I think I have to dump my friend --- please advise....?

I have a good friend - who I really like, but I found out that she was lying to me for months.



About a year ago she got herself involved with a roommate who occupied another room in a flat where she was staying. I have supportively listened to her complain about his drunkenness, self-sabotage, drug usage, depression, and how he has abused and used her --- especially to the tune of at least 2000 bucks in a month (that is what she will admit to - I know there is probably more) as I watched her fall deeper and deeper into codendency with this looser. I was there for tears, anger, advice --- basically I was a good friend --- even though it got tiring sometimes and I felt like she was nuts.



I stood by her side, listened to her complain, helped her find her own apartment so that she could rid herself of this mess and have peace. Two months later ---last week when she got her keys...she started acting funny, avoiding me..... today, the day she is supposed to move in ---- I find out that she is putting me off, because she is bringing HIM to stay with her (rent free) because ';he has no place else to go'; and telling me how she can't just throw him out,etc.....



I am of two minds --- first mind says ';she really wants you as a friend and she lied to you because she is embarrassed and desperate---- be her friend, give her time, she needs support';



the other mind says

';you deserve friends who are honest and authentic. You are a 34 year old adult child of an alcoholic who has dealt with liars and enablers and codependents all your life. She is triggering you. Send her an email and tell her that you understand her decisions but this is too difficult for you. You deserve health and drama free friends.';



I had a feeling all-along that she was just going to bring this guy with her...and I begged her not to do it. She told me that she wouldn't, that she couldn't. .she hung out with me probably 10 times and lied to me to my face. I know she lied to me because she is desperate --I don't really have hurt feelings about that....I am just more disgusted with her choices and lifestyle and I feel like this stuff is triggering serious boundary issues for me......



Advice? What do I tell her?

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I think I have to dump my friend --- please advise....?
Listen to you 'other mind' and break this cycle. for your sanity you have to keep your distance from this. you dont have to be mean, mad, or rude to her. just make it plain that you deserve friends who wont use and lie to you. YOU DONT DESERVE FRIENDS WHO USE OR LIE TO YOU. You deserve healthy relationships. give this friend time find this for herself as well.I think I have to dump my friend --- please advise....?
If i were you i would stay her friend. Its her dumb decision not yours. She'll regret it one day.



answer mine please:



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