About my alcoholic father.?

anyone know how to deal with an alcoholic who lives 5000 miles away who thinks he is innocent in everything wrong he does? he did things to me when i was little. i told my mom and she got a restraining order last year. he still calls me and leaves me voicemails questioning my relationship with God (who is the greatest person ever). he calls me a hipocrite. but i tell my mom i dont want anything to do with him and she says i need to rethink that.



i have tried to forgive him and i did at first, until he denies everything he did.





HELP!!!About my alcoholic father.?
He may never, ever change. It's all right to get angry at him and to not talk to him, its normal. Give it lots of time, many years if you have to, then when you are not angry decide then. It's likely that its too soon to really understand anything about your Father, it takes people many years to come to grips with the why of things. In this case I would suggest that although your faith tells you to forgive, it does not mean right at this moment.



Also there is something else you need to tell yourself everyday, look in a mirror each day and say: I am a good person, this is not my fault.About my alcoholic father.?
this is BAD, really bad, your mother is also quite useless as I can see.

Ignore your EX- DAD completely.

i don't know how old you are, but anyway, just don't listen to his messages.. cut him off from your life, and let your mother be delirious ... too bad, now you ain't got anymore parents, Both lunatics..
You might just have to cut ties and divorce him. My wife did it and is happier than she has ever been.
woah u have to get help right away that's nothing to wait on.

do something about it immediatly!!
just leave him.he will realize that he should not have done those things if he is weak.
ignore him completely. who cares what everyone else thinks. You know what is going on and you know what he did to you when you were younger. My grandparents hate me because I am jewish and adopted and my dad always asks me to go and see them. I just ignore it and live my life. of course nobody wants to live without a father, but some people have to.
unfortunatelly some fathers are always right..!try to talk to him clearly and be open about your negative feelings and ask him to try to understand. if it doesn't work. then there are two options according to me. 1st, you'll say ';yes right'; to everything he talks about. 2nd, you are not gonna talk to him.

I understand you and I just wish you luck and patience about it my friend.
DENY HIM AS HE DENIED THE THINGS HE DID.COMPLETELY CUT HIM OFF OF ALL CONTACT.YOU DONT NEED HIM FOR ANYTHING DO YOU?WHAT DOES HE DO FOR YOU?BUT BRING YOU MEMORIES OF TIMES HE'S CAUSED YOU PAIN.YOUR MOTHER WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND AND THATS WHY SHE'S TELLING YOU TO RETHINK IT...SHE'S NOT THE ONE WHO WENT THROUGH IT....YOU ARE!!!!
Your still judging him, you may have forgiven, but you have not forgotten, don't really blame you! But if he is 5ooo miles away, I do not see what harm it can do to communicate with him, see if he has changed, if not , go ahead and lisnen to him, it might be that is what he needs to change, it cannot hurt and just might be of great help. it's up to you to roll the dice?
Well I know he did stuff when u were little, and i wouldn't want 2 have ne thing 2 do with him either...but u always have 2 rememeber that thats ur dad...but give a some time...try 2 talk 2 him and tell him how much he hurt u in ur life time, and c wat happens 4rm there....good luck kiddo...
try talking to him about how wat he does makes u feel. if it doent work, try the silent treatment for a few days. also, if he still drinks, try and get him help for it. good luck, i hope everything works out.
Unfortunatly an alcoholic has a problem within themselves. It's sad that you have to be subjected to this. I would change my phone number and pray that he will one day realize what he has done to the relationship he could have had with you.
As an adult child of an alcoholic I can tell you there are few ways to ';deal'; with one.



It sounds to me like your father betrayed your most basic trust, the ';things'; he did to you and now denies are going to haunt him his whole life... perhaps he is trying to escape something, by drinking?



It is your place to set boundaries around your relationship with this man, and if you dont want one no one including your mom can change that.



I find that if forgiveness does not work for me I give it up to the God in my life. Only then can I move on.



Focus on what a wonderful and sacred human you are, love yourself and build your self identity in relation to whatever you call God, find peace in this as I have. Your amazing!
I also have a alcoholic father.Stay stronge!! Your dad lives so far from you...don't let him get to you. Live your life , and set your self free from all the pain. and don't hold anything inside. And do it with love believe it or not. Use your faith and the word of the lord to guide you. and one last thing, the truth lies within you...you know what to do. Just do it....Best of luck xoxo