PLEASE PLEASE help me, advice is nice. (I'm crying so much...read on please)?

I'm getting overly depressed and I need some advice on how to deal with my abusive alcoholic father. Tonight I can't stop crying. So if you have had a similar experience, how did you get through it? PLEASE HELP ME!PLEASE PLEASE help me, advice is nice. (I'm crying so much...read on please)?
Being baptised or having communions do not make you a christian. Just simply going to a church does not put God into your heart, or make you saved. It is a promise you have to make, and keep in your heart. It is okay for you to pray, and to talk to God if you want to. I mean, you can do it, hiding under the covers of your bed, if you think that is the only place you feel safe praying. The important thing is to make sure you talk to God, and to be completely open and honest about everything in your heart and mind when you talk to Him. What is happening to you is not your fault in anyway, and I am sorry to hear that you have so much bad stuff going on around you. Even if you do end up crying a ton, and getting a little bit of runny makeup, maybe it would be helpful if you do at least talk to the school counselor, or maybe even a teacher if you feel too scared to the counselor. Just so long as it is someone you trust, and can feel safe talking to. Anyway, I will be sure to add you to my own prayers, and ask God to help you if you would like me to. If you click on my name, there is a link on my profile where you can also email me if you want to ask me anything about like how to pray or anything else. Anyway, I will be sure to keep you in my prayers!PLEASE PLEASE help me, advice is nice. (I'm crying so much...read on please)?
For starters this is not your fault I will try to help you just give me a sec





First off let me tell you that I came from the same type family. My father was a alcoholic and eventually my mother became one and it ended very badly with my brother shooting and killing my father in our front yard while I watched. Im not telling you this to scare you just to let you know what could happen.





I know it is impossible to talk with someone who has been drinking. I have several suggestions. When your mom is sober try talking to her and letting her know how you feel. If you feel like you can't talk to your mom then is there another family member you can talk to maybe an older sibling or aunt or someone that you trust to confide in. Don't give up. Find someone you can trust to talk to. I don't know how you feel but for me it. I couldnt talk to anyone but my family about it. I was afraid I would have been taken from my home, even though that would have probably been the best thing for me I was very scared of that because I had never know any other way of life and even though sometimes it was bad. I would have just died if someone from child services had tried to take me away from my home. But let that be an option for you if you think you need to leave. You can contact your local police dept or Sheriffs Dept and they will help you as well.





It is good that you stay out of your fathers way when he has been drinking. Try to stay out as much as possible.





Pray for your family, pray for God to deliver your parents from alcohol abuse. Have friends pray for you and your family. I will pray as well for you. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. If you need more help or to talk to someone my email is jusbizness403@yahoo.com.





I know this is upsetting and I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Good Luck





Also if you have someone you can stay with alot that may help as well. Stay out as much as you can. I know my parents never knew even if I was there most of the time. But do talk to someone whom you can trust not to do something you don't them to do.
He's alcoholic. That means he must NOT be a very good person. You can try to go talk to your teachers. I mean, teachers they do care about you, since your only 14.
d0 wutever u kan 2 get t0 a church and get inv0lved if u have any frinds wh0 g0 2 church try 2 g0 with them, this is the BEST way f0r u 2 talk 2 G0d learn ab0ut him and undertand His W0rd s0 that u kan understnad wut 2 d0 in ur situati0n


i w0uld jus say t0 stay away fr0m them when this happens and if u trust ur frinds u sh0uld 0pen up t0 them
I wish you could come live with me sweetie! You should talk to a school counselor, a friends parents, a social worker, or anyone who is an adult you can trust.
Please go to the school counselor. Tell the counselor your situation. You should not have to live like that. If you can't go to the school counselor, call a relative, and ask them to help you.
I was beat as achild too. try talking to other family members and see if you could stay with an aunt or uncle etc.. if he is abusive or even verbal he will never change unless he hits rock bottom. you dont need to wait around for that... its not your fault, its a disease, but if your that upset and think your in danger, try to stay with someone else..
talk to your teacher at school , or some one at church. or a family member don't keep this to yourself. this is delicate. good luck
Oh my gosh, honey. I'm now in tears as this was my life until I met my husband. My Dad drank all the time and my Mom was abused also. She, too, didn't drive due to nervousness and is mentally ill because of my Dad.





