I HATE how it's ';going to look';, but i can't keep doing this....?

As it stands now, i'm going to be a new father in Feb., and, to appease her family and her, we're getting married next August. But i'm at this point, where...i'm sorry...i'm done. I don't want to be with her OR raise her Daughter (her and her daughter live with me; 5 yrs old..i love her, but she's WAY too much to deal with). I basically do all the work, she hasn't worked since LAST Feb (before the baby) and i pretty much take care of the housework, and raising her Daughter. Though this, i've basically become a full blow alcoholic, just to deal with the day-to-day drudgery.

I'm not sure what to do...give this as much of a chance as i can? Shut it down now? or just keep ';grining and bearing it'; for the rest of my life?I HATE how it's ';going to look';, but i can't keep doing this....?
Look a baby isn't enough of a reason to get married anymore. I say that you take a strong look at yourself and maybe if you are that far gone, get into rehab. Things should be much more clear when you aren't constantly functioning being drunk/hungover/buzzed etc...... Until you are clean and sober I wouldn't make any rash decisions. And BTW, you are about to be a father, you need to put on your big boy britches and get on the band wagon. You sound like you are not at all pleased about it.I HATE how it's ';going to look';, but i can't keep doing this....?
Shut it down now. You aren't keep bearing it the rest of the your life and it sounds like all the grins and giggles have worn out. Seriously, shut it down, NOW. I can tell from your tone, in about 2 years there will be a law and order episode dedicated to you. The guy who murders his wife and stepdaughter and then eats them to make sure they are gone. Chillax dude, and shut it down, before someone gets hurt.

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How do you deal with depression and addiction?

I have been diagnosed with depression and I am a RECOVERING alcoholic. I got put on medication to help with depression but when I am still depressed that makes me want to drink and I know I can not drink. Help please.How do you deal with depression and addiction?
First off, you may have been misdiagnosed with the wrong medication, since you're depression isn't feeling any better. Second of all, it seems to me like the hardest thing about breaking your alcohol addiction is that when you get the urge to drink, you can't stop yourself. Because of this, I think you should consider rehab. In rehab, you won't be able to get any alcohol, so you could fight through those urges and restore your body to the way it was before your addiction. Think about it: How could you fuel your alcohol addiction if you couldn't access any alcohol?How do you deal with depression and addiction?
perhaps starting with the truth about drugs and alcohol would be a good place to start so you may not even want to use alcohol as a solution to the problems you are facing in life. i m not gonna pretend like i know what you are going through or nothing but alcohol really doesnt help, what is it that you are trying to forget anyways? i know, very personal question right...



check out:



www.uniteagainstdrugs.com
Hopefully, in addition to seeing a psychiatrist, and taking meds as prescribed, you are also in counseling for your addiction and depression. In treatment, you will learn about addiction, your triggers, and you will learn healthy coping skills. Make sure you attend all of your appointments. Build a sober support system. Attend 12-step meetings, and get a sponsor. When you are depressed, pick the phone rather than a drink.

Regarding meds: It may take a few weeks for them to take effect. If you have been taking meds for several months, and are still depressed, talk to your psychiatrist. You may need to add to or change the medications you are taking.



Many people who are depressed use alcohol because they think it will make them feel better. However, alcohol is actually a depressant which will cause more problems in the long run.
Firstly I would like to appreciate that you are being truthful. Secondly talking about your depression and being alcoholic, you know it that alcohol does not help avoid depression or cure depression! Get yourself busy with your family or engage in activities that you enjoy. If required, take help of some rehab center instead of only medication. Search for good rehab centers that have really helped addicted people. I will love to suggest you one which helped my cousin.

Here is the link http://www.lakeviewhealth.com/alcoholism鈥?/a>
Hi,

Have you been to or do you go to AA or NA - If not i would really reccomend that you give them a go, they really helped me with my addiction and in turn that helped with my depression.

Also you could go to your doc and ask to be reffered to mental health team- they have a duty to help you

Good luck

How do I manage my anger?

