PLEASE PLEASE help me, advice is nice. (I'm crying so much...read on please)?
Being baptised or having communions do not make you a christian. Just simply going to a church does not put God into your heart, or make you saved. It is a promise you have to make, and keep in your heart. It is okay for you to pray, and to talk to God if you want to. I mean, you can do it, hiding under the covers of your bed, if you think that is the only place you feel safe praying. The important thing is to make sure you talk to God, and to be completely open and honest about everything in your heart and mind when you talk to Him. What is happening to you is not your fault in anyway, and I am sorry to hear that you have so much bad stuff going on around you. Even if you do end up crying a ton, and getting a little bit of runny makeup, maybe it would be helpful if you do at least talk to the school counselor, or maybe even a teacher if you feel too scared to the counselor. Just so long as it is someone you trust, and can feel safe talking to. Anyway, I will be sure to add you to my own prayers, and ask God to help you if you would like me to. If you click on my name, there is a link on my profile where you can also email me if you want to ask me anything about like how to pray or anything else. Anyway, I will be sure to keep you in my prayers!PLEASE PLEASE help me, advice is nice. (I'm crying so much...read on please)?
For starters this is not your fault I will try to help you just give me a sec
First off let me tell you that I came from the same type family. My father was a alcoholic and eventually my mother became one and it ended very badly with my brother shooting and killing my father in our front yard while I watched. Im not telling you this to scare you just to let you know what could happen.
I know it is impossible to talk with someone who has been drinking. I have several suggestions. When your mom is sober try talking to her and letting her know how you feel. If you feel like you can't talk to your mom then is there another family member you can talk to maybe an older sibling or aunt or someone that you trust to confide in. Don't give up. Find someone you can trust to talk to. I don't know how you feel but for me it. I couldnt talk to anyone but my family about it. I was afraid I would have been taken from my home, even though that would have probably been the best thing for me I was very scared of that because I had never know any other way of life and even though sometimes it was bad. I would have just died if someone from child services had tried to take me away from my home. But let that be an option for you if you think you need to leave. You can contact your local police dept or Sheriffs Dept and they will help you as well.
It is good that you stay out of your fathers way when he has been drinking. Try to stay out as much as possible.
Pray for your family, pray for God to deliver your parents from alcohol abuse. Have friends pray for you and your family. I will pray as well for you. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. If you need more help or to talk to someone my email is jusbizness403@yahoo.com.
I know this is upsetting and I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Good Luck
Also if you have someone you can stay with alot that may help as well. Stay out as much as you can. I know my parents never knew even if I was there most of the time. But do talk to someone whom you can trust not to do something you don't them to do.
He's alcoholic. That means he must NOT be a very good person. You can try to go talk to your teachers. I mean, teachers they do care about you, since your only 14.
d0 wutever u kan 2 get t0 a church and get inv0lved if u have any frinds wh0 g0 2 church try 2 g0 with them, this is the BEST way f0r u 2 talk 2 G0d learn ab0ut him and undertand His W0rd s0 that u kan understnad wut 2 d0 in ur situati0n
i w0uld jus say t0 stay away fr0m them when this happens and if u trust ur frinds u sh0uld 0pen up t0 them
I wish you could come live with me sweetie! You should talk to a school counselor, a friends parents, a social worker, or anyone who is an adult you can trust.
Please go to the school counselor. Tell the counselor your situation. You should not have to live like that. If you can't go to the school counselor, call a relative, and ask them to help you.
I was beat as achild too. try talking to other family members and see if you could stay with an aunt or uncle etc.. if he is abusive or even verbal he will never change unless he hits rock bottom. you dont need to wait around for that... its not your fault, its a disease, but if your that upset and think your in danger, try to stay with someone else..
talk to your teacher at school , or some one at church. or a family member don't keep this to yourself. this is delicate. good luck
Oh my gosh, honey. I'm now in tears as this was my life until I met my husband. My Dad drank all the time and my Mom was abused also. She, too, didn't drive due to nervousness and is mentally ill because of my Dad.
Is there anyone you trust? I know how it is about going to a family member. You probably feel that if you tell them how you feel, they will go to your parents, and your parents will come to you. Beleive me, I know how that is.
Is there anyone that you trust? I know that you don't want to go to the school counselor, but honey you need to talk to someone. They WILL keep it confidential unless you have been or currently are getting physically hurt.
I know how it is living in a house like you have. I really do. What kept me sane is getting out as much as possible. Do your parents allow you to go out? Do they care if you go out? Lock yourself in your room when you're home and put earphones on to drown out the noise or if you have a television in your room put that on really loud.
At fourteen, you could babysit and get some interaction with people that way. The family that you watch children for doesn't have to know about your home life...they just have to know that you're trustworthy and will do everything to protect their children while they are away. You could walk dogs, help a neighbor, put up a sign in local places on what you're willing to do (if your parents will allow this), etc. If you can, save up as much money as you can now (I know this is hard at fourteen, but try to limit your spending) so you can move out at eighteen and start a NEW and HEALTHY life for yourself. Good Luck sweetie, I'll be thinking of you.
I feel so bad for you.....unfortunately i know how you feel. First off, i want to say.....none of this is your fault.....You need to find a family member you can really trust and let them help you, or a good friends parents and ask them for help. You cannot continue to try to remedy this by yourself or even on this site. Please, go see your school conselor. they are trained to deal with this, they can get you intouch with someone who can really help you...........you need help, your mom needs help, your dad needs help. I grew up in this environment and didnt do the things i should of done, now my mom is no longer with us. I feel like i coulda done more. First and foremost you gotta look out for yourself. Im so sorry you have to deal with all of this alone. . . . .. . remember. You didnt cause your parents to be this way and you didnt pick them. . . . . . none of this is your fault........i wish i could do more for you......Please be safe......and talk to someone, anyone.
Sweetie, I know you don't want to go to your school counselor but I really think that's the best thing for you. If you're afraid you're going to go in and cry your eyes out, print off what you just wrote on here and go to the office, hand it ot the counselor, and say, ';I really need your help.'; Let them know that your home life is affecting your school life and they will come running to help you.
Also, I know this sounds hard, but next time the abuse starts, PLEASE muster up the courage to call the police. It doesn't matter who starts it. Your parents are putting you in the middle of their battles and it's NOT ok. Things won't get better if nobody intervenes.
(((Hugs))) to you. I sincerely hope you will at least do what I suggested and take your Y!A question to the school counselor.
My advice to you is to call the cops and have your father arrested and put in a rehab center. It sounds harsh but that's the only way he is going to learn. Then I would advise you and your mom to move away and start a new life or move in with some other family members that are willing to take you in. Also I would recommend you and your mom go get counseling there is a place that could help you out alot I hope its in your area its called the Pillars community service I know for a fact its a great non for profit organization that will be able to help you.. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Remember he wont stop unless you put a stop to him..
Your mom and yourself has to get away from your dad. He is going to wind up hurting you two really bad! I am a recovering alcoholic,so I know what I'm talking about here. As long as he doesn't seek any professional help with his alcohol addiction. He will only get worse.
I really feel sorry for you. You shouldn't have to go through that kind of lifestyle at the age of 14. You two really need to get away as soon as possible. If he's not willing to change his life for his family,he's not worth the daily heartaches. Good luck to both of you.
AA has a program just for teens..this is for kids just like you, they could give you good advice and help you cope..You need a grandma..I am sorry you have to go through this,but tears or no tears a counselor could help you.give them a try.
boy i really feel for you this makes me cry i had the exact same life growing up. i am 48 now.it messed up my life for a long time. i went to years of counsling but after i became an adult and had my own children. please go to your school counsler or even call social services they can give you some good advice. some of the kids in my family became alcholics me on the other hand no way i hated so much i didnt want to be that way. i used to lay in bed at night crying wishing it would go away.you really need to call social services or see your school counsler. so what if you have make up smeared or red eyes you need to do something. trust me i wish i would of when i was young. it wouldnt of affected myso bad or as long i should say if i would of done something. please please keep me informed. at least i can listen. ive been there its no fun.
Hello %26lt;3,
Your parents have lived their life, and have bad habits that are difficult to change at theor age but you,you are 14, you are still young to change your life but too young to solve those things by yourself, it's enough !!!!i think you have taken too much go and see a counselor a psychologist ,just see somebody! don't be afraid things can't be worse ;( and don't worry, whatever your religion, God is the same and hears us all,
Take care of yourself and act now you need help so ask for help, talk to your counselor
...wow...that's alot...and I can definitely say ur not the only one going through hard times growing up...mmm...the only thing I can say will happen for sure is that if you educate yourself...read books...get involved with things...that will get you away from the problem...the truth about what ur going through will be learned...and easier to deal with...you can also ask your mom what she thinks...and how you might get ur dad into a ';rehab';..or ';away from it...';
...I know there isn't an easy answer but I am 100% sure you can find a way thru it by educating ur mind...ur thinking will get stronger as you lock onto something else with ur mind....the more you do it...the better you will get...the stronger you get...the better you'll feel...read the classics...and ur imagination will grow and so will you...ask ur librarian to guide you...good luck to you.