Is there anyone you trust? I know how it is about going to a family member. You probably feel that if you tell them how you feel, they will go to your parents, and your parents will come to you. Beleive me, I know how that is.





Is there anyone that you trust? I know that you don't want to go to the school counselor, but honey you need to talk to someone. They WILL keep it confidential unless you have been or currently are getting physically hurt.





I know how it is living in a house like you have. I really do. What kept me sane is getting out as much as possible. Do your parents allow you to go out? Do they care if you go out? Lock yourself in your room when you're home and put earphones on to drown out the noise or if you have a television in your room put that on really loud.





At fourteen, you could babysit and get some interaction with people that way. The family that you watch children for doesn't have to know about your home life...they just have to know that you're trustworthy and will do everything to protect their children while they are away. You could walk dogs, help a neighbor, put up a sign in local places on what you're willing to do (if your parents will allow this), etc. If you can, save up as much money as you can now (I know this is hard at fourteen, but try to limit your spending) so you can move out at eighteen and start a NEW and HEALTHY life for yourself. Good Luck sweetie, I'll be thinking of you.
I feel so bad for you.....unfortunately i know how you feel. First off, i want to say.....none of this is your fault.....You need to find a family member you can really trust and let them help you, or a good friends parents and ask them for help. You cannot continue to try to remedy this by yourself or even on this site. Please, go see your school conselor. they are trained to deal with this, they can get you intouch with someone who can really help you...........you need help, your mom needs help, your dad needs help. I grew up in this environment and didnt do the things i should of done, now my mom is no longer with us. I feel like i coulda done more. First and foremost you gotta look out for yourself. Im so sorry you have to deal with all of this alone. . . . .. . remember. You didnt cause your parents to be this way and you didnt pick them. . . . . . none of this is your fault........i wish i could do more for you......Please be safe......and talk to someone, anyone.
Sweetie, I know you don't want to go to your school counselor but I really think that's the best thing for you. If you're afraid you're going to go in and cry your eyes out, print off what you just wrote on here and go to the office, hand it ot the counselor, and say, ';I really need your help.'; Let them know that your home life is affecting your school life and they will come running to help you.





Also, I know this sounds hard, but next time the abuse starts, PLEASE muster up the courage to call the police. It doesn't matter who starts it. Your parents are putting you in the middle of their battles and it's NOT ok. Things won't get better if nobody intervenes.





(((Hugs))) to you. I sincerely hope you will at least do what I suggested and take your Y!A question to the school counselor.
My advice to you is to call the cops and have your father arrested and put in a rehab center. It sounds harsh but that's the only way he is going to learn. Then I would advise you and your mom to move away and start a new life or move in with some other family members that are willing to take you in. Also I would recommend you and your mom go get counseling there is a place that could help you out alot I hope its in your area its called the Pillars community service I know for a fact its a great non for profit organization that will be able to help you.. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Remember he wont stop unless you put a stop to him..
Your mom and yourself has to get away from your dad. He is going to wind up hurting you two really bad! I am a recovering alcoholic,so I know what I'm talking about here. As long as he doesn't seek any professional help with his alcohol addiction. He will only get worse.





I really feel sorry for you. You shouldn't have to go through that kind of lifestyle at the age of 14. You two really need to get away as soon as possible. If he's not willing to change his life for his family,he's not worth the daily heartaches. Good luck to both of you.
AA has a program just for teens..this is for kids just like you, they could give you good advice and help you cope..You need a grandma..I am sorry you have to go through this,but tears or no tears a counselor could help you.give them a try.
boy i really feel for you this makes me cry i had the exact same life growing up. i am 48 now.it messed up my life for a long time. i went to years of counsling but after i became an adult and had my own children. please go to your school counsler or even call social services they can give you some good advice. some of the kids in my family became alcholics me on the other hand no way i hated so much i didnt want to be that way. i used to lay in bed at night crying wishing it would go away.you really need to call social services or see your school counsler. so what if you have make up smeared or red eyes you need to do something. trust me i wish i would of when i was young. it wouldnt of affected myso bad or as long i should say if i would of done something. please please keep me informed. at least i can listen. ive been there its no fun.
Hello %26lt;3,


