I think about hurting myself all the time. What do I do?

I'm 17 and I have depression and social anxiety. I've dealt with an alcoholic dad who abused my mom and other family problems. I have no friends because I'm too scared to talk to them. A lot of kids rejected me when I was younger because I'm quiet. Some of them would tell me they wouldn't want me around. I got picked on a lot. Even in my last year of high school I'm still dealing with it.



I think a lot about others and how much pain they are in. As a male, I feel very inferior to women. The reason is that they can have children and it must be painful and uncomfortable to deal with periods every month. It makes me feel like I'm worthless. I keep having thoughts about cutting myself across the stomach just so I can have a small idea of what it's about. Even then I still wouldn't know. I think that because I'm a male, I have no right to complain. I grew up primarily around women and I thought about how teachers in schools always sided with the girls.



Then I think about people in other countries who are suffering. Some have no food and die everyday. Some can't even afford pencils or even the right to an identity. I even think about innocent people who are killed or tortured by serial killers. All of this just makes me want to harm myself all over. Only reason I haven't done it yet is becuse I'm around my family all the time and we are very dysfuntional. I'm afraid to try anything right now. I feel that once I leave, I may have to take a butcher knife and mark myself.



I also constantly have thoughts of killing myself. In these thoughts, I think about different ways to do it. Either hanging myself or shooting myself or even sacrificing myself to save everyone else. In every scenario nobody really cares. They wouldn't even know I was gone since they don't even know who I am. Even if they do know me, it wouldn't make a difference to them. I've been getting counselling, but these thoughts are so overwhelming. I don't know what to do. I feel like I deserve to suffer is what I'm saying. I feel I deserve it because my life is too good compared to others.I think about hurting myself all the time. What do I do?
Your life is worth SO much more than you think, and even if you feel no one cares about you so many people feel that your life has value, including me. You sound like such a caring, empathetic person which are amazing qualities to have. If you want to feel better about yourself you should start helping the people you feel bad for. Try volunteering at womens shelters (be aware they may not take you b/c your male but you can still prepare meals, donate furnitiure etc,), volunteering at homeless shelters, sending money to people in impovershed countries, going on a missionary trip to Africa or even just bad areas in your state, and possibly joining the peace corps. When you help others its impossible not feel better about yourself because YOU are changing someones life and making their life SO much better!

Even if you feel like an outsider now after high school you should choose a college where you can have a fresh start and meet new people or join the peace corps and find people who are as passionate about helping others as you are.



Also, I am a woman and although you may feel bad about everything we go through the best way to empathize is NOT to cut yourself. Instead when you have a girlfriend/wife just help make her as comfortable as possible during pregnancy or her special time of the month and be tolerant of her mood swings. She will be SO impressed that you care about and respect the suffering she has to go through to bear children, unlike most guys. Respecting girls is definitly attracttive.



Whatever you do, DO NOT kill yourself. Killing yourself is selfish, which sounds like the opposite of what you are. Killing youself destroys the people who love you most and denies the world your abilities and talents.

So if you

- Keep yourself alive

- Help others all you can

- Give yourself a fresh start after highschool in college or the peace corps or even the military

I hope and pray your thoughts of hurting yourself will go away. If not see a counselor or physician and they may help you work through your feelings or prescribe ant-depressants.

Even of you never meet me or hear from me agian just know that I do care about you, because you are a human being and deserve the respect and love of everyone. Even if your not religous, I am and I believe God is watching over you and will help you on your journey. Just stay focused and you can achieve your dreams. Remember your life has worth.