...It's not ur fault...ur jus a kid.
And ur dad is making a mistake that time will teach him is wrong...It can change 4 the better...but you hav to find the change...it's the hardest part...but it can be done.You can't be lazy about though...you hav to read your way thru it...it will get better.I know.=)
wow hon, i feel for you. reading that brought back a lot of painful memories of my childhood and teenage years. it was a rough road with my family.it was very difficult to have to go to school each day and concentrate without just wanting to break down in tears. and who can you go to? friends just don't seem to understand. it seems like nobody can.
here's what you do. you do your own thing. you do whatever it takes to get good grades. try not to worry yourself with there problems. be a good person to others. be extremely responsible. don't ever start drinking or doing drugs yourself. stay on the right track so that one day you can move out of the house a successful woman. and don't look back. they are living in there own nightmare and it's ashame that they have brought you into it. be strong and know that one day you will be away from it all. life can be better for you one day.
they at least provide you with a roof over your head. and you have to kind of convince yourself that it's all you need.
just make sure you don't start drinking or drugging and you will be okay.
good luck to you and try to keep your head up and your mind serene even if there is lots of negative noise in the background.
i turned out pretty well considering the lack of ';good'; parents.
you can too.
You really need to talk to someone you can trust. Is there a children's help hotline where you are from? Google it on the net and if so, you should call them NOW. It's confidential and they can really give you great advice. If not, PLEASE talk to a reliable adult, a teacher or someone in your family. The problem isn't just going to go away on it's own. If your mom and dad can't help eachother, then unfortunately you need to be the adult in the situation and try to help yourself. I know it's hard, just please try to be strong and reach out to someone you can talk to. It's the first step in healing yourself, and hopefully helping the situation. Good luck, you're in my thoughts.
First of all, don't feel bad for calling your self a Christian. A Christian is anyone who believes in Christ. Going to church and being baptized doesn't make you Christian. There are plenty of people who were baptized and even go to church and call themselves Christians, but have no love of God in them and wouldn't know Jesus if they fell over him. Keep your faith, you need it.
You made a comment about ';when you were a child'; honey you are still a child. You are only 14 years old, you can't fend for your self.
The next time your parents get drunk and fight, call the police, tell them you are afraid for your moms safety and your own. If you are lucky you may end up in the care of a relative who can provide a more stable environment. Your parents are truly incapable of being responsible parents due to their alcoholism. It is not your fault and I'm sorry to say but there isn't anything you can do to help them,........ you can only help your self!!!! Get out of there, and go to Al - ateen, it is a support group for teens of alcoholic parents. It is free, ask your counselor where to find one. You also should continue your counseling at school, I know you don't think it is doing any good because nothing is changing, but being able talk about it one on one is important for your well being.
Start making a plan for your life. What you want and how you will get there, and keep the faith. Good luck, Sara
I gave your question a star because I hope in some way other children in such situations would get to read this. And children who are not in such a situation would appreciate what they have :)
I cannot tell you I had grown up with such a father like yours. Mine was different. He was well educated, savy, sophisticated and ... very cunning. The type of guy who is the ideal husband and father in the society, but one who is selfish to the core deep down. I never knew he was being abusive or neglecting me when he was actually following his own hearts' desires and totaly neglecting me. He could actually be a Master for all the abusive fathers to teach them how to do it right and get away with it - You have NO Idea how that is.
I was beaten up, slippered, belted ... yeah ... when he was drunk. It lasted from the time when I was eleven years until I was sixteen. After that he knew he could not do anything to me. Even during the times he'd beat me, I suppose he did that knowing one day he'd not be able to treat me the way he did.
Let me get to the point: How was it during those days and how I came to this point in life?
1. I never went to Church, but I have a very good relationship with Christ. Going to Church, meeting people who were supposed to be 'counsellors' etc etc ... got me frustrated - I have a tendency of seeing how people treat other people who are lower than themselves, before I take advice or anything from them. And I did not like many many people. It is very difficult for me to open up with any body, because according to me - there is no market for my problems, I have to deal with it. I have to help myself. I've been this way from the time I was twelve!
2. FAITH. Trust me when I say it is not necessary to feel bad that u did not go to Church. Faith is not doing what is prescribed by the people. Go to God directly - Dont expect instant cure or instant doses or magic! No He does not work that way - I can tell you one thign but - He does not send you through thorny pathways without providing shoes for you.
3. Confidence and Patience: Be confident in yourself. You ARE STRONG. Know it. You DO NOT have to show your weakness out. Dont let the world see your tears. If you do have one person who understands you - ok. But if you dont - you dont have to feel bad. In my case I did not have. And those who did come, came and went... Be patient.
4. Study, work hard and smile. Its the most difficult. Its very difficult to concentrate. I know. I've been through it. I failed in academics. I was number one until I was in grade 7. Then I failed - was detained in grade 8 and again in grade 9! So, I know studies is the most difficult - but work on it. I did. I had to get over my own self loathing when I failed !!! But I did it. Today, I'm a teacher - and I am a competant teacher :) *I finished school with 89% and I completed my MBA in Finance in First Class :) - It was not all easy but hey, I made myself tough*
5. READ. I was into Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes, Agatha Christie, Sydney Sheldon, Arthur Haley ... now I still LOVE Harry Potter, Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons (I've read all of Dan Brown's Books) ... Asterix, Tin tin ... Archie, Jughead, Superman, Spidey .... I Love to read ... And I've also read the Bible :) I know God loves me, I dont expect Him to throw a fireball at my dad to prove His love for me, I dont expect my dad to change - I know he wont, I've sat till two in the morning trying to talk him out of his drinking ... while he sat and drank and drank and drank and drank!!!! He is still selfish and still will say - I have no money, while he has money to buy booze!
My experiences has made me the person I am today. Independant, strong, responsible and non judgemental ... Vengence is God's - He will make things beautiful in His time. Even in your life. Trust me. Dont feel bad, just place your trust in God, He works in mysterious ways. Smile. Dont let your dad ruin you. Take charge. Make your life. Dont give in to self pity. I did - and I lost three wonderful teen years.
I wish you Happiness even in this sad time - Smile, God loves you and He has His eye on you. Dont let Satan see your tears :)
God bless you.
Get a friend that is over the age of 18 to buy you a can of mace. When dad drinks and acts up, spray him with it. Stay out of veiw when you do it and get him soaked. 15% is the strongest you can get. 2% is legal. I have the 15%/ He'll have to be treated like a criminal from this point forward, since what he's doing is illegal. Mace him and call the police. Its time his behaviour is brought out into the open. If your mom won't press charges, you do. alright. It'll be hard, but get a restraining order against him. and stick to it. No one should have to grow up like that. I bet your moms dad and mom didn't have it in their minds that they wanted their little girl beat up nightly and abused like this.
Tell him you want your daddy back. The one that played with you on the floor and was so proud when you crawled and started walking. Bring up painful memories for him that will tug at his heart. Make him cry. make him promise. Get someone to take your mom to see her daddy. That's her daddy, not your fathers choice. Call a taxi or a bussing service. Just get her there without father.
Hello,
My name is Caroline and I am writing you from The Steve Wilkos Show at NBC Universal in Chicago. This show was created to help people going through serious problems. Steve is an ex-cop,ex-marine and is here to help you. I would like to fly you, your mom, dad and anyone else involved to Chicago, all expenses paid. You can confront your Dad here, with Steve's help and we can pay for counseling for anyone who needs it in your hometown after the show. Your Dad needs a reality check, and Steve can give him that. Please call toll free 877-836-3405.
You do need some help!!!! You need to get out of this situation as fast as possible. It is causing you major problems and problems that you are unaware of. Many can have life long negative effects!! I realize you love your parents but you need to save yourself because your parents are not capable of doing so!!! Please get help. I understand that you don't want to come out of the councelors office with running make up. Maybe you could wear waterproofm, or perhaps not wear any that day. Or maybe you could see the councelor at the end of the day. I feel that you need to call the police non emergency number to get help. But I understand if that is difficult for you to do. There are many teen help lines on the internet and perhaps you could get better educated advice from them and outlets that are local for you. Here is a web page that lists resources for each - state: www.teencertral.net, there is also 1-800-272-TEEN at www.neoteenhelp.org, they have teens and staff that can talk to you. There is also www.teenlineonline.org. You are in a very toxic situation and you need to get out of there and get help so you can heal!! If you stay there you will only become more and more depressed and have life long psycological problems! You also have to realize there probebly is going to be a time where you will be physcially abused as well. It just hasn't happened yet. Please, Please, Please get yourself some help. Talk to the councelor, go to the police, call or go online to the teen help lines!! Do not feel like you are not a good christian!!! It's not all about being baptised! GOD knows your situation and clearly understands! But most importantly God KNOWS YOUR HEART!!! Do not turn away form him keep praying praying praying! Don't stop!!