Your parents have lived their life, and have bad habits that are difficult to change at theor age but you,you are 14, you are still young to change your life but too young to solve those things by yourself, it's enough !!!!i think you have taken too much go and see a counselor a psychologist ,just see somebody! don't be afraid things can't be worse ;( and don't worry, whatever your religion, God is the same and hears us all,


Take care of yourself and act now you need help so ask for help, talk to your counselor
...wow...that's alot...and I can definitely say ur not the only one going through hard times growing up...mmm...the only thing I can say will happen for sure is that if you educate yourself...read books...get involved with things...that will get you away from the problem...the truth about what ur going through will be learned...and easier to deal with...you can also ask your mom what she thinks...and how you might get ur dad into a ';rehab';..or ';away from it...';


...I know there isn't an easy answer but I am 100% sure you can find a way thru it by educating ur mind...ur thinking will get stronger as you lock onto something else with ur mind....the more you do it...the better you will get...the stronger you get...the better you'll feel...read the classics...and ur imagination will grow and so will you...ask ur librarian to guide you...good luck to you.


...It's not ur fault...ur jus a kid.


And ur dad is making a mistake that time will teach him is wrong...It can change 4 the better...but you hav to find the change...it's the hardest part...but it can be done.You can't be lazy about though...you hav to read your way thru it...it will get better.I know.=)
wow hon, i feel for you. reading that brought back a lot of painful memories of my childhood and teenage years. it was a rough road with my family.it was very difficult to have to go to school each day and concentrate without just wanting to break down in tears. and who can you go to? friends just don't seem to understand. it seems like nobody can.


here's what you do. you do your own thing. you do whatever it takes to get good grades. try not to worry yourself with there problems. be a good person to others. be extremely responsible. don't ever start drinking or doing drugs yourself. stay on the right track so that one day you can move out of the house a successful woman. and don't look back. they are living in there own nightmare and it's ashame that they have brought you into it. be strong and know that one day you will be away from it all. life can be better for you one day.


they at least provide you with a roof over your head. and you have to kind of convince yourself that it's all you need.


just make sure you don't start drinking or drugging and you will be okay.


good luck to you and try to keep your head up and your mind serene even if there is lots of negative noise in the background.


i turned out pretty well considering the lack of ';good'; parents.


you can too.
You really need to talk to someone you can trust. Is there a children's help hotline where you are from? Google it on the net and if so, you should call them NOW. It's confidential and they can really give you great advice. If not, PLEASE talk to a reliable adult, a teacher or someone in your family. The problem isn't just going to go away on it's own. If your mom and dad can't help eachother, then unfortunately you need to be the adult in the situation and try to help yourself. I know it's hard, just please try to be strong and reach out to someone you can talk to. It's the first step in healing yourself, and hopefully helping the situation. Good luck, you're in my thoughts.
First of all, don't feel bad for calling your self a Christian. A Christian is anyone who believes in Christ. Going to church and being baptized doesn't make you Christian. There are plenty of people who were baptized and even go to church and call themselves Christians, but have no love of God in them and wouldn't know Jesus if they fell over him. Keep your faith, you need it.


You made a comment about ';when you were a child'; honey you are still a child. You are only 14 years old, you can't fend for your self.





The next time your parents get drunk and fight, call the police, tell them you are afraid for your moms safety and your own. If you are lucky you may end up in the care of a relative who can provide a more stable environment. Your parents are truly incapable of being responsible parents due to their alcoholism. It is not your fault and I'm sorry to say but there isn't anything you can do to help them,........ you can only help your self!!!! Get out of there, and go to Al - ateen, it is a support group for teens of alcoholic parents. It is free, ask your counselor where to find one. You also should continue your counseling at school, I know you don't think it is doing any good because nothing is changing, but being able talk about it one on one is important for your well being.