My husband is an alcoholic. I cannot deal anymore. It makes me so mad and we fight so now I smack him in his face while we fight because there is no reasoning or getting my point across. It's scaring me. Should I just leave cause he won't change. I don't want to give up on our marriage, and I know the vows say ';for better or for worse'; but what if only one person is pulling the weight of the relationship? Being with a bindge drunk alcoholic liar sucks.How do I manage my anger?
Take anger management classes to see why you feel the need to hit him...or leave him. You deserve better, and so does he. Nobody deserves to be hit! Good Luck!!How do I manage my anger?
stop hitting him and go to an al anon group. there is hope for your marriage.

How do you deal with a mentally abusive parent?

I am 14 and have a very abusive mother. She sometimes also physically abuses me. She used to be an alcoholic but she is still mentally abusing me and is in total denial about it. My father has recently died and she seems to be taking that out on me. I can't get away from her because my family seems to believe her and running away is out of the question since we live in the middle of nowhere. I am too young to get hired and live on my own. Please Help!How do you deal with a mentally abusive parent?
Hi Jessie,

Sorry to hear life is so tough for you right now! Let me tell you a few things first. Your situation sounds a bit like my own situation when I was your age!



I lived with my dad in the middle of nowhere and he was an alcoholic who took his anger at my mother out on me.



Some things I did to get through the tough times till I could escape were:

1) I reminded myself every single day that what he had to say about me was not true. It was just his alcoholism talking.

2) When he hurt me I reminded myself that it was not about who I was at all. It was about who he was.

3) I did a lot of reading and took a lot of long walks.

4) As soon as I could escape, I did!

5) When I escaped I sought out some help for myself because I knew that I had been through some pretty tough stuff and knew that I had missed a lot of normal teenage stuff. Counselling was very, very helpful to get me back on track.

6) most important of all is I never gave up on me!



Hang in there Jessie! You can get through this and when you do you need to look back at it all once and thoroughly then having seen it from a different point of view and seen that you did well to cope with it all and that you were very resourceful to manage things as well as you did you will be able to let it all go and just move on.



Best Wishes for your future.How do you deal with a mentally abusive parent?
Tell somebody! - like another adult you can trust---- ask your Mom about therapy as an option for her or the both of you- grief counseling could help
You could call the police and get her arrested.
Talk to a teacher at school. Try to get this book. 'How to cope with difficult parents' by Windy Dryden.

Drugs and Alcohol?

Has anyone heard that people using cocaine are suspicious? I have become an alcoholic trying to deal with my husband ... keep up with his habits. I have used marijuana in the past in my teens ... unfrequently in my 20's and moreso since I have been with my husband ... I am now in my 30's. I tried cocaine and how understand what my husband goes through every day ... drugs, alcohol and fights. How can one break themselves from someone that they love with their whole heart? As much as our relationship is wrong I want help ... I can do it on my own - personally, I am strong and educated - I love life! With my husband, I am worried about myself ... but I care more about him. How can I break away? How can I be strong enough when my heart is open? Those that understand please respond ... love ... drugs ... and time to break away. God bless for those who want to help.Drugs and Alcohol?
You should be commended for reaching out and wanting your marriage to work. Marriage is a sacred union, however when it is being tainted by unnatural and Godforsaken habits, one must re-evaluate it. First off, you need to get the help that you need to get through your struggles with alcohol so you can then help your husband with his fight. We both know that your husband has a long hard fight in front in him. In order for you two to make it, one of you must be sober and in your right mind! You have already accomplished so much in your life...good things too. Furthering your eduaction is no easy feat, but you have done it! Because of this, I know that you are strong enough to make it through this low point in your marriage right now and able to kick these nasty habits. Make that appointment that you have been needing to make for so long now. Get that professional help you deserve and your husband deserves too. If after he has gotten the help he needs and is not able to function soberly, I regret to inform you will need to most likey move on. It is hard to see how this has all affected you now. Hindsight is always 20/20. Take care of yourself first and then help your husband get the help he needs. You have come to far girl in your schooling and career to blow it all alway on a husband that can't or won't change for the sake of your marriage.Drugs and Alcohol?
No easy way to do this...

Best way to mend a broken heart is with a new love...