- Olivia

If you need to talk just e-mail me, its on my profile. I think about hurting myself all the time. What do I do?
talk to someone about it.

there has to be someone who is ther for you.

if not i WILL BE!

email me and i will help you .

ihonestly canrelate to you in a lot of ways because i think about some of the same things.

my email is



i_love_soupy@hotmail.com

im always here to talk
hay dont worry everything will get better. hell want to kno what i do? i cut my self. i tried commiting suicide 3 TIMES! but i found out there is other ways to help it. try looking at teh stars. if u scared of talkign and everything just go to the quit guys or quit girls so u can get some advantiges. alright? look just dont do anything to hurt urself i regret cuting my wrists and inner legs. i cant even look at it without crying. im emotional and idc who says im a pussy or not. dont believe anyone else.
What I find really helpful to have a real fun relaxed stress and anxiety free day is to drink a few beers during the day. Have a few good beers in the morning, then if you go out, take a hip flask of whiskey with you and have a few good swigs during the day. After a super start to the day get stuck into the booze in the late afternoon. It really gives you a good night sleep and when you wake up feeling a bit fuzzy the next morning a few good swigs will set you up for another good stress free day. I鈥檓 having a ball and doing really well with my studies at University. I have a great part time job at a local book store and the management have no idea I鈥檓 half pissed all the time, I got employee of the month for the last two months and I am leading part time sales by heaps this month. It certainly makes the time go quick and adds a lot of fun to the day. Highly recommended.
hey thats all ur imagination. dont get in to unwanted matters try to do ur work get some music or books or rome on roads go to shopping but dont be lonely try to do the best in ur work be sur ethat ur mind is not let free to think unwanted.

but be sure we must face the life what ever the problems good luk keep on moving ...............




think of it like this.

`Besides all the bad things you like to think about, think of your best days ever.

`And ya you have a reason to complain, bad things happend to you, and its a good thing you told someone otherwise you may have kept it in you and you might have exploded from all the angst.

`Think how great life will be when you're older and can live life by yourself, or with good friends! and by the sound of it, your not that far away.

`FInd a hobbie. It'll take your mind of this bad stuff, and if you find other people who like the same thing as you, you'll make friends, and you'll be much more happy.

`Also,One day on the weekend, you should go out by yourself, or with a friend and just take some time to relax, buy a smoothie or a milkshake and relax.

`and you say youre life has been too good to complain, well i think other wise. everyone has a right to complain, especially in your case. YOur life has not been good like you said and thats ok, cuz u can get out of it.

`wat do u want to be when your older? find some classes about or near that and persue you're dream. Trust me it'll give you a great boost of energy.

`also, there will alays be someone listining to you. And they wont care how much you'll complain. In your case besides a friend you might want to see a shrink.

REMBER: shrinks aren't for crazy people at all, thats a false judgement. They are there to make everyone feel better.

Also

REMEBER: have some fun, you'll feel better.
Why would you hurt yourself, you didn't do anything wrong.



Why you have to deal with your dad and mom? It isn't your

responsiblity. Why worrying about that?



Well next year, when you turn 18, and finishing up school, then

move out and get a job. Cut grass if you have too. My neighbor

makes $30,000 a year by cutting grass and help people with their

garden and spray weed killer on grass for people.



Friends aren't that important. Why worry about other people?

You aren't an inferior to me. I'm a woman.



We can have children, you can too.

Well I only have 2 days of period problem every month. I can handle that.

I can just take an aspirin for pain. That is all. I don't get PMS at all.

I believe PMS is a myth.



I wish I am a male... I wanna ride one of those skating board.

I thought men have all the fun.

You guys can make films, win many awards, can make houses, and everything...



Teachers sided with girls, because girls do have problem, they can't do the things you men can do.... especially running for President and being CEO and all.



And those women in Middle East, they don't get much freedom.



Why don't you do some missionaries work, go to church and ask church members to go with you to help people in other countries.



I think people who are killed or tortured, maybe because they provoke someone. Or they chose to hang out with wrong crowd.



No... why kill yourself, I thought you care about us? why not

hang around with us and give us comfort. We do need you.


hey.



my heart really goes out to you mate. It sounds like you have gone through a lot in your life. It has been tough for you. I really do beg you. I have self harmed and i really regret it.. it is way too easy to get addicted to. please dont harm yourself. I used to get thoughts of killing myself and stuff.. i felt the same way you do.. i felt things could never get better... but i assure u they can. u feel like no one cares? i know this sounds really cheesy... but i care.. i really do...



please add me on msn if u wanna talk to someone... dont bottle it all up... add me oh-liv-ee-ah@hotmail.com



Olivia.. xox