Start making a plan for your life. What you want and how you will get there, and keep the faith. Good luck, Sara
I gave your question a star because I hope in some way other children in such situations would get to read this. And children who are not in such a situation would appreciate what they have :)





I cannot tell you I had grown up with such a father like yours. Mine was different. He was well educated, savy, sophisticated and ... very cunning. The type of guy who is the ideal husband and father in the society, but one who is selfish to the core deep down. I never knew he was being abusive or neglecting me when he was actually following his own hearts' desires and totaly neglecting me. He could actually be a Master for all the abusive fathers to teach them how to do it right and get away with it - You have NO Idea how that is.





I was beaten up, slippered, belted ... yeah ... when he was drunk. It lasted from the time when I was eleven years until I was sixteen. After that he knew he could not do anything to me. Even during the times he'd beat me, I suppose he did that knowing one day he'd not be able to treat me the way he did.





Let me get to the point: How was it during those days and how I came to this point in life?





1. I never went to Church, but I have a very good relationship with Christ. Going to Church, meeting people who were supposed to be 'counsellors' etc etc ... got me frustrated - I have a tendency of seeing how people treat other people who are lower than themselves, before I take advice or anything from them. And I did not like many many people. It is very difficult for me to open up with any body, because according to me - there is no market for my problems, I have to deal with it. I have to help myself. I've been this way from the time I was twelve!





2. FAITH. Trust me when I say it is not necessary to feel bad that u did not go to Church. Faith is not doing what is prescribed by the people. Go to God directly - Dont expect instant cure or instant doses or magic! No He does not work that way - I can tell you one thign but - He does not send you through thorny pathways without providing shoes for you.





3. Confidence and Patience: Be confident in yourself. You ARE STRONG. Know it. You DO NOT have to show your weakness out. Dont let the world see your tears. If you do have one person who understands you - ok. But if you dont - you dont have to feel bad. In my case I did not have. And those who did come, came and went... Be patient.





4. Study, work hard and smile. Its the most difficult. Its very difficult to concentrate. I know. I've been through it. I failed in academics. I was number one until I was in grade 7. Then I failed - was detained in grade 8 and again in grade 9! So, I know studies is the most difficult - but work on it. I did. I had to get over my own self loathing when I failed !!! But I did it. Today, I'm a teacher - and I am a competant teacher :) *I finished school with 89% and I completed my MBA in Finance in First Class :) - It was not all easy but hey, I made myself tough*





5. READ. I was into Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes, Agatha Christie, Sydney Sheldon, Arthur Haley ... now I still LOVE Harry Potter, Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons (I've read all of Dan Brown's Books) ... Asterix, Tin tin ... Archie, Jughead, Superman, Spidey .... I Love to read ... And I've also read the Bible :) I know God loves me, I dont expect Him to throw a fireball at my dad to prove His love for me, I dont expect my dad to change - I know he wont, I've sat till two in the morning trying to talk him out of his drinking ... while he sat and drank and drank and drank and drank!!!! He is still selfish and still will say - I have no money, while he has money to buy booze!





My experiences has made me the person I am today. Independant, strong, responsible and non judgemental ... Vengence is God's - He will make things beautiful in His time. Even in your life. Trust me. Dont feel bad, just place your trust in God, He works in mysterious ways. Smile. Dont let your dad ruin you. Take charge. Make your life. Dont give in to self pity. I did - and I lost three wonderful teen years.





I wish you Happiness even in this sad time - Smile, God loves you and He has His eye on you. Dont let Satan see your tears :)





God bless you.
Get a friend that is over the age of 18 to buy you a can of mace. When dad drinks and acts up, spray him with it. Stay out of veiw when you do it and get him soaked. 15% is the strongest you can get. 2% is legal. I have the 15%/ He'll have to be treated like a criminal from this point forward, since what he's doing is illegal. Mace him and call the police. Its time his behaviour is brought out into the open. If your mom won't press charges, you do. alright. It'll be hard, but get a restraining order against him. and stick to it. No one should have to grow up like that. I bet your moms dad and mom didn't have it in their minds that they wanted their little girl beat up nightly and abused like this.