But first, you gotta divorce hubby....
my self i still smoke pot and drink but like everything else in life you have to moderate some of the things of what you done when you were younger, life is short injoy it but always see what the big picture is in your life and don't be like someone else if your not happy
i know its hard to deal with wanting life to be one way but stuck in another. there is only one right answer - you MUST leave him. i know exactly what you are talking about - i have been there. i was married to my (now ex) husband for 13 years. he too is an alcoholic and a drug adict. physical abuse and verbal fights were getting too much to take - i was more scare for our two kids. leaving wasnt the easiest thing i had ever done - i loved him so much that i actually stayed in the marriage just to be with him - no matter what! i finally woke up one day - one of the toughest days in my life. it wasnt easy - but i made it through - you will too.

if you need someone to talk to - someone that understands - please fee free to email me - lisamar119@yahoo.com
There will be a time in your life when you decide that your own well-being is more important than trying to help someone who won't help them self. Until then you will probably stay with him and he will continue to drag you down. I know since I am married to an alcoholic.
You are in a rather unique situation, but there are other people out there that understand. I would suggest that you get yourself sober.It will be hard with him drinking and using but it is not impossible. I have been sober for 19 months and my hubby still drinks. Get sober for at least a couple of months then re evaluate the situation. Go to AA to help with your addiction and alanon to help deal with his. Good luck Dear and Blessings.

Do fundies realize the hurt and pain they cause others with their vicious rhetoric?

How many people will not come to Christ because they have been turned off by Christians? How many gay teens have committed suicide because their fundie parents/pastors have told them they are the scum of the earth and they must turn from the person God has made them? How many people become alcoholics trying to deal with demands on their life that are unrealistic for them, but put upon them by the so called Christians.



Do Christians take any responsibility for the vicious, vile and hateful rhetoric spewed from the pulpits on a regular basis as fact...when it is truly only their opinion or interpretation of scriptures.Do fundies realize the hurt and pain they cause others with their vicious rhetoric?
These people do not represent ALL Christians any more than you represent ALL of anyone else.



Have a nice day. :-)Do fundies realize the hurt and pain they cause others with their vicious rhetoric?
They just don't care. Jesus is going to come for them and the faster they wreck this world the faster they believe he will come.
Scare tactics and guilt trips only convert the weak and the dim. Anyone with any intelligence or moral fiber will be turned off by those tactics.
How many people have YOU caused hurt or pain from YOUR vicious rhetoric? It's easy to paint with a broad brush and convince everyone to look on others with disdain.
I *heart* you.

tell em the truth!!!



christianity is a faith, and fundies miss the point.
I'm sorry your were a bitter Gay teen.. but i havent heard the hateful rhetoric spewed from the pulpit.. and i do go to Church.. and no We were taught not to listen to those false prophets your referring to
No, of course not. Evidently, when you have Jesus on your side, thou canst do no wrong.
Do they take responsibility? No.



They will say that the people they hurt made their own choices and so it's too bad for them.
how many pe
Not all Christians are fundamentalists and many Christians have the same view of fundamentalism that you have
I think they operate on the ';ends justify the means'; philosophy and they really don't think they are doing anything wrong. They can't think beyond what they have been taught and see the rest of us as ';wrong';. Sad really...
Christians do not teach that homosexuals are the scum of the earth, but that they are loved by God and need to repent. Also, there is strong evidence for choice after a history of parental abuse/neglect being a causitive for homosexuality, and until only recently (1973? or so) the American Psychiatric Association listed homosexuality as a mental illness. Saying that, ';God made me this way'; is a cop-out. Do you really suppose God would make someone a certain way, then condemn them for how He made them? Preposterous! However, that is exactly what a lot of atheists I have seen posting in this forum seem to believe and is one of the reasons they reject God. Incidentally, you list this ';fundie baptist preacher'; as being one of us. I would have to correct any such foolish preaching.
Do athies realize how utterly stupid they make themselves look when they ask such humorous and, yet, assinine questions? Christians have nothing to do with any of the lost that you mention? As an obvious atheist, what the hell are you doing? Preaching????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL鈥?Imagine that!!!
Pure ego.

