My neighbor is cheating on her husband. I am close to both of them. I now have feelings for him. Help?

We have been neighbors for five years. She confided in me that she is in love with her ex-husband. She is also a functional alcoholic and deals w/ depression. Her husband is at his wits end with her. She has been refusing treatment. Also, he doesn't know that she has been unfaithful, though I do. Over the last several months, we have spent a lot of time together because our kids play etc..She rarely participates. He and I now have strong feelings for each other. He doesn't think that she has cheated on him, though she did tell him that she is in love with her ex. I know I cannot tell him what she told me. But I am not sure how to handle all this. I have also talked to her about her depression and alcohol abuse. I have tried to be supportive to both. I have encouraged him to confront her and push treatment. I really don't think it will happen. It is getting hard to deal with this because I really have feelings for him as well. Help!My neighbor is cheating on her husband. I am close to both of them. I now have feelings for him. Help?
cut ties with him, if his marriage is going to end let it be for the right reasons, and not because u have fallen for her husband. refuse to be part of all this drama anymore, and distance yourself.My neighbor is cheating on her husband. I am close to both of them. I now have feelings for him. Help?
Invite your neighbor, her husband, %26amp; her ex-husband over to your house for a ';confessions'; dinner. Videotape it %26amp; post it on YouTube %26amp; don't forget to send me a link!
Stay away from both of them. Nothing but problems will esculate from this.
All you can do is be a good friend and be supportive to him. If his marriage eventually fails and he has feelings for you, you'll possibly end up together. If his marriage is saved in some way, then it wasn't going to work for you two anyway and you maintained the high moral ground by not being a home-wrecker.
Sounds to me like you want to tell him....so he will leave her...so you can have him to yourself......Think you should distance yourself from the both of them....let them work out their own issues...
Get out...(like the poltergeist said on the movie) get out.... this is a bomb waiting to explode in your face, and your neighbor...nothing but hatred can come from this towards you from the wife. get out...
Hi hon...



you are sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong... and you are also in the middle of your neighbor's personal problems... which isn't a good thing.



It's none of your business if your neighbor is refusing treatment for depression... or whether or not she's a functioning alcoholic. Your neighbors need to work out their own problems, and because you have EMOTIONAL FEELINGS toward the husband, you aren't a very good candidate to ';help'; them at all.



Mind your own business... and leave the marriage alone... even if they DO break up, why would you want to be with a man who just got out of a marriage... newly divorced people are emotionally spent, upset and have nothing to give until they grieve the loss of their marriage and recover from the trauma of it all.
this can and will only get worse if you ';GO THERE';...keep well out of it....its trouble through and through.
I think that I would tell him.

It's a hard decision obviously. But, if you are not in a relationship yourself and are free and can make him happy, when he is not and she is not either, then it's not even a wrong by giving him the piece of information he needs to make an informed decision.

After that, though, you'd have to keep your distances if he still decides to be with her.
well maam quit being there go between put some distance between you %26amp; them since u have strong feelings for him %26amp; just leave it alone whatever will be will be!! Sorry but you can't fix what they don't want fixed !!
Maybe he already knows about his wifes activities and chooses not to talk to you about it. I know i wouldn't talk about it if i knew something like that about my GF.



I'd stay out of it. Let his marriage collapse on it's own.
Nothing good can come from living in a lie. As you are privy to this information you are now supporting the lies.

Only the truth will win out in this.

GO to your neighbor and confess your position in all this and ask her to ';lay it all on the table';. This is her responsibility and anything short of this will be dangerous for all involved.

If she won't take the responsibility for her own actions - you have no responsibility to help in any of it.

Take a step back and a step out.

You have allowed yourself to become part of another's lie and look where you are now. Sorry that you can't turn back the clock.

You know the story of ';don't get involved with a married man';? So, don't get involved with him. You are stirring the fire and not helping him at all.
wow that is tough. I just think that later on down the line the truth always has a way of coming out and I think he would feel betrayed by you if he found out that you knew about her cheating and you never told him. That is the only reason I would say that you need to find a way to tell him.