Tell him you want your daddy back. The one that played with you on the floor and was so proud when you crawled and started walking. Bring up painful memories for him that will tug at his heart. Make him cry. make him promise. Get someone to take your mom to see her daddy. That's her daddy, not your fathers choice. Call a taxi or a bussing service. Just get her there without father.
Hello,


My name is Caroline and I am writing you from The Steve Wilkos Show at NBC Universal in Chicago. This show was created to help people going through serious problems. Steve is an ex-cop,ex-marine and is here to help you. I would like to fly you, your mom, dad and anyone else involved to Chicago, all expenses paid. You can confront your Dad here, with Steve's help and we can pay for counseling for anyone who needs it in your hometown after the show. Your Dad needs a reality check, and Steve can give him that. Please call toll free 877-836-3405.
You do need some help!!!! You need to get out of this situation as fast as possible. It is causing you major problems and problems that you are unaware of. Many can have life long negative effects!! I realize you love your parents but you need to save yourself because your parents are not capable of doing so!!! Please get help. I understand that you don't want to come out of the councelors office with running make up. Maybe you could wear waterproofm, or perhaps not wear any that day. Or maybe you could see the councelor at the end of the day. I feel that you need to call the police non emergency number to get help. But I understand if that is difficult for you to do. There are many teen help lines on the internet and perhaps you could get better educated advice from them and outlets that are local for you. Here is a web page that lists resources for each - state: www.teencertral.net, there is also 1-800-272-TEEN at www.neoteenhelp.org, they have teens and staff that can talk to you. There is also www.teenlineonline.org. You are in a very toxic situation and you need to get out of there and get help so you can heal!! If you stay there you will only become more and more depressed and have life long psycological problems! You also have to realize there probebly is going to be a time where you will be physcially abused as well. It just hasn't happened yet. Please, Please, Please get yourself some help. Talk to the councelor, go to the police, call or go online to the teen help lines!! Do not feel like you are not a good christian!!! It's not all about being baptised! GOD knows your situation and clearly understands! But most importantly God KNOWS YOUR HEART!!! Do not turn away form him keep praying praying praying! Don't stop!!


I wish there was more I can do for you! My heart bleads for you. PLEASE SEEK FURTHER HELP!!
If I say things you have already said, please forgive me. I didn't read your whole question as I have been where you are, and I know only details are different.


There is a 12 step program called Al Anon. Find it and go to meetings regularly as possible, every day if possible. There you will find the answers you need, and the strategies you are in need of to survive. You will find no judgment from the others, they have been where you are, or they still are. Al Anon is for friends and families of alcoholics. They won't tell you what to do. They will tell you what has and hasn't worked for them. If someone tells you what to do, you are talking to the wrong member. They will tell you what you need to know so I will stop here, except to say this program can save your life and more importantly, your sanity. If you cannot find them, then find AA, they will know who to contact.


Blessed Be
I read your problem and then the answers you have already received. I was amazed to discover so many people who had the same problem as yours. They really gave you some good advice. Since I am not qualified to give you advice, I will just say to you that God loves you and we all are praying for you to find happiness.
I feel so sorry for you, you need to get out of that house do you have family you can go to that will care for you, if you don't, just go to the cops and tell them you can't go home anymore because of your father and who ever, they will try there best to help you. I was just like you at 14 years old, but I did one thing and I had to, I ran away from it all, but I was did see my mom who I loved very much, i moved in with this great jewish family not far from my house about 2 blocks away, and you know what I am a very happy guy today. So please go to the cops and tell them about your father they will help you, and please don't cry, you are still god's angel. you can always email me if you like.....frrrslvtr@yahoo.com.
Dial 911





Just broke her nose is a huge deal.


You can stop the insanity.





Dial 911
If you are in the USA you can call 1鈥?00鈥?22鈥?453. Thats the number for the National Child Abuse Hotline. They can get you the help you need. Also since Alocholism seems to be playing into the situation you may wnt to connect with Alateen through their website http://www.al-anon.org/alateen.html Also please rest assured that I am praying for you. And God cares. He is the ultimate Father. If you wish to connect for further info feel free. I am a Chaplain and Christian Counselor.
look go to the school councelor and tell them about your situation and get into foster care. that is the only thing for you and its teh best choice so far. you will not be with them and if they dont' clean up you can stay there with another family or in foster care where you are safe and can do school and get on to college and go girl its really grea ttake care.