They would take credit for a person they saved, but if the message drives people away, it's because God hardened their hearts. It's the ultimate in scapegoating.
If God announced that wearing leather was wrong, how many people do you think would put on leather and then claim God was evil for putting down their lifestyle?

Or, better yet, if God announced that putting snails in your anus was wrong, how many would start that practice?



You cannot say that people who do evil are being turned away, and therefore we should not say that what they do is evil. Christ gave us the Gospel to spread it. He did not spare feelings when He was here. Sure, He was merciful, but He did not change the truth to spare feelings.



Note - I am not agreeing with any website, any rhetoric, or any language other than what I type here. I am not a baptist minister in Alabama, nor do I necessarily share that b@stard's beliefs.
If ';they'; are listening to the ';vicious, vile and hateful rhetoric spewed from the pulpits'; then they are attending a church and have some interest in the scriptures. I have never heard any preacher call anyone ';scum of the earth'; but I do agree with the scriptures. There is no reason to ';sugarcoat'; sin. Sin is what it is and those that die in their sins do not inherit eternal life. Some may call this my opinion but it is actually the scriptures doing the talking. The Bible condemns all sin, whether it is homosexuality, alcoholism or murder. The Bible and the Christians do not hate the individual, only the sin itself.



A Christian must give up worldly things such as alcohol, gambling etc if they are to live as Christ lived (the definition of a Christian.) If they are listening to a sermon, then they are taking the first step towards repentence and salvation.
unfortunately not all Christians are good people.it even warns us in the bible about such things.your absolutely correct that some do hurt others.i have been turned away from church because the preacher said i was not ordained and that really hurt my faith for a while.any christian that judges or condemns you in a harsh manor is not truly in Christ and is very much in need of saving themselves.i cant say i take responsibility for others actions just because im a christian.just like you cant take responsibility for internet child porn just because you surf the web.



*ok so i just went to that website and let me say that is one of the most disturbing things i have ever seen.trust me you wont find many christians that arent appouled by it.
Eh, the site you linked to in your additional details is a cult, not a Christian church. The word ';baptist'; doesn't really mean anything except that they baptize adults instead of infants. Any nut job can slap that title on a sign and call it a ';church.';
You do realize that sick family on the site you gave have been condemned by Christians. There are even groups of people who try to stop them. You are just as guilty of spewing hate as those disgusting people are, only you have succeeded in falsely accusing over 2 billion people. How proud you must be. I take responsibility for myself. Maybe you should try that too instead of inventing excuses and blaming others.



EDIT: Unfortunately these people are protected by freedom of religion, speech and the right to assemble. I honestly don't know what else we could do to stop them or anyone else that wants to spread hate. But people are trying by legal means to say that this is not what Jesus taught. I believe in a God that loves everyone.



May God Bless you.
christians usually don't take responsibility for their fundies, yet expect the muslims to take responsibility for their fundies. sort of hypocritical, don't you think?



m. ghandi, a man of peace and human rights, once said ';the only thing wrong with christianity is christians';. did he have it only half right?



seek spirituality on your own. be good to you. don't let christians ruin your life with your god. christians claim god gave freedom of choice to man. don't let some christian's version of religion take that freedom away from you.
If you are not an atheist or if you have been paying attention , you will see the that the Christians on r%26amp;s are no where near as viscious as the atheists .I have even read where some atheist said her favorite thing to do is come on r%26amp;s and insult christians. Go down each list of questions and count how many are viscousness and mocking and snide aimed at christians. If christia is a christian then I'm elvis presley. nice try.
What ';vicious rhetoric'; and who exactly has used it? Or as one of your own put it:



Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please. Examples please.

flirt with someone

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How do i deal with an ex girlfriend who tells all my friends that im an assh*ole?

we havent been going out for like 2 years now but my buddy told me he saw her and my bros ex girl at the bar and all they did was talk **** about how im this and that, a liar, psycho, and im an alcoholic like my mom and will never change...Whats the best way to deal with it. I look like a jerk if i say anything, but now she tells other girls not to get with me also...tough!!How do i deal with an ex girlfriend who tells all my friends that im an assh*ole?
don't deal with her and move on.How do i deal with an ex girlfriend who tells all my friends that im an assh*ole?
Tell them all she's a slut and you've heard she's now got syphilis
i wouldnt bug about it.. tell the girls shes a jealous btch running her mouth about ****. im told im psychotic, an asshole, a liar, and an alcoholic every day but i know im not. i blow it off.
um call her a slut or a whore or even BLACKMAIL
Just tell that you moved on and she should do the same.

