How to deal with alcoholic parents?

Hi, im 15 and both of my parents are alcoholics, it runs in my family, my uncles and aunts are all alcoholics too. Im living with my grandparents, and every time i go visit my parents i don't know how to act. Sometimes ill just break down and start crying, and other times i lash out at them. My brother (11 years old) and my sister ( 1 year) are still living with them. How do I stay calm when im around them? And does anyone have any advice on how to accept it? I tried attending Al-anon, but it didn't seem to help. I feel like im alone, and i feel like everyone looks down on me because of it. Both of my parents are in denial, and i just don't know what to do. I feel like i have lost my parents, and i find it hard to hug them or tell them that i love them. Can some one please give me some advice?How to deal with alcoholic parents?
I feel your pain. You can't change them. They have to want to stop drinking themselves They should be reported to child services to get your brother and sister out of there. Can you imagine what they must be going through? You have to stop seeing them. Tell them that as long as they continue to drink alcohol, you won't see them. If you are important in their lives, they may open their eyes and try to stop. If you aren't, they will keep drinking. A drunk has to help him or herself.How to deal with alcoholic parents?
just tell them they need to quit drinking so much
You and them might need to see a therapist.
This is very hard...my parents were both on drugs or alcoholics and my dad abused my mom and both me and my brother. The advice I can give you is to do great in school and go to college and do great in your life...it takes too much time and engery to try to stop someone from doing something that they DO not want to do. When the time comes when your parents want help they will ask you...in the mean time do good for yourself and be a better role model for you brothers/sisters they will see that there is a better life outside drinking....look at sister they will say - hang in there kid it can be done.
Try to give them some referance on how drinking can harm you. Let them stop little by little. Don't be hard or shout at them.



Throw out every can/bottle of alchohol in the house and replace it with apple cider. Keep track of how much they drink each day, and try to bring it down by one can each week.



Every week, give them a little treat, like a card or some cake to celebrate the cut down on drinking. Hope this helped:)
Well first try to get your brother and sister out of there. You don't want them to grow up like that do you? Talk to you grandparents or other adults you trust. See if you can sign them up on a ';quiting program';. If you really love (and they love you) them keep telling them they might be hurt and die from alcohol. If it gets worse I would stay at you grandparents all the time. Keep involved in activities to keep your mind off them. You can even try foster parents if you get permission.
Please contact your local Al-Anon office for meeting information for the division called Alateen. It is for children of alcoholics. The website will allow to search by location and find one near you. They can help you learn how to deal with this situation.



www.al-anon.alateen.org
Tyler, I feel your pain. I grew up in an alcoholic family. You are fortunate that you can live with your grandparents so as not to deal with the day to day of it all. Unfortunately you are likely to have to be the adult in this relationship. You can love your parents but let them know that you do not like their behavior. I wish I could tell you do ';A'; and get result ';B';. It doesn't work that way. My dad and I finally came to terms long after I was an adult. I wouldn't call it a loving relationship but we knew where we stood with one another. He has since passed away from cirrhosis of the liver due to alcoholism. (He was only 57.) This is an ugly thing to witness. Have you ever appealed to their not being around to watch you get married and have kids of your own? Or the little one graduating high school?



This is such a heavy weight for a 15 year old to carry. Is there another adult in your life that you can talk to? Grandparents, school counselor? I did attend Al-anon as well. I don't remember much about it though. I've blocked out alot of that time of my life. But maybe someone there can point you in another direction.



Know that you are not alone. There are many many other kids in just your situation. Perhaps they keep it secret, come to school with a smile and no one ever knows. That's what I did.



Advice? Hmmm? Knowlege is power. Google it. Learn about it. Pray for them. Pray for yourself. God works in mysterious ways.



Stay strong and God bless.
Boy my heart goes out to you.

My father was an alcoh. but my mother took care of everyone.

They use to fight and I thought my father would kill my mother

and then oh my god what would happen to us because we

knew he was noooooo goooood, and uncapable of taking care

of us.



I was ashamed all the time, insecure about them and myself.



Just a little back ground to tell you I understand.



Let me say this:

Your not alone. There are millions of children out there with

simuliar problems, Some come from drug addicted homes,

and they don't have grandparents to rely on. Some are

homeless right now.



It was common when I was young but I didn't know that then.

Now it's a national epidemic. Thats why al a non had

to be formed.

I thought I was trash, and told ppl I lived in a different house

than was ours.



I grew out of it, and became self reliant and got an education

and went on to make very good money by the time I was

30. That probably sounds very old to you, but believe me

most ppl don't get their sh^t together till their thirty or thirty five

so I ended up to being very normal and so did both my sisters.

To this day none of the three of us smoke or drink.

So some good things did come out of it!

We all learned to prosper and get up out of where we came from

and we are all happy today and have been for years.



What I'm trying to tell you in too many words that you don't want

to hear is What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.



You will be a better person probably because of where you

came from and what you have been through. You won't be

a spoiled brat who only thinks of themselves.



I'm sorry you have addicted parents, become a good person

inspit of it. Love your grandparents, do everything you can

for them, be helpful and courteous at all times. Do your

homework and get the best grades you can get. Your

going to need them.



Remember you are not them. You do not have to become

them. You can beat this and be the best that you can be.

The sins of your parents are not yours. There is nothing

wrong with you.



Try to forgive them. They are just weak!

Be strong hon and get a good education thats the best

advice I can give you. Then find a job that you love.

If you love your job you will never work a day in your life.



hugs

ragtopgal
first off your brother and sister shouldn't be there. At 15 you shouldn't be dealing with this but you are. Your parents wont change until they realize they have a problem. im not sure if you wanna hear this but theres only one thing that can really help and that's God. if you don't have a church find one and i know you'd find ppl who would be happy to hear you and help. if you can get a hold of a bible that would be good. email me anytime and ill be happy to go over verses in the bible that would help you go through this hard time in your life. your story really touched me and i hope to hear from you soon.
I completely understand you. My dad is a recovering alcoholic, and he yells sometimes. I do go Al-alon meetings, but only once in a while. You just have to give your parents all of your love. That's the only thing that can help them. I have a history of alcoholism as well, my uncle and aunt are recovering alcoholics, so is my grandmother and my dad of course, and my deceased grandfather, as well as my grandfather's deceased mother. I'm really sorry to hear someone else is going through the same thing I am, but it gives me some hope and I hope you get hope from me. :) Email me anytime you want. I completely understand what your going through. When I was three my dad used to go to the liquor store and lie to me and tell me that it was Sprite he was getting. I get so sad when I think that my daddy would lie to me like that. Also, my mom and him got in huge fights, and AA saved his life practically. At least it saved mine. He still lashes out sometimes, but he's working on it. My aunt is the one who needs help. One time I was getting in the car, and my mom told my baby cousin to put her seat belt on (she was only 4) and my mom and aunt got in a fight. My aunt slammed the car door on my dad and said ';F*** you.'; That's when alcoholism hurts everyone. :( I'm so sorry for you. Email me whenever : )
Although I believe it is correct to try and help people, I have also had to learn that I often cannot help other people and that I have to accept that unpleasant, unwanted and bad things happen. That doesn't mean the whole of life is not worthwhile, just that it is a mixture of things as we would like them and things we think are bad. The fact is there is no law in the universe that says your parents cannot be alcoholics, even though you would prefer they were not. So, for me, the key here is acceptance. Acceptance that bad things happen, that you cannot control or save them, but this negativity does not colour the whole of your life. It is one aspect.



Now go to college and make something of your own life.



(you might also try a book written by Windy Dryden called Dealing with difficult parents)