I wish there was more I can do for you! My heart bleads for you. PLEASE SEEK FURTHER HELP!!
If I say things you have already said, please forgive me. I didn't read your whole question as I have been where you are, and I know only details are different.
There is a 12 step program called Al Anon. Find it and go to meetings regularly as possible, every day if possible. There you will find the answers you need, and the strategies you are in need of to survive. You will find no judgment from the others, they have been where you are, or they still are. Al Anon is for friends and families of alcoholics. They won't tell you what to do. They will tell you what has and hasn't worked for them. If someone tells you what to do, you are talking to the wrong member. They will tell you what you need to know so I will stop here, except to say this program can save your life and more importantly, your sanity. If you cannot find them, then find AA, they will know who to contact.
Blessed Be
I read your problem and then the answers you have already received. I was amazed to discover so many people who had the same problem as yours. They really gave you some good advice. Since I am not qualified to give you advice, I will just say to you that God loves you and we all are praying for you to find happiness.
I feel so sorry for you, you need to get out of that house do you have family you can go to that will care for you, if you don't, just go to the cops and tell them you can't go home anymore because of your father and who ever, they will try there best to help you. I was just like you at 14 years old, but I did one thing and I had to, I ran away from it all, but I was did see my mom who I loved very much, i moved in with this great jewish family not far from my house about 2 blocks away, and you know what I am a very happy guy today. So please go to the cops and tell them about your father they will help you, and please don't cry, you are still god's angel. you can always email me if you like.....frrrslvtr@yahoo.com.
Dial 911
Just broke her nose is a huge deal.
You can stop the insanity.
Dial 911
If you are in the USA you can call 1鈥?00鈥?22鈥?453. Thats the number for the National Child Abuse Hotline. They can get you the help you need. Also since Alocholism seems to be playing into the situation you may wnt to connect with Alateen through their website http://www.al-anon.org/alateen.html Also please rest assured that I am praying for you. And God cares. He is the ultimate Father. If you wish to connect for further info feel free. I am a Chaplain and Christian Counselor.
look go to the school councelor and tell them about your situation and get into foster care. that is the only thing for you and its teh best choice so far. you will not be with them and if they dont' clean up you can stay there with another family or in foster care where you are safe and can do school and get on to college and go girl its really grea ttake care.
Being baptised or having communions do not make you a christian. Just simply going to a church does not put God into your heart, or make you saved. It is a promise you have to make, and keep in your heart. It is okay for you to pray, and to talk to God if you want to. I mean, you can do it, hiding under the covers of your bed, if you think that is the only place you feel safe praying. The important thing is to make sure you talk to God, and to be completely open and honest about everything in your heart and mind when you talk to Him. What is happening to you is not your fault in anyway, and I am sorry to hear that you have so much bad stuff going on around you. Even if you do end up crying a ton, and getting a little bit of runny makeup, maybe it would be helpful if you do at least talk to the school counselor, or maybe even a teacher if you feel too scared to the counselor. Just so long as it is someone you trust, and can feel safe talking to. Anyway, I will be sure to add you to my own prayers, and ask God to help you if you would like me to. If you click on my name, there is a link on my profile where you can also email me if you want to ask me anything about like how to pray or anything else. Anyway, I will be sure to keep you in my prayers!PLEASE PLEASE help me, advice is nice. (I'm crying so much...read on please)?
For starters this is not your fault I will try to help you just give me a sec
First off let me tell you that I came from the same type family. My father was a alcoholic and eventually my mother became one and it ended very badly with my brother shooting and killing my father in our front yard while I watched. Im not telling you this to scare you just to let you know what could happen.
I know it is impossible to talk with someone who has been drinking. I have several suggestions. When your mom is sober try talking to her and letting her know how you feel. If you feel like you can't talk to your mom then is there another family member you can talk to maybe an older sibling or aunt or someone that you trust to confide in. Don't give up. Find someone you can trust to talk to. I don't know how you feel but for me it. I couldnt talk to anyone but my family about it. I was afraid I would have been taken from my home, even though that would have probably been the best thing for me I was very scared of that because I had never know any other way of life and even though sometimes it was bad. I would have just died if someone from child services had tried to take me away from my home. But let that be an option for you if you think you need to leave. You can contact your local police dept or Sheriffs Dept and they will help you as well.
It is good that you stay out of your fathers way when he has been drinking. Try to stay out as much as possible.
Pray for your family, pray for God to deliver your parents from alcohol abuse. Have friends pray for you and your family. I will pray as well for you. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. If you need more help or to talk to someone my email is jusbizness403@yahoo.com.
I know this is upsetting and I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Good Luck
Also if you have someone you can stay with alot that may help as well. Stay out as much as you can. I know my parents never knew even if I was there most of the time. But do talk to someone whom you can trust not to do something you don't them to do.
He's alcoholic. That means he must NOT be a very good person. You can try to go talk to your teachers. I mean, teachers they do care about you, since your only 14.
d0 wutever u kan 2 get t0 a church and get inv0lved if u have any frinds wh0 g0 2 church try 2 g0 with them, this is the BEST way f0r u 2 talk 2 G0d learn ab0ut him and undertand His W0rd s0 that u kan understnad wut 2 d0 in ur situati0n
i w0uld jus say t0 stay away fr0m them when this happens and if u trust ur frinds u sh0uld 0pen up t0 them
I wish you could come live with me sweetie! You should talk to a school counselor, a friends parents, a social worker, or anyone who is an adult you can trust.
Please go to the school counselor. Tell the counselor your situation. You should not have to live like that. If you can't go to the school counselor, call a relative, and ask them to help you.
I was beat as achild too. try talking to other family members and see if you could stay with an aunt or uncle etc.. if he is abusive or even verbal he will never change unless he hits rock bottom. you dont need to wait around for that... its not your fault, its a disease, but if your that upset and think your in danger, try to stay with someone else..
talk to your teacher at school , or some one at church. or a family member don't keep this to yourself. this is delicate. good luck
Oh my gosh, honey. I'm now in tears as this was my life until I met my husband. My Dad drank all the time and my Mom was abused also. She, too, didn't drive due to nervousness and is mentally ill because of my Dad.
Is there anyone you trust? I know how it is about going to a family member. You probably feel that if you tell them how you feel, they will go to your parents, and your parents will come to you. Beleive me, I know how that is.
Is there anyone that you trust? I know that you don't want to go to the school counselor, but honey you need to talk to someone. They WILL keep it confidential unless you have been or currently are getting physically hurt.
I know how it is living in a house like you have. I really do. What kept me sane is getting out as much as possible. Do your parents allow you to go out? Do they care if you go out? Lock yourself in your room when you're home and put earphones on to drown out the noise or if you have a television in your room put that on really loud.
At fourteen, you could babysit and get some interaction with people that way. The family that you watch children for doesn't have to know about your home life...they just have to know that you're trustworthy and will do everything to protect their children while they are away. You could walk dogs, help a neighbor, put up a sign in local places on what you're willing to do (if your parents will allow this), etc. If you can, save up as much money as you can now (I know this is hard at fourteen, but try to limit your spending) so you can move out at eighteen and start a NEW and HEALTHY life for yourself. Good Luck sweetie, I'll be thinking of you.
I feel so bad for you.....unfortunately i know how you feel. First off, i want to say.....none of this is your fault.....You need to find a family member you can really trust and let them help you, or a good friends parents and ask them for help. You cannot continue to try to remedy this by yourself or even on this site. Please, go see your school conselor. they are trained to deal with this, they can get you intouch with someone who can really help you...........you need help, your mom needs help, your dad needs help. I grew up in this environment and didnt do the things i should of done, now my mom is no longer with us. I feel like i coulda done more. First and foremost you gotta look out for yourself. Im so sorry you have to deal with all of this alone. . . . .. . remember. You didnt cause your parents to be this way and you didnt pick them. . . . . . none of this is your fault........i wish i could do more for you......Please be safe......and talk to someone, anyone.
Sweetie, I know you don't want to go to your school counselor but I really think that's the best thing for you. If you're afraid you're going to go in and cry your eyes out, print off what you just wrote on here and go to the office, hand it ot the counselor, and say, ';I really need your help.'; Let them know that your home life is affecting your school life and they will come running to help you.
Also, I know this sounds hard, but next time the abuse starts, PLEASE muster up the courage to call the police. It doesn't matter who starts it. Your parents are putting you in the middle of their battles and it's NOT ok. Things won't get better if nobody intervenes.
