okay so last march my mom was in a car accident (she had been drinking) and was in the hospital for about 2 weeks...well she is taking ard classes and taking some other classes to see if she is depressed or whatever... well anyhow she is constantly drinking again and i cant deal with it. i have tried talking to her and talking to my dad about it as well as other family members.. i just dont know how to cope with this. i dont want to see her wreck again ang get killed this time. i dont want to lose my parents at the age of 20... what should i do?Alcoholic??
There is little you can do.
I used to drink, also, and had a car accident because of it. I was in the hospital for five months, they didn't know if i would make it.
I no longer drink, and won't.
The best thing YOU can do is try Alanon, hon. Alanon is a support group for those of us whose lives have been affected by an alcoholic. You will be surprised to learn that others are going through the same things you are.... i hope you will consider it. they also have a website - please see below.
take care of YOU. I'm really sorry for your pain.Alcoholic??
get her help but you cant help someone who dont want to help their self so good luck
gosh I hate that. my dad is an alcoholic and I am stuck with the same problem. I hope to read some of the answers others give you =)
flush all of the acholhol down the toilet then send her to re-hab.
Unfortuntately there isn't much you can do at all my dad's an alcoholic so i know what I'm talking about but all you can say is I wish you'd stop and tell them how it makes you feel you can't change them I learned that a while ago
Love her... TELL her you love her... Realize she has a disease...Ask her to get help... And Pray to God she does... Good Luck and my prayers are with you
Find where the nearest Alanon meeting is in your area and attend a meeting.
The directors and other people who go will understand more than anyone what you are going through and can help you best.
Good luck, and believe me go to the meeting.
get a counciler or get some help for your mom i am soo srry that's terrible! it's ok to cry by the by
Get help.....like...now...
Go to a meeting. Also Im praying for your mom you and your family.
Go to this site. It will help you get a handle on what you can do and what you have to accept that you can't do.
All the best.....
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Well ask if she can go to a rehab or a treatment to get help not just for herself but for her family that loves her very much. Then go from there, just explain to her that you want her to get help because you love her and can't see your future without her and that you need her.
WOW ive never been in a situation like this niether my family but i would request to not let her go out without someone that u trust next 2 her.
maybe you should spend some time with your mom doing some fun stuff like going to the mall playing game or something like that.Talk to her and let her know how you feel, but be careful not to make it sound like you are judging her maybe.choose your words carefully, let her know hat you love her.
there are group sessions
for family or friends of alcoholics
I think it is called
alanon????
google search it! and good luck
Ask her if her being an alcoholic will make you one.
Perhaps that will rattle her cage a little.
have you told her, that you dont want to lose her, due to a wreck, or other alcohol related things?
I used to work at a Drug and alcohol treatment center. on sundays the students would go around and speak to groups about where they were, and where their addiction took them. many ended up with multiple dwi's and alot of jail time to do, but in court, the judge allowed them to go to this treatment center.
ive worked with guys that lost wives, kids, mothers, fathers, houses, 6 figure jobs, because they saw alcohol as more important than everything else.
ask your mom, ';what is more important to you?'; tell her, that you are afraid for her, that you love her, and if you dont know what you would do without her, tell her that.
if you think she needs help, start looking around. i worked at a teen challenge center, its not just for teens,
mainly you need to love the snot out of her, and dont give up.
if you're the praying type, do that also, and again dont give up.
Contnue to be happy, and who you are. Solutions will flow through time.
The only person you can change is you. Get yourself some counseling so that you know your own life is healthy and well adjusted. Your local Alcohol Anonymous will probably have Al Anon meetings for families of alcoholics. If you can talk Dad into going, he should as well.
Don't do anything that enables her drinking. If she is too drunk, hide the keys or take the car and leave without her. Don't call her boss or cover for her.
She may well be depressed. If you think she is suicidal, you can possibly have her committed. Talk to someone in a rehab to find out what you can and can not do. Your local district attorney's office may also have someone you can talk to.
Her drinking might put her in violation of her court ordered treatment. The thing best to do is let her have the consequences of her drinking herself. If you are financially independent it may well be time to move out and begin living a separate life. You can't make her sober. Only she can do that.
Good luck.
According to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD), there are nearly 14 million Americans who are considered problem drinkers (including 8 million who have alcoholism) and 76 million people who are exposed to alcoholism in family settings. Although these rates show a huge number of problem drinkers, they also show that people who live with alcoholic family members are not alone.
Why Does My Parent Drink?
Alcoholism is a disease. Like any disease, it needs to be treated. Without professional help, an alcoholic will probably continue to drink and may even become worse over time.
Just like any other disease, alcoholism is no one's fault. Some people who live with alcoholics blame themselves for their loved one's drinking. But the truth is, because of their disease, alcoholics would drink anyway. If your parent drinks, it won't change anything if you do better in school, help more around the house, or do any of the other things you may believe your parent wants you to do.
Other people may tell themselves that their parents drink because of some other problem, such as having a rough time at work or being out of work altogether. Parents may be having marital problems, financial problems, or someone may be sick. But even if an alcoholic parent has other problems, nothing you can do will make things better. The person with the drinking problem has to take charge of it. No one else can help an alcoholic get well.
Why Won't My Parent Stop Drinking?
