From the language you are using: ';recovering'; ';sobriety';, ';resentments';, ';getting honest with myself'; it appears that you are in AA.
So was I, for many years after I quit drinking back in 1998. In the spirit of full disclosure, I have to tell you that there is no love lost between the program and me. I feel that my years there were more harmful than helpful.
Accordingly, I don't have a single whit of ';program'; wisdom for you. But I will tell you this, and this is based on 11 years of what you refer to as ';sobriety';: your husband's drinking is NOT going to affect your ';sobriety'; unless you let it. You are right that any decision to quit has to be up to him. If he makes such a decision, fine. If not, and his drinking remains a problem, then you can stay and deal with it or you can go.
What you shouldn't be doing is saying ';I can't stay sober with this guy in the house.';
Sure you can. Unless he throws you down and pours the booze down your throat, you are always in control of your own ';sobriety.';How does a recovering alcoholic deal with a spouse who is an active alcoholic?
Your sobriety comes first! If he continues to follow the path he is on and not willing to make the necessary changes, then remove yourself from the equation. Your sobriety ALWAYS comes first, everything else is second. I too am a recovering alcoholic
Leave him or go to Al Anon meetings
No such life is come with out challenge. Best solve problems is Communication. If you two love each other and care for each other and what is going to happen to your family than you two sit down and talk. Seek for help. counseling also help.
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