(((Hugs))) to you. I sincerely hope you will at least do what I suggested and take your Y!A question to the school counselor.
My advice to you is to call the cops and have your father arrested and put in a rehab center. It sounds harsh but that's the only way he is going to learn. Then I would advise you and your mom to move away and start a new life or move in with some other family members that are willing to take you in. Also I would recommend you and your mom go get counseling there is a place that could help you out alot I hope its in your area its called the Pillars community service I know for a fact its a great non for profit organization that will be able to help you.. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Remember he wont stop unless you put a stop to him..
Your mom and yourself has to get away from your dad. He is going to wind up hurting you two really bad! I am a recovering alcoholic,so I know what I'm talking about here. As long as he doesn't seek any professional help with his alcohol addiction. He will only get worse.
I really feel sorry for you. You shouldn't have to go through that kind of lifestyle at the age of 14. You two really need to get away as soon as possible. If he's not willing to change his life for his family,he's not worth the daily heartaches. Good luck to both of you.
AA has a program just for teens..this is for kids just like you, they could give you good advice and help you cope..You need a grandma..I am sorry you have to go through this,but tears or no tears a counselor could help you.give them a try.
boy i really feel for you this makes me cry i had the exact same life growing up. i am 48 now.it messed up my life for a long time. i went to years of counsling but after i became an adult and had my own children. please go to your school counsler or even call social services they can give you some good advice. some of the kids in my family became alcholics me on the other hand no way i hated so much i didnt want to be that way. i used to lay in bed at night crying wishing it would go away.you really need to call social services or see your school counsler. so what if you have make up smeared or red eyes you need to do something. trust me i wish i would of when i was young. it wouldnt of affected myso bad or as long i should say if i would of done something. please please keep me informed. at least i can listen. ive been there its no fun.
Hello %26lt;3,
Your parents have lived their life, and have bad habits that are difficult to change at theor age but you,you are 14, you are still young to change your life but too young to solve those things by yourself, it's enough !!!!i think you have taken too much go and see a counselor a psychologist ,just see somebody! don't be afraid things can't be worse ;( and don't worry, whatever your religion, God is the same and hears us all,
Take care of yourself and act now you need help so ask for help, talk to your counselor
...wow...that's alot...and I can definitely say ur not the only one going through hard times growing up...mmm...the only thing I can say will happen for sure is that if you educate yourself...read books...get involved with things...that will get you away from the problem...the truth about what ur going through will be learned...and easier to deal with...you can also ask your mom what she thinks...and how you might get ur dad into a ';rehab';..or ';away from it...';
...I know there isn't an easy answer but I am 100% sure you can find a way thru it by educating ur mind...ur thinking will get stronger as you lock onto something else with ur mind....the more you do it...the better you will get...the stronger you get...the better you'll feel...read the classics...and ur imagination will grow and so will you...ask ur librarian to guide you...good luck to you.
...It's not ur fault...ur jus a kid.
And ur dad is making a mistake that time will teach him is wrong...It can change 4 the better...but you hav to find the change...it's the hardest part...but it can be done.You can't be lazy about though...you hav to read your way thru it...it will get better.I know.=)
wow hon, i feel for you. reading that brought back a lot of painful memories of my childhood and teenage years. it was a rough road with my family.it was very difficult to have to go to school each day and concentrate without just wanting to break down in tears. and who can you go to? friends just don't seem to understand. it seems like nobody can.
here's what you do. you do your own thing. you do whatever it takes to get good grades. try not to worry yourself with there problems. be a good person to others. be extremely responsible. don't ever start drinking or doing drugs yourself. stay on the right track so that one day you can move out of the house a successful woman. and don't look back. they are living in there own nightmare and it's ashame that they have brought you into it. be strong and know that one day you will be away from it all. life can be better for you one day.
they at least provide you with a roof over your head. and you have to kind of convince yourself that it's all you need.
just make sure you don't start drinking or drugging and you will be okay.
good luck to you and try to keep your head up and your mind serene even if there is lots of negative noise in the background.
i turned out pretty well considering the lack of ';good'; parents.
you can too.
You really need to talk to someone you can trust. Is there a children's help hotline where you are from? Google it on the net and if so, you should call them NOW. It's confidential and they can really give you great advice. If not, PLEASE talk to a reliable adult, a teacher or someone in your family. The problem isn't just going to go away on it's own. If your mom and dad can't help eachother, then unfortunately you need to be the adult in the situation and try to help yourself. I know it's hard, just please try to be strong and reach out to someone you can talk to. It's the first step in healing yourself, and hopefully helping the situation. Good luck, you're in my thoughts.
First of all, don't feel bad for calling your self a Christian. A Christian is anyone who believes in Christ. Going to church and being baptized doesn't make you Christian. There are plenty of people who were baptized and even go to church and call themselves Christians, but have no love of God in them and wouldn't know Jesus if they fell over him. Keep your faith, you need it.
You made a comment about ';when you were a child'; honey you are still a child. You are only 14 years old, you can't fend for your self.
The next time your parents get drunk and fight, call the police, tell them you are afraid for your moms safety and your own. If you are lucky you may end up in the care of a relative who can provide a more stable environment. Your parents are truly incapable of being responsible parents due to their alcoholism. It is not your fault and I'm sorry to say but there isn't anything you can do to help them,........ you can only help your self!!!! Get out of there, and go to Al - ateen, it is a support group for teens of alcoholic parents. It is free, ask your counselor where to find one. You also should continue your counseling at school, I know you don't think it is doing any good because nothing is changing, but being able talk about it one on one is important for your well being.
Start making a plan for your life. What you want and how you will get there, and keep the faith. Good luck, Sara
I gave your question a star because I hope in some way other children in such situations would get to read this. And children who are not in such a situation would appreciate what they have :)
I cannot tell you I had grown up with such a father like yours. Mine was different. He was well educated, savy, sophisticated and ... very cunning. The type of guy who is the ideal husband and father in the society, but one who is selfish to the core deep down. I never knew he was being abusive or neglecting me when he was actually following his own hearts' desires and totaly neglecting me. He could actually be a Master for all the abusive fathers to teach them how to do it right and get away with it - You have NO Idea how that is.
I was beaten up, slippered, belted ... yeah ... when he was drunk. It lasted from the time when I was eleven years until I was sixteen. After that he knew he could not do anything to me. Even during the times he'd beat me, I suppose he did that knowing one day he'd not be able to treat me the way he did.
Let me get to the point: How was it during those days and how I came to this point in life?
1. I never went to Church, but I have a very good relationship with Christ. Going to Church, meeting people who were supposed to be 'counsellors' etc etc ... got me frustrated - I have a tendency of seeing how people treat other people who are lower than themselves, before I take advice or anything from them. And I did not like many many people. It is very difficult for me to open up with any body, because according to me - there is no market for my problems, I have to deal with it. I have to help myself. I've been this way from the time I was twelve!
2. FAITH. Trust me when I say it is not necessary to feel bad that u did not go to Church. Faith is not doing what is prescribed by the people. Go to God directly - Dont expect instant cure or instant doses or magic! No He does not work that way - I can tell you one thign but - He does not send you through thorny pathways without providing shoes for you.
3. Confidence and Patience: Be confident in yourself. You ARE STRONG. Know it. You DO NOT have to show your weakness out. Dont let the world see your tears. If you do have one person who understands you - ok. But if you dont - you dont have to feel bad. In my case I did not have. And those who did come, came and went... Be patient.
4. Study, work hard and smile. Its the most difficult. Its very difficult to concentrate. I know. I've been through it. I failed in academics. I was number one until I was in grade 7. Then I failed - was detained in grade 8 and again in grade 9! So, I know studies is the most difficult - but work on it. I did. I had to get over my own self loathing when I failed !!! But I did it. Today, I'm a teacher - and I am a competant teacher :) *I finished school with 89% and I completed my MBA in Finance in First Class :) - It was not all easy but hey, I made myself tough*
5. READ. I was into Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes, Agatha Christie, Sydney Sheldon, Arthur Haley ... now I still LOVE Harry Potter, Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons (I've read all of Dan Brown's Books) ... Asterix, Tin tin ... Archie, Jughead, Superman, Spidey .... I Love to read ... And I've also read the Bible :) I know God loves me, I dont expect Him to throw a fireball at my dad to prove His love for me, I dont expect my dad to change - I know he wont, I've sat till two in the morning trying to talk him out of his drinking ... while he sat and drank and drank and drank and drank!!!! He is still selfish and still will say - I have no money, while he has money to buy booze!
My experiences has made me the person I am today. Independant, strong, responsible and non judgemental ... Vengence is God's - He will make things beautiful in His time. Even in your life. Trust me. Dont feel bad, just place your trust in God, He works in mysterious ways. Smile. Dont let your dad ruin you. Take charge. Make your life. Dont give in to self pity. I did - and I lost three wonderful teen years.
