I am pregnant and married to an alcoholic, I know I need a divorce, I just don't know how to deal with this!!!

This year I found the one person who I thought could make me happy, a few months later I found out I was pregnant and we went and got married. Ever since I met him he had always been a drinker but after getting married his drinking got worse and worse. He got to where he wouldn't come home at night, especially on pay days and would spend his checks by the next day. I would come home from work and he would be totally plastured. Everyone kept telling me he was an alcoholic, but not only him but I too was in denial. Finally one night of not coming home I had him chose, you either get help or we get divorced. He said he wanted to get th help because he realized he had the problem and no longer wanted to put his family in jeopardy. Well we finally did the AA meetings and I got to where I started keeping all the money. He found a job with the insurance our family needed. Well last week his alcohlism caused him to loose his job and got arrested for drugs too. I am just pregnant and scared....I am pregnant and married to an alcoholic, I know I need a divorce, I just don't know how to deal with this!!!
I feel your pain truly, I survived your situation.

The pain your going thru now will be so much worse after your baby is here. Spare your child the lifestyle your husband has chosen.

Your not alone, their are many women having to raise a child alone. Have yourself a good cry and find that strength we women and moms have. Its there, pull it out for you and the baby.

Trust me, you will get thru it. When you see your child, that will be when your life starts again. A happy mom and a happy child, think about twice the love you can give your baby.

No doubt its scary but not as scary as the life you have now.

e-mail me if you need to talk.I am pregnant and married to an alcoholic, I know I need a divorce, I just don't know how to deal with this!!!
I would suggest Al-Anon first and then see if you can get some help from family members either his or your own.
So now you need to ask yourself....is this the man I want to live with the rest of my life? Not as he might be...but as he is right now.



I know it can be scary to face the truth. But fantasies of anyone in our life changing themselves to suit us are doomed to repeated failures. I'm sorry for you. I truly believe you deserve something more.
I was in your situation and afraid to leave, until I asked myself what is the worst thing that could happen if I left. Figured out that the worst would be losing my job, him not paying child support and having to go into a shelter till I got myself sorted out and could support my 3 kids. When I decided that was a better alternative than living with an abusive drunk, I kicked him out. None of those things happened. Al-Anon helped some. Good luck to you!
Find a family crisis center, they can help you with everything....
No matter WHAT you do, get YOURSELF in Al-Anon. It's for people who are with an alcoholic. You might find that you've been enabling him. That's called co-dependent. If he's been abusive to you, get in a group for victims of domestic violence, too. These two groups will help you take care of yourself, whether you choose to stay or go. Beyond that, all I can say is, if you pray, then do that. If you don't, then at least get yourself a good support system and people/places you can go when he's been drinking. He needs to hit rock bottom before he does anything to change that.

My brother-in-law died at 25 years old, from drinking.
You don't offer an email, or I would have sent this via email, so I apologize for the length of this message.

Children of alcoholics usually either become chemically dependent themselves or marry alcoholics. I know you want more for your baby than your situation.

You say you know what must happen. It won't happen until you're ready. The best thing to do is look at the links I'm sending you. You aren't the first or the last to go through this, but just think about your baby's life.

Good luck.

PS If you do get out, the state offers ways to help you, like getting your tmeporary insurance for you and your baby an also for formula. Contact WIC for more information.