As far as trying to get her into treatment, stay out of that . Be there for him give him your support. Just remember, that even if they get divorced, she is still around because of the kids. So this is just phase I with this guy - are you sure you want to expose her alcoholism in your life and your kids life?
Why don't you just mind your own buisness!
your no better then her listen and listen good my own brother inlaw loves my sister to death when they had problems he would confide in me he was very vulnerable i mean who isnt when they are going through that. Your taking advantage of that opportunity nothing good will come of this you will have many regrets stay away from him disance yourself it is not your job to say anything if those feelings are true for you he will divorce and come knocking on you door.
We always think we are falling for the poor, abused souls. He is still married to her, so you need to stay out of their business. If he knows she still loves her ex, then he has to know that she could cheat with him, too. He obviously likes playing the martyr, and playing on your sympathies.
Sounds like you have tried your best to help everyone and it isn't working. In fact it seems to be causing you alot of stress at this point. Since you know you have developed feelings for this man and that he is married and that he is still trying to work it out - Do yourself and everyone a favor by backing off. Find someone else for your kids to play with for a while!! If he wants to come over to unload on you tell him you are busy right now!! If he pushes to know why you are avoiding him! Tell him you felt that he needs to concentrate on saving his marriage if possible and that you do not want to complicate that and that you have to focus on yourself and your own issues. This is very true!! Being a good friend does mean listening and sometimes offering advise - but you are no longer impartial as you have feelings!! So before things get really bad and he cheats on his wife with you cause he is so down and just needs consolation - put some barriers up!! These are your neighbors as well! Picture your life with her husband with her and her kids living next door!! Probably would not go well!! And both your children and his would feel utterly betrayed by you both. If you are ment to be with this guy it will happen some day after he has resolved his issues with his wife and left her. But let that be his decision!!! And once a man cheats the first time - well he usually does not have a problem cheating on wife No. 2!! So encourage him to work out his problems with his wife and if he can't then he will leave her and he will be up for grabs and you will still respect him cause he was honorable and he will still respect you!!! His wife will not be able to blame you and most importantly your children will still respect you both. Good Luck!!
You have to step back, saying that there comes a time when you can help no further; it is up to you to decide how you wish to lead your life, but that you cannot support this self-destruction path
listen that is not you buss, what going on between he and his wife and you should be more care full deal with them in the distance bec. you need to be thinking about your kids and in the long run he need to work all his problem not you don't get involve
This sounds like a very unhealthy situation and would stay right out of it . Feelings of pity isn't love . Stay right out of it and find yourself a very healthy husband .
If you are able to take this man into your bed without telling him about his wife's cheating than that seems fair for me. Later, when you egreed about that you want to have at least a neibourgh affair for a while, you may tell him the truth.
You can't sleep with him he is married you are not going to get justification from me!
Trust me on this, you are feeling strongly not out of love, but out of 1. Rescue Mode-On 2. Lust 3. The attention you are getting

All of these are because you have got way, way too emotionally involved with other people's business. This is avoiding your own issues in your own life. Like why you would even consider a married man? Dont you deserve an Unmarried man who has his act together?

This is about you, externalizing and not minding your own business. So focus on yourself and hands off the commited guy.
Dont tell him, but make sure he finds out indirectly
this just sounds like a bloody nightmare whichever way i look at it. Like, to much hard work. Also i find it a bit bizarre you talking to her about her depression and alcoholism meanwhile trying to hook up with her husband. Sorry, it just reeks of problems now and problems in the future.
just be sure that it is not a feeling of sympathy that you are having towards hers because of all the heartache that that she is having and if it is not better start evaluating the things the you are going to lose, things that will cause tears and heartache to your love ones....weigh all the options before you do anything else see what are going to gain and what are you going to lose, think very, very hard and well....you are the only one who can decide about this problem...good luck!!