I wish you Happiness even in this sad time - Smile, God loves you and He has His eye on you. Dont let Satan see your tears :)
God bless you.
Get a friend that is over the age of 18 to buy you a can of mace. When dad drinks and acts up, spray him with it. Stay out of veiw when you do it and get him soaked. 15% is the strongest you can get. 2% is legal. I have the 15%/ He'll have to be treated like a criminal from this point forward, since what he's doing is illegal. Mace him and call the police. Its time his behaviour is brought out into the open. If your mom won't press charges, you do. alright. It'll be hard, but get a restraining order against him. and stick to it. No one should have to grow up like that. I bet your moms dad and mom didn't have it in their minds that they wanted their little girl beat up nightly and abused like this.
Tell him you want your daddy back. The one that played with you on the floor and was so proud when you crawled and started walking. Bring up painful memories for him that will tug at his heart. Make him cry. make him promise. Get someone to take your mom to see her daddy. That's her daddy, not your fathers choice. Call a taxi or a bussing service. Just get her there without father.
Hello,
My name is Caroline and I am writing you from The Steve Wilkos Show at NBC Universal in Chicago. This show was created to help people going through serious problems. Steve is an ex-cop,ex-marine and is here to help you. I would like to fly you, your mom, dad and anyone else involved to Chicago, all expenses paid. You can confront your Dad here, with Steve's help and we can pay for counseling for anyone who needs it in your hometown after the show. Your Dad needs a reality check, and Steve can give him that. Please call toll free 877-836-3405.
You do need some help!!!! You need to get out of this situation as fast as possible. It is causing you major problems and problems that you are unaware of. Many can have life long negative effects!! I realize you love your parents but you need to save yourself because your parents are not capable of doing so!!! Please get help. I understand that you don't want to come out of the councelors office with running make up. Maybe you could wear waterproofm, or perhaps not wear any that day. Or maybe you could see the councelor at the end of the day. I feel that you need to call the police non emergency number to get help. But I understand if that is difficult for you to do. There are many teen help lines on the internet and perhaps you could get better educated advice from them and outlets that are local for you. Here is a web page that lists resources for each - state: www.teencertral.net, there is also 1-800-272-TEEN at www.neoteenhelp.org, they have teens and staff that can talk to you. There is also www.teenlineonline.org. You are in a very toxic situation and you need to get out of there and get help so you can heal!! If you stay there you will only become more and more depressed and have life long psycological problems! You also have to realize there probebly is going to be a time where you will be physcially abused as well. It just hasn't happened yet. Please, Please, Please get yourself some help. Talk to the councelor, go to the police, call or go online to the teen help lines!! Do not feel like you are not a good christian!!! It's not all about being baptised! GOD knows your situation and clearly understands! But most importantly God KNOWS YOUR HEART!!! Do not turn away form him keep praying praying praying! Don't stop!!
I wish there was more I can do for you! My heart bleads for you. PLEASE SEEK FURTHER HELP!!
If I say things you have already said, please forgive me. I didn't read your whole question as I have been where you are, and I know only details are different.
There is a 12 step program called Al Anon. Find it and go to meetings regularly as possible, every day if possible. There you will find the answers you need, and the strategies you are in need of to survive. You will find no judgment from the others, they have been where you are, or they still are. Al Anon is for friends and families of alcoholics. They won't tell you what to do. They will tell you what has and hasn't worked for them. If someone tells you what to do, you are talking to the wrong member. They will tell you what you need to know so I will stop here, except to say this program can save your life and more importantly, your sanity. If you cannot find them, then find AA, they will know who to contact.
Blessed Be
I read your problem and then the answers you have already received. I was amazed to discover so many people who had the same problem as yours. They really gave you some good advice. Since I am not qualified to give you advice, I will just say to you that God loves you and we all are praying for you to find happiness.
I feel so sorry for you, you need to get out of that house do you have family you can go to that will care for you, if you don't, just go to the cops and tell them you can't go home anymore because of your father and who ever, they will try there best to help you. I was just like you at 14 years old, but I did one thing and I had to, I ran away from it all, but I was did see my mom who I loved very much, i moved in with this great jewish family not far from my house about 2 blocks away, and you know what I am a very happy guy today. So please go to the cops and tell them about your father they will help you, and please don't cry, you are still god's angel. you can always email me if you like.....frrrslvtr@yahoo.com.
Dial 911
Just broke her nose is a huge deal.
You can stop the insanity.
Dial 911
If you are in the USA you can call 1鈥?00鈥?22鈥?453. Thats the number for the National Child Abuse Hotline. They can get you the help you need. Also since Alocholism seems to be playing into the situation you may wnt to connect with Alateen through their website http://www.al-anon.org/alateen.html Also please rest assured that I am praying for you. And God cares. He is the ultimate Father. If you wish to connect for further info feel free. I am a Chaplain and Christian Counselor.
look go to the school councelor and tell them about your situation and get into foster care. that is the only thing for you and its teh best choice so far. you will not be with them and if they dont' clean up you can stay there with another family or in foster care where you are safe and can do school and get on to college and go girl its really grea ttake care.
How will I find treatment centers in Corsicana, Texas, that deal with dual diagnosis cases?
My neighbor is an alcoholic, and he happens to be depressive as well. He's asking for my help in finding a treatment center for him. He has helped me out a lot of times when I needed help with something. I don't want to let him down now. So if anyone out there has any suggestions, please share them. Thanks.How will I find treatment centers in Corsicana, Texas, that deal with dual diagnosis cases?
Has your neighbor already gone to a doctor? The doctor will be able to tell him of the kind of treatment program that will be right for him, as well as the treatment centers he can go to so that he may be treated for his disorder. You can also check out the links below as these might be able to help you in your search. Good luck! It's really good of you to do this for your neighbor.
Has your neighbor already gone to a doctor? The doctor will be able to tell him of the kind of treatment program that will be right for him, as well as the treatment centers he can go to so that he may be treated for his disorder. You can also check out the links below as these might be able to help you in your search. Good luck! It's really good of you to do this for your neighbor.
I am pregnant and married to an alcoholic, I know I need a divorce, I just don't know how to deal with this!!!
This year I found the one person who I thought could make me happy, a few months later I found out I was pregnant and we went and got married. Ever since I met him he had always been a drinker but after getting married his drinking got worse and worse. He got to where he wouldn't come home at night, especially on pay days and would spend his checks by the next day. I would come home from work and he would be totally plastured. Everyone kept telling me he was an alcoholic, but not only him but I too was in denial. Finally one night of not coming home I had him chose, you either get help or we get divorced. He said he wanted to get th help because he realized he had the problem and no longer wanted to put his family in jeopardy. Well we finally did the AA meetings and I got to where I started keeping all the money. He found a job with the insurance our family needed. Well last week his alcohlism caused him to loose his job and got arrested for drugs too. I am just pregnant and scared....I am pregnant and married to an alcoholic, I know I need a divorce, I just don't know how to deal with this!!!
I feel your pain truly, I survived your situation.
The pain your going thru now will be so much worse after your baby is here. Spare your child the lifestyle your husband has chosen.
Your not alone, their are many women having to raise a child alone. Have yourself a good cry and find that strength we women and moms have. Its there, pull it out for you and the baby.
Trust me, you will get thru it. When you see your child, that will be when your life starts again. A happy mom and a happy child, think about twice the love you can give your baby.
No doubt its scary but not as scary as the life you have now.
e-mail me if you need to talk.I am pregnant and married to an alcoholic, I know I need a divorce, I just don't know how to deal with this!!!
I would suggest Al-Anon first and then see if you can get some help from family members either his or your own.
So now you need to ask yourself....is this the man I want to live with the rest of my life? Not as he might be...but as he is right now.
I know it can be scary to face the truth. But fantasies of anyone in our life changing themselves to suit us are doomed to repeated failures. I'm sorry for you. I truly believe you deserve something more.
I was in your situation and afraid to leave, until I asked myself what is the worst thing that could happen if I left. Figured out that the worst would be losing my job, him not paying child support and having to go into a shelter till I got myself sorted out and could support my 3 kids. When I decided that was a better alternative than living with an abusive drunk, I kicked him out. None of those things happened. Al-Anon helped some. Good luck to you!
Find a family crisis center, they can help you with everything....
No matter WHAT you do, get YOURSELF in Al-Anon. It's for people who are with an alcoholic. You might find that you've been enabling him. That's called co-dependent. If he's been abusive to you, get in a group for victims of domestic violence, too. These two groups will help you take care of yourself, whether you choose to stay or go. Beyond that, all I can say is, if you pray, then do that. If you don't, then at least get yourself a good support system and people/places you can go when he's been drinking. He needs to hit rock bottom before he does anything to change that.
My brother-in-law died at 25 years old, from drinking.