If those people are really your friends theyre not going to talk what shes saying seriously anyways.
I agree with the syphillis answer. She's a ***** Fight back!
She's obviously really cut up about not going out with you, but what she's doing is really mean! I'd speak to her face to face and just ask her whats up.
jus be urself

if they call u names be like

my ex lied to u

dont believe me

thaen *** u ***** ****

**** i dunno man



just tel em the truth f they askl
punch her homie :)

square in the face. break her front teeth. then kick her a few times and ask her if she has changed her mind.... im jus playn. u cant. woman are very complicating. just becareful wut u do. now days woman can say anything is sexual harrassment
tell her to shut her mouth and stop talkin sh*t and tell her shes immature.
just ignore her. shes probably telling other girls not to get with u cause she probably wants to get back with u
tell her its her your life so stay out of it and also say u went with me so i cant be that bad right
well aparently u pissed her off and hurt her id do the same thing
my ex have the same problem.. all his ex's tell everyone that he's an A$$holes.. and i'm the only one that talk to him nicely.idk but he still manage to get other girls.. Just don't date girls that are friends with your ex.. Date girls from far away.. like from a different neighborhood or school or something..




write her name and number on mens bath room walls
Ignore it, and move forward in life....
tell everyone you wouldn't let her turn tricks
u do nothing. u take the high road and leave it alone. Don't even pay her any attention. Her opinion doesn't matter. Show people that she is wrong, don't even talk about her in any way!!!!
shes obviously still holds what happened with you two against you, i would just ignore it if i was you, if someone asks you about it, tell the truth, dont let her ruin things for you just cause shes still jealous and holding a grudge :)
Shes still hurt over the fact that u guys arent together. Tell her its been 2 yrs and to get over it.



Brush it off. If these people know u or what to get to know u, the will take that chance themselfs and not listen to other people.
Ignore, ignore, ignore.
shes a **** she has know life! she is miserable and a woman at that! she wants to ruin your life cus she has no life of hers to ruin!
its not your fault i broke up with my ex 2 years ago we decided separate ways was best we've talked since and then we had an argument i love him heaps still which may be why she is doing it i done the same thing cos he was with everyone else but me so i told every1 he was nasty and i should not of she may still love you ask your self if you still love her
Why does it matter? If it's not true, then that's her problem, not yours. You should be happy you're not with her anymore. She's obviously got some problems, mainly living in the past.



If I were you, I wouldn't give any of it any response at all. If a friend tells you some things she's been saying, simply don't care. It's not important. Why make it important? She's a psycho. So what? You're not with her anymore. Again, be happy that's the case. God is looking over you. He didn't want you to be with a nutcase. Lucky you.




She's still agonizing over you after 2 years apart???!!! The people that already know you aren't going to change their minds about you because of something she says so don't sweat that. And new women who may hear her rant are going to want to meet this guy who has such a hold on her that she's still obsessed after 2 years, they're going to want to ';test drive'; you to see if you really are all those things she said. Girls like ';bad'; boys so she's sort of building up your reputation. If anyone asks you if what she says is true, just shrug it off (being real cool) and say ';is she still mad 'cause I dumped her?';
Your buddy might be lying to you, has that occurred to you. Hopefully he is not and if that is the case ask your girlfriend to stop spreading defamatory story's about you and if she does not stop you will lay a charge against her. Leave it at that and see what happens.
ur a man , act like one . brush it off and move on . or u can climb into the sandbox with ur ex . where u kids can throw sand back and forth , till u both look stupid . and hey if the things she said are true get some help . but otherwise suck it up bro . don't act like a ***** . it sounds like ur ex has that department covered .

no worries bro