How can I deal with parents that enable my alcoholic sis to the point of alienating bro and I ?

My bro in law recently called to beg for help with a failing marriage d/t my sis drinking every day. My brother and I are aware that she has had this problem for a long time (and a past of other substances). My brother, her husband, and I all went to my parents for help. They told hubby to go to al-anon and told us to but out. My mom is in complete denial, can't understand why we would believe these things. My sis has had an extensive history of causing uproar in our family. My mom thinks she got married and moved out of state, so she is all better now. Also, mom and dad are semi-functional alcoholics. After trying to run down my brother for his past (he is sober) telling him how aweful both of us are, rather than face reality about her daughter's problem, she called up my sis and told her all the things we told her as evidence to wake mom up. She put her own spin on them so that it sounded like we were just bashing her. Now I can't talk to either of them and I don't know what to do.How can I deal with parents that enable my alcoholic sis to the point of alienating bro and I ?
Alcoholism is a terrible thing. You can try your hardest to help your family, but the people with the disease are the ones who have to help themselves.



You can go to al-anon. They have groups for people who are friend or family members of alcoholics. It's pretty much a support group for people affected by alcoholics. You should look into going to one of those groups. I've been to one of those groups before . They can help you deal with your emotions and they will give you advice. Good luck!How can I deal with parents that enable my alcoholic sis to the point of alienating bro and I ?
Get some literature from AA and read it!!.This will help YOU and other to deal with this situation.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is to stop trying, let it go and move on. Let your family know you care about them and see how things work out. I stopped getting involved with my family after years of me trying to help and only being misunderstood.
I take it she's the older daughter. Sounds like your parents are in denial. Keep harping on them.
Addiction is full of confusion and mixed feelings but your sister has to decide what ';she'; is going to do about it. You can tell her how you feel and how you hope she doesn't wait too long to get the help she needs. I realize you and your brother want to fix it but you didn't brake it. And you have to see that there is a lot of guilt in parents when their child messes up so how they get through it is their call not yours or mines. You said what you had to say give them all some space and then call a couple of months latter and say ';hey just checking in how's every little thing going';? Don't be harsh or judgemental or pushy give it a chance. So far pan- icing hasn't work so try just say what up? Let her open up.





Smooches



WonderWoman
Sometimes it is easier to look at other people and see their failings, and try to ';fix'; them, and enroll other people in order to ';fix'; them. It takes the pressure off of looking at our own actions and who we are and what we are doing.

This and other past experiences like this is part of that cycle. It is a pattern that will repeat over and over until you see it as a pattern.

It is a part of experiencing life, and taking care of who you are and what you do with your own life. You have tried to help, and in the process you got sucked in to a re-run of the same old same old...so now release yourself from the negativity and drama and remember this time, so you don't get sucked into the same cycle, different twist next time.

It is not up to you or anyone to ';fix';, let go and let God.