You don't offer an email, or I would have sent this via email, so I apologize for the length of this message.
Children of alcoholics usually either become chemically dependent themselves or marry alcoholics. I know you want more for your baby than your situation.
You say you know what must happen. It won't happen until you're ready. The best thing to do is look at the links I'm sending you. You aren't the first or the last to go through this, but just think about your baby's life.
Good luck.
PS If you do get out, the state offers ways to help you, like getting your tmeporary insurance for you and your baby an also for formula. Contact WIC for more information.
I feel your pain truly, I survived your situation.
The pain your going thru now will be so much worse after your baby is here. Spare your child the lifestyle your husband has chosen.
Your not alone, their are many women having to raise a child alone. Have yourself a good cry and find that strength we women and moms have. Its there, pull it out for you and the baby.
Trust me, you will get thru it. When you see your child, that will be when your life starts again. A happy mom and a happy child, think about twice the love you can give your baby.
No doubt its scary but not as scary as the life you have now.
e-mail me if you need to talk.I am pregnant and married to an alcoholic, I know I need a divorce, I just don't know how to deal with this!!!
I would suggest Al-Anon first and then see if you can get some help from family members either his or your own.
So now you need to ask yourself....is this the man I want to live with the rest of my life? Not as he might be...but as he is right now.
I know it can be scary to face the truth. But fantasies of anyone in our life changing themselves to suit us are doomed to repeated failures. I'm sorry for you. I truly believe you deserve something more.
I was in your situation and afraid to leave, until I asked myself what is the worst thing that could happen if I left. Figured out that the worst would be losing my job, him not paying child support and having to go into a shelter till I got myself sorted out and could support my 3 kids. When I decided that was a better alternative than living with an abusive drunk, I kicked him out. None of those things happened. Al-Anon helped some. Good luck to you!
Find a family crisis center, they can help you with everything....
No matter WHAT you do, get YOURSELF in Al-Anon. It's for people who are with an alcoholic. You might find that you've been enabling him. That's called co-dependent. If he's been abusive to you, get in a group for victims of domestic violence, too. These two groups will help you take care of yourself, whether you choose to stay or go. Beyond that, all I can say is, if you pray, then do that. If you don't, then at least get yourself a good support system and people/places you can go when he's been drinking. He needs to hit rock bottom before he does anything to change that.
My brother-in-law died at 25 years old, from drinking.
You don't offer an email, or I would have sent this via email, so I apologize for the length of this message.
Children of alcoholics usually either become chemically dependent themselves or marry alcoholics. I know you want more for your baby than your situation.
You say you know what must happen. It won't happen until you're ready. The best thing to do is look at the links I'm sending you. You aren't the first or the last to go through this, but just think about your baby's life.
Good luck.
PS If you do get out, the state offers ways to help you, like getting your tmeporary insurance for you and your baby an also for formula. Contact WIC for more information.
Help me understand ';legal''; and Universal thinking?
I have read and watched THE SECRET
and am Nubria/Lightworker member.
Over 7 months now
I have lived Positive,filled with Gratitude
and have believed that
I am a child of the Universe
I meditate and do ceremonies,
I say positive mantra's
and have Thanked the Universe/God/Goddess for all it/they have provided me.
For the last 2 weeks my life has fallen apart
and
I was told by my children's law guardian that my 4 small children
(11,9,6 and 3 yrs old)
will remain with their alcoholic,drug abusing/dealing father
because he
can provide better for them then I can.
I work 40 hours a week and would need child care and a larger place
BUT he deals and uses drugs
What is going on????????
Why would the Universal Powers want my children to be with this man
and bless him with abundance??
HELP!!!What is going on???
What do I do now!!????!!
I know wording is important
so how should I word a request like this to God/Goddess/The Universe?
Your help in this is greatly appreciated.Help me understand ';legal''; and Universal thinking?
I would suggest that you secretly inform on his drug dealing. Then when the police arrive and bust him, you'll get your kids back.Help me understand ';legal''; and Universal thinking?
Find a deprogrammer.
Legal?
Try it out with Leviticus 26
Universal living';
Decode this lyrics '; I will follow him';
I am the ';Alpha and the Omega'; in planet of apes.
';I'll stand by you';
';Can't live without you';
';When will I see you again';
';Tie up a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree';
';I'll be there';
Whatever manifests in our phenomenal lives is a direct effect of past Karma even previous lives. Karma will be satisfied. What you're spiritually doing now will have great effect on the future but Karma that has already ripened will manifest.
and am Nubria/Lightworker member.
Over 7 months now
I have lived Positive,filled with Gratitude
and have believed that
I am a child of the Universe
I meditate and do ceremonies,
I say positive mantra's
and have Thanked the Universe/God/Goddess for all it/they have provided me.
For the last 2 weeks my life has fallen apart
and
I was told by my children's law guardian that my 4 small children
(11,9,6 and 3 yrs old)
will remain with their alcoholic,drug abusing/dealing father
because he
can provide better for them then I can.
I work 40 hours a week and would need child care and a larger place
BUT he deals and uses drugs
What is going on????????
Why would the Universal Powers want my children to be with this man
and bless him with abundance??
HELP!!!What is going on???
What do I do now!!????!!
I know wording is important
so how should I word a request like this to God/Goddess/The Universe?
Your help in this is greatly appreciated.Help me understand ';legal''; and Universal thinking?
I would suggest that you secretly inform on his drug dealing. Then when the police arrive and bust him, you'll get your kids back.Help me understand ';legal''; and Universal thinking?
Find a deprogrammer.
Legal?
Try it out with Leviticus 26
Universal living';
Decode this lyrics '; I will follow him';
I am the ';Alpha and the Omega'; in planet of apes.
';I'll stand by you';
';Can't live without you';
';When will I see you again';
';Tie up a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree';
';I'll be there';
Whatever manifests in our phenomenal lives is a direct effect of past Karma even previous lives. Karma will be satisfied. What you're spiritually doing now will have great effect on the future but Karma that has already ripened will manifest.
How to deal with a disillusional mentally ill adult daugher?
My daugher is on medication for ADHD; in the last ten years has had several different diagnosis. Her Dad is paranoid schizophrenic, and she was diagnosed with the same, but later the doctors decided she was MPD, which I tend to agree, as I have seen different personalities in her.
However, one of her personalities wants to destroy me. She tells and believes horrible things about me, such as, she isn't her dads daughter, I had an affair with someone else, I belonged to an occult and was immersed in the satanic occult, and for a number of years she told me my dad didn't die, I was just telling her that to keep him away from her, she was about 2 when he passed away in '74! I love my daughter, but when she is so disillusioned, I tend to stay away, even though I feel she needs my love and support. I know that talking to her about her dislusions, doesn't do any good, until she is her self again. She was a recoverying alcoholic of 6 yrs., but recently was fired from her job, and relapsed.How to deal with a disillusional mentally ill adult daugher?
what if, now get this,she is really correct in what she says and you are delusional? Could this perhaps be your own life you are telling us about, hmmm? I think you should check into this!How to deal with a disillusional mentally ill adult daugher?
Sounds like she is delusional. If she is drinking again, her symptoms of real schizophrenia or delusions can be magnified. Get her help asap.
I very much understand as i have dealt with so much in my adult daughter.. First of all she really needs on the right medicines, O dear Lord my daughter has been on so different meds..Finally, she found a reason for living again had it not been for a young man whom was her neighbor and very much involved in his church, thru much prayer it's like with all the helps of the God answering my frantic prayers of show us the way,Everything seemed to fall in place.. she once in awhile will have a relapse, But with Love and letters to her from me, when she is fearful it helps her as she loves to write and tell me what she is feeling we sit down and talk I mean lots of talking.. Her father left us, so it was on me that i got the brunt of it..of her growing pains, and into her adult life... There is Hope.. If i can help you any further add me to your messenger.. hauntedheart25
You may want to have her diagnoses re-evaluated. (I know, here we go again.) My partner had very similar symptoms, had a schizophrenic/ and or bi-polar Dad, has gotten ';psychotic a few times, etc. Last hospitalization came out with a ';bi-polar'; diagnosis and the drugs to go with it. We got a recomendation to a VERY good psychiatrist. He has re-diagnosed her as having borderline personality disorder. This sounds to me to be very similar to what your daughter is doing. They act like they have different personalities, they are often substance abusers, they can get psychotic to the point of delusions and hallucinations both auditory and visual. They often act or are ADHD. There are a few pretty good books out that you may want to check into. I don't mean to push any buttons by this statement, but do you know if your husband abused/ neglected/ ignored your daughter? That is a big sign, but not all borderlines have that component. The big thing is that they are OFTEN misdiagnosed because they have symptoms of so many different mental issues and may in fact actually have more then one. It is treatable! IF it is in fact borderline and you can get her to someone who understands and knows how to treat it. I wish you the best and hope that this may help. I just re-read your question more carefully. She did have a tramatic event regarding here father- he passed away. That could be enough to set this off. Good luck to you and I wish you both well!black eyed bean salad chicken casserole recipe
However, one of her personalities wants to destroy me. She tells and believes horrible things about me, such as, she isn't her dads daughter, I had an affair with someone else, I belonged to an occult and was immersed in the satanic occult, and for a number of years she told me my dad didn't die, I was just telling her that to keep him away from her, she was about 2 when he passed away in '74! I love my daughter, but when she is so disillusioned, I tend to stay away, even though I feel she needs my love and support. I know that talking to her about her dislusions, doesn't do any good, until she is her self again. She was a recoverying alcoholic of 6 yrs., but recently was fired from her job, and relapsed.How to deal with a disillusional mentally ill adult daugher?
what if, now get this,she is really correct in what she says and you are delusional? Could this perhaps be your own life you are telling us about, hmmm? I think you should check into this!How to deal with a disillusional mentally ill adult daugher?