Denial can play a big role in an alcoholic's life. A person in denial is one who refuses to believe the truth about a situation. A problem drinker may blame another person for the drinking because it is easier than taking responsibility for it. Some alcoholic parents make their kids feel bad by saying things like, ';You're driving me crazy!'; or ';I can't take this anymore.';
An alcoholic parent may become enraged at the slightest suggestion that drinking is a problem. Those who acknowledge their drinking may show their denial by saying, ';I can stop anytime I want to,'; ';Everyone drinks to unwind sometimes,'; or ';My drinking is not a problem.';
Why Do I Feel So Bad?
If you're like most teens, your life is probably filled with emotional ups and downs, regardless of what's happening at home. Add a parent with a drinking problem to this tumultuous time and a person's bound to feel overwhelmed. Teens with alcoholic parents might feel anger, sadness, embarrassment, loneliness, helplessness, and a lack of self-esteem.
These emotions can be triggered by the added burdens of living with an alcoholic parent. For example, many alcoholics behave unpredictably, and kids who grow up around them may spend a lot of energy trying to feel out a parent's mood or guess what he or she wants. One day you might walk on eggshells to avoid an outburst because the dishes aren't done or the lawn isn't mowed; the next day, you may find yourself comforting a parent who promises that things will be better.
There may be problems paying the bills, having your mom or dad show up for important events, and you may even have to take care of younger siblings, too. The pressure to manage these situations in addition to your own life 鈥?and maybe take care of younger siblings, too 鈥?can leave you exhausted and drained.
Although alcoholism causes similar patterns of damage to many families, each situation is unique. Some parents with alcohol problems might abuse their children emotionally or physically. Others neglect their kids by not providing sufficient care and guidance. Parents with alcohol problems may also use other drugs. Your family may have money troubles.
Although each family is different, teens with alcoholic parents almost always report feeling alone, unloved, depressed, or burdened by the secret life they lead at home. Because it's not possible to control the behavior of an alcoholic, what can a person do to feel better?
What Can I Do?
Teenage children of alcoholics are at a higher risk of becoming alcoholics themselves. Acknowledging the problem and reaching out for support can help ensure that your future does not repeat your parent's past.
Acknowledge the problem. An parent who is a problem drinker is never your fault. Many kids of alcoholics try to hide the problem or find themselves telling lies to cover up for a parent's drinking. Admitting that your parent has a problem 鈥?even if he or she won't 鈥?is the first step in taking control.
Being aware of how your parent's drinking affects you can help put things in perspective. For example, some teens who live with alcoholic adults become afraid to speak out or show any normal anger or emotion because they worry it may trigger a parent's drinking binge.
Clearly, hiding your feelings can create its own set of problems. Acknowledging feelings of anger or resentment 鈥?even if it's just to yourself or a close friend 鈥?can help protect against this. Recognizing the emotions that go with the problem also can help you from burying your feelings and pretending that everything's OK.
Likewise, realizing that you are not the cause of a parent's drinking problem can help you feel better about yourself.
Find support. It's good to share your feelings with a friend, but it's equally important to talk to an adult you trust. A school counselor, favorite teacher, or coach may be able to help. Some teens turn to their school D.A.R.E. (Drug and Alcohol Resistance Education) officer, whereas others find a sympathetic uncle or aunt.
Because alcoholism is such a widespread problem, several organizations offer confidential support groups and meetings for people living with alcoholics. Al-Anon, an organization designed to help the families and friends of alcoholics, has a group called Alateen that is specifically geared to young people living with adults who have drinking problems. Alateen is not only for children of alcoholics, it can also help teens whose parents may already be in recovery. The group Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) also offers a variety of programs and resources for people living with alcoholics.
You're not betraying your parent by seeking help. Keeping ';the secret'; is part of the disease of alcoholism 鈥?and it allows the problems to get worse. As with any disease, it's still possible to love a parent with alcoholism while recognizing the problems that he or she has. And it's not disloyal to seek help in dealing with the problems your parent's drinking create for you. In fact, taking care of yourself is what your dad or mom would want you to do if he or she could think about it clearly
My mom has the same problem. If you want her to listen, write a letter to her telling you how you feel. Start it off with ';I love being around you, but when you are drunk and drinking, I don't feel that way.'; or something like this. If you try to talk to her she most likely wont listen. End the letter with ';I'm looking for rehabs because I love you and I don't want to lose you. Please get better.'; She will realize the harm the alchohol is doing and try to stop. If not, get her to rehab. You may think your hurting her, but it's the best.
You can't convince alcoholics.....they have to figure out on their own. It is an addiction, just like any other drug, and you can't take it away and expect them to stop. She needs to be in AA, but she has to want to do it. I doesn't sound like she wants to quit. Have you or your family talked about trying an intervention??? Maybe if the whole family gets together and lets her know that she is making everyone miserable.....she would consider.
Make sure u monitor her whenever she has money,and wen she goes 2 stores...convince her to stop..tell her she has a family that luvs her,and try to tell her wut it can do to her.Alot of alcohol can fill up ur liver and flesh out into ur blood stream and kill u. Mayb u can hav ur dad send her 2 rehab ,u knw if he cares about ur mother's health. good luck 2 ya...
Write her a letter telling her how you feel. Put the letter in a picture frame and give it to her. Tell her that this is a memory if something should happen to her because of her drinking. good luck
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