Sounds like she is delusional. If she is drinking again, her symptoms of real schizophrenia or delusions can be magnified. Get her help asap.
I very much understand as i have dealt with so much in my adult daughter.. First of all she really needs on the right medicines, O dear Lord my daughter has been on so different meds..Finally, she found a reason for living again had it not been for a young man whom was her neighbor and very much involved in his church, thru much prayer it's like with all the helps of the God answering my frantic prayers of show us the way,Everything seemed to fall in place.. she once in awhile will have a relapse, But with Love and letters to her from me, when she is fearful it helps her as she loves to write and tell me what she is feeling we sit down and talk I mean lots of talking.. Her father left us, so it was on me that i got the brunt of it..of her growing pains, and into her adult life... There is Hope.. If i can help you any further add me to your messenger.. hauntedheart25
You may want to have her diagnoses re-evaluated. (I know, here we go again.) My partner had very similar symptoms, had a schizophrenic/ and or bi-polar Dad, has gotten ';psychotic a few times, etc. Last hospitalization came out with a ';bi-polar'; diagnosis and the drugs to go with it. We got a recomendation to a VERY good psychiatrist. He has re-diagnosed her as having borderline personality disorder. This sounds to me to be very similar to what your daughter is doing. They act like they have different personalities, they are often substance abusers, they can get psychotic to the point of delusions and hallucinations both auditory and visual. They often act or are ADHD. There are a few pretty good books out that you may want to check into. I don't mean to push any buttons by this statement, but do you know if your husband abused/ neglected/ ignored your daughter? That is a big sign, but not all borderlines have that component. The big thing is that they are OFTEN misdiagnosed because they have symptoms of so many different mental issues and may in fact actually have more then one. It is treatable! IF it is in fact borderline and you can get her to someone who understands and knows how to treat it. I wish you the best and hope that this may help. I just re-read your question more carefully. She did have a tramatic event regarding here father- he passed away. That could be enough to set this off. Good luck to you and I wish you both well!
How do you tell a loved one they are an alcoholic?
with out causing and all out family war, and how do you help them, with out making a big deal about hte situation (might scare her away from trying to stop)?How do you tell a loved one they are an alcoholic?
It's really important that you are there for her. The number one reason why people stay sober is that they want to and they have the support of loved ones like you. I am an alcoholic, I have been sober almost six years. I am also an Addictions Therapist, I work with veterans. I got sober because I started hanging around people who were in Alcoholics Anonymous. I saw how happy they were with their lives and I wanted that too. Maybe you can tell her your concerns and offer to go to a meeting with her. There are open meetings that family and friends can go to and then there are closed meetings that are just for alcoholics.
If you think she will be upset if you approach her then approach her alone. If you think she is willing to hear this from the whole family then you can plan an intervention. Whichever way you choose to approach her make sure that you are using a lot of ';I feel'; statements and not ';you you you'; statements. Because you don't want to personally attack her. Listed below are questions she can ask herself. Good luck.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can.
Yes or No:
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?
6. Have you had financial difficulties as a result of your drinking?
7. Do you turn to inferior companions and environments when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since you began drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since you began drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or troubles?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a loss of memory as a result of drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution as a result of your drinking?
(A 20 question test from the most prestigious health care facility in the world--Johns Hopkins Hospital)How do you tell a loved one they are an alcoholic?
when they start loving alcohol more than you.
I have family died because of that.
First sit down and talk with them, maybe over a few bottles of scotch
There's no easy or polite way to do it. Go to a place where everyone involved will be comfortable. Explain that you are not meaning to inflict pain on the person, but you love them very much and want them to get help.
Trust me. This person knows they are an alcoholic. You need to love them from a distance. When they get drunk, simply tell them that you can't be around them when they are like that and walk away. For your own sanity. You can't get the person help if they don't want to stop. You can't threaten them or force them. Even if you could get them admitted to a hospital for a little while, do you think they will respond well to that? No. They will be mad as hell.
Intervention
You go up to them and you go 'What the f***ing hell is wrong with you Asshole!?!??!? Do you WANT to die?
Easy as that!
they will have to go into treatment probly at a mental hospital. basically just tell them. i have had a lot of help but i drink i hope she makes it - i won't
It's really important that you are there for her. The number one reason why people stay sober is that they want to and they have the support of loved ones like you. I am an alcoholic, I have been sober almost six years. I am also an Addictions Therapist, I work with veterans. I got sober because I started hanging around people who were in Alcoholics Anonymous. I saw how happy they were with their lives and I wanted that too. Maybe you can tell her your concerns and offer to go to a meeting with her. There are open meetings that family and friends can go to and then there are closed meetings that are just for alcoholics.
If you think she will be upset if you approach her then approach her alone. If you think she is willing to hear this from the whole family then you can plan an intervention. Whichever way you choose to approach her make sure that you are using a lot of ';I feel'; statements and not ';you you you'; statements. Because you don't want to personally attack her. Listed below are questions she can ask herself. Good luck.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them as honestly as you can.
Yes or No:
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?
6. Have you had financial difficulties as a result of your drinking?
7. Do you turn to inferior companions and environments when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since you began drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since you began drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or troubles?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a loss of memory as a result of drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution as a result of your drinking?
(A 20 question test from the most prestigious health care facility in the world--Johns Hopkins Hospital)How do you tell a loved one they are an alcoholic?
when they start loving alcohol more than you.
I have family died because of that.
First sit down and talk with them, maybe over a few bottles of scotch
There's no easy or polite way to do it. Go to a place where everyone involved will be comfortable. Explain that you are not meaning to inflict pain on the person, but you love them very much and want them to get help.
Trust me. This person knows they are an alcoholic. You need to love them from a distance. When they get drunk, simply tell them that you can't be around them when they are like that and walk away. For your own sanity. You can't get the person help if they don't want to stop. You can't threaten them or force them. Even if you could get them admitted to a hospital for a little while, do you think they will respond well to that? No. They will be mad as hell.
Intervention
You go up to them and you go 'What the f***ing hell is wrong with you Asshole!?!??!? Do you WANT to die?
Easy as that!
they will have to go into treatment probly at a mental hospital. basically just tell them. i have had a lot of help but i drink i hope she makes it - i won't
How do you deal with manipulative mother?
She is the worst. she is in politics. she has been manipulating me since i was born. she thinks and has even said 'everything belongs to me' and at the age of 20 after flying the coup so to speak she barges her way into my house in another state cleaning and says out of the blue 'you have to give us some control'. she made my sister a sociopath. how do i get out of the hell she has created? thanks.
ps. my father is alcoholic dolt.How do you deal with manipulative mother?
You need to set strong boundaries and don't give her an inch. Power is her god. if she still persists move and don't tell her where you moved to. I've done that with some relatives (even if I see them in a store or somewhere, I will never give them my address) and my life is a lot calmer. she won't go away call the police, you are legal age and have a right to your own life. And I hate to say it, but if she is in politics it wouldn't look so pretty to tell your story about her publicly.How do you deal with manipulative mother?
Hire someone to give it to her really good and hard doggie style.
try managing her life. drop in at her house and start makin things the way you want. should piss her off.
tell her how u feel wen she is fortunately hurt get her a job in china
Stand up to her. I'd call the cops if someone barged into my house. She'd learn real quick.
If it comes down to it........get a restraining order. When you say she is in politics, does that mean she work in politics? She would really not look good having a restraining order against her by her own child. Have you confronted her about this. Have you told her to mind her own business? Tell her to cut the cord already that she is ruining the relationship between the two of you and if she wants to continue to have any kind of relationship with you she should back off and let you live your life.
You have to set boundaries. If she over goes your boundaries you need to tell her you don't want to see her until she respects you and treats you like an adult. If she does not listen, you need to cut communications with her until she does. If she breaks into your house or goes in your house without permission then you need to warn her that your going to have the cops over next time she does that. Get a restraining order and have her relise that your, your own person and your life is yours and she can not have control.
just tell her to f*ck off from your life, obviously from how you've described her it will be a miracle if she listened to you and did - so you got to get away from her as far as possible i have a similar mother but not the same kind of stuff and your 20 man you should be able to free yourself from your mother now, one day maybe she'll understand you if you just get away from her then she'll have to listen otherwise i don't see it happening because your her child she will never listen to you, parents always treat their children as inferior naturally.
You have to talk to her and set some boundaries. You are an adult now. At first she will probably be really angry, so expect that. She will eventually get over it, if she wants you in her life. If she doesn't change, then you might have to cut ties with her at least for a little while. You can't have her mess up your life and your sanity. I don't talk to my father at all. I know if I did, I would probably be in a mental institution. Just because someone is family it doesn't mean they can treat you any old way they feel like.
damn that sounds frustrating .... I've had to stop talking to my mother completely .... and had to move a couple thousand kilometers away ....
ps. my father is alcoholic dolt.How do you deal with manipulative mother?
You need to set strong boundaries and don't give her an inch. Power is her god. if she still persists move and don't tell her where you moved to. I've done that with some relatives (even if I see them in a store or somewhere, I will never give them my address) and my life is a lot calmer. she won't go away call the police, you are legal age and have a right to your own life. And I hate to say it, but if she is in politics it wouldn't look so pretty to tell your story about her publicly.How do you deal with manipulative mother?
Hire someone to give it to her really good and hard doggie style.
try managing her life. drop in at her house and start makin things the way you want. should piss her off.
tell her how u feel wen she is fortunately hurt get her a job in china
Stand up to her. I'd call the cops if someone barged into my house. She'd learn real quick.
If it comes down to it........get a restraining order. When you say she is in politics, does that mean she work in politics? She would really not look good having a restraining order against her by her own child. Have you confronted her about this. Have you told her to mind her own business? Tell her to cut the cord already that she is ruining the relationship between the two of you and if she wants to continue to have any kind of relationship with you she should back off and let you live your life.
You have to set boundaries. If she over goes your boundaries you need to tell her you don't want to see her until she respects you and treats you like an adult. If she does not listen, you need to cut communications with her until she does. If she breaks into your house or goes in your house without permission then you need to warn her that your going to have the cops over next time she does that. Get a restraining order and have her relise that your, your own person and your life is yours and she can not have control.
just tell her to f*ck off from your life, obviously from how you've described her it will be a miracle if she listened to you and did - so you got to get away from her as far as possible i have a similar mother but not the same kind of stuff and your 20 man you should be able to free yourself from your mother now, one day maybe she'll understand you if you just get away from her then she'll have to listen otherwise i don't see it happening because your her child she will never listen to you, parents always treat their children as inferior naturally.
You have to talk to her and set some boundaries. You are an adult now. At first she will probably be really angry, so expect that. She will eventually get over it, if she wants you in her life. If she doesn't change, then you might have to cut ties with her at least for a little while. You can't have her mess up your life and your sanity. I don't talk to my father at all. I know if I did, I would probably be in a mental institution. Just because someone is family it doesn't mean they can treat you any old way they feel like.
damn that sounds frustrating .... I've had to stop talking to my mother completely .... and had to move a couple thousand kilometers away ....
Can you recommend any books for alcoholic's spouse?
My friend is married to an alcoholic for all her life. I really want to help her get through this because she's always sad and stressed about the whole situation. She loves him and he loves her and divorce is not an option. Could you please recommend any good books on how she can deal with her husband alcoholism and stay happy?
Thank you so much!Can you recommend any books for alcoholic's spouse?
If he loves here, he should go to AA. It is really hard to do it on your own. I know someone very close to me that refuses to go to AA, but can't do it alone.
Here are some sites:
http://www.aa.org/
http://owensound.kijiji.ca/c-buy-and-sel鈥?/a>
books:
http://www.amazon.ca/Alcoholics-Story-Th鈥?/a>
http://www.amazon.com/My-Top-12-Books-Al鈥?/a>Can you recommend any books for alcoholic's spouse?
The Waldorf Bar Book
Get her in touch with Alanon, they have lots of materials.
She can better deal with his alcoholism by getting support. Al-Anon can help.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.h鈥?/a>
This book changed my life.
THE ALCOHOLISM AND ADDICTION CURE: A Holistic Approach to Total Recovery
by Chris Prentis
http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8%26amp;location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FALCOHOLISM-ADDICTION-CURE-Holistic-Approach%2Fdp%2F0943015545%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1221189185%26sr%3D8-8%26amp;tag=homebrewextre-20%26amp;linkCode=ur2%26amp;camp=1789%26amp;creative=9325
I'm ';technically'; a heavy drinker myself and my mom was her whole life, but she never turned to alcoholism, and I'm Thankful I didn't touch the stuff until I was 20 (practically legal). The thought of booze during the day makes me wanna puke.
But I have went on long enough benders (i.e. 8pm to 6am) a few nights in a row before where one day I woke up internally jittery and it SUCKED. I could see why people would fix it with alcohol to make it even, but I just went on a 7 hour walk. I don't want alcohol to break even, only to get a buzz and for the nice taste when life sucks.
He can try to cut back without being addicted to the stuff, which can be possible for some so they deal with withdrawals slowly, but depending how severe he'll most likely need to be hospitalized in rehab.
My uncle was a bad smoker, alcoholic for many years and went through rehab 7 times with bad seizures. But he hated his life, and I think he drank himself to suicide or a 'freak accident' with the story he burned himself and house down by passing out with a lit cigarette and it burned the house and he was too drunk to wake up from the flames.
My dad was a really bad alcoholic (never smoked tank God, it makes a difference), but he was to the point he stopped eating. recovered first rehab and been sober for 20+ years. However, he does indulge elsewhere now like bad diet and some script stuff, but I guess it's lesser of two evils.
Oh and btw, once in rehab, chances are he'll be px'ed vikatin and stuff to avoid overly bad seizures, but the problem is this stuff can be addictive too (like House!).
Okay im 17 and I have an alcoholic stepmom and she thinks shes always right i dont know how to deal?
I think i am going to go insane if I have to live with my stepmom any longer. I also live with my dad but he is always working so she thinks she can control my life plus she can act really crazy and mean alot I just want to scream alot of the times. Me and her got into an argument last night because I called her an annoying drunk because she wasnt being nice at all so when I got home that night she was waiting in my room and started cussing and yelling at me and told me not to wake my dad and she took my car keys and cell phone away which she had no control over shes not my mom! So my dad woke up a few minutes later and I yelled and said that she was trying to control me which didnt really do anything so I left and went to my bfs. I just need some help on how to deal with her!Okay im 17 and I have an alcoholic stepmom and she thinks shes always right i dont know how to deal?
I would strongly suggest you join your local Al-Anon and Alateen. They will help you get out of the games your mom plays on you.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
I'd say move in with your dad, or if you have a good friend, you might be able to live with them. At 17, the law gives you a good amount of say in where you live.Okay im 17 and I have an alcoholic stepmom and she thinks shes always right i dont know how to deal?
Well, it's her house now and she does have authority too. Just try to be nice...whether she is or not. Humble people will be rewarded. However, you should maybe talk to her when she is not drunk and try to tell her how you feel.
Have you tried talking with your dad about your situation? Where is your mom?Are you working? If you do have a job, stay with your mom until you can save enough money to get your own place. Being 17, I should think that you would be responsible enough. Try talking to your step-mom when she is sober, she just may surprise you. If not, then make it your goal to leave ASAP......Good luck
wow.youre 17 and you have a car? things must be terrible for you. boo hoo. poor baby. youre almost 18. why dont you move in with your man, and live in the real world. chances are you will find it even more 'unfair'.
I would strongly suggest you join your local Al-Anon and Alateen. They will help you get out of the games your mom plays on you.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
I'd say move in with your dad, or if you have a good friend, you might be able to live with them. At 17, the law gives you a good amount of say in where you live.Okay im 17 and I have an alcoholic stepmom and she thinks shes always right i dont know how to deal?
Well, it's her house now and she does have authority too. Just try to be nice...whether she is or not. Humble people will be rewarded. However, you should maybe talk to her when she is not drunk and try to tell her how you feel.
Have you tried talking with your dad about your situation? Where is your mom?Are you working? If you do have a job, stay with your mom until you can save enough money to get your own place. Being 17, I should think that you would be responsible enough. Try talking to your step-mom when she is sober, she just may surprise you. If not, then make it your goal to leave ASAP......Good luck
wow.youre 17 and you have a car? things must be terrible for you. boo hoo. poor baby. youre almost 18. why dont you move in with your man, and live in the real world. chances are you will find it even more 